It’s a cold, wet Friday morning and I am drinking green tea with ginseng and honey. I think I’m coming down with a cold. I am achy, my throat hurts and my head is thick and foggy. Wish I had brought a scarf to work today. I sit slightly under one of those air vents so I have cold air coming down upon me. Good thing I dressed in layers, t-shirt and a sweater (at one time was thick and plush thing but today resembles a thin veneer of a sweater). Up until now I’ve been really good about staying healthy, washing my hands, moving away from the sickly members, co-workers and strangers alike, but I think Patient X in my circle was my sister’s boyfriend. Ergh! He’s been sick for the past week and has been in the apartment. I should have banned him as soon as he started sneezing. Alas, my sister would have quashed the idea. * humph *

Tomorrow I head to Brooklyn to help my mami make pork pasteles, which means black hands from handling green plantains. She gives me a pair of medical gloves but I can never seem to find a way to grate the plantains with those things on.

Anyway, I’ve been in the Holiday spirit this year. Humming Christmas carols to myself. I have three favorites: Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is You”, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” sung by Zooey Deschanel and Julie Andrews “Favorite things.” Okay, I know the last one is technically not a christmas song but Sound of Music always comes on t.v. around the holidays so I associate the two together.

My mood has been considerably better now that I’m taking some good quality vitamins. Project Healthy Me has had its ups and downs (pun intended). I seem to be circling around the same five pounds at the moment. I am still down 23 lbs. At one point I hit a 27 lb loss but that was short-lived and up I went again. There are some weeks that I am focused and aware…and then there are some weeks that it feels too hard and I don’t want to track anymore. Then I get back on that horse and continue. I need to get some more movement on my dance card. That’s the only way this weight loss will really take hold. I’m holding myself back. I see my hesitancy and my lack of motivation despite the fact that my body craves more movement.

The writing is still going. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I see the finish line up ahead and I’m trying not to cramp up and stop. I am almost 200 pages in with less than 50 pages to go…unless the story opens up again I follow it down another rabbit hole. Hehehe. Seriously though, I’ve been wrangling with a point of logic in the story and I need to untangle it for the rest of the words to come out. So with teeth to logistical knot I am trying to loosen it up and smooth it out for the rest of the piece to keep moving forward to its inevitable end. I’ll try to keep you posted but lately it’s been either putting up a post or working on the novel. The novel has been winning out. Yay.

Okay last bit, I was looking for new music the other day and came across this artist: Ben Howard – Only Love. I can’t stop listening to it. Check him out.

Best,



L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Water By The Spoonful - Quiara Alegria Hudes

Last night I went to see Water by the Spoonful by Quiara Alegria Hudes (in previews at Second Stage) and what a play. It won the 2012 Pulitzer Prize for Drama and I can see why. It’s both heartbreaking and funny. The parts that really made me laugh hard are those very Latin-ness sections. It could have been my family we were talking about and it felt so real and so present. I came away from this piece feeling inspired. I write these words with tears in my eyes because loving theater the way that I do, I always struggle with what my voice is for the stage. And last night, right there, up on that stage was a voice that felt real and contemporary and Latina. I have big happy tears and I’m so glad I went to see it. I won’t pick it apart the way I do other plays, there is always room to refine sections but this play is a rich cohesive piece. Actors Liza Colon-Zayas (Odessa) and Zabryna Guevara (Yaz) are shining stars in this piece. It’s so lovely to see a couple of juicy roles for these wonderful actresses to sink their teeth into. Ms. Hudes was in the audience last night and I went up to her during intermission to wish her my congratulations. If you are in the New York City area...get tickets before the play closes in late January.

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Another Balmy Monday - Really? In December?

It’s a deceptively warm December day and I am in a quiet pensive mood. My sister keeps asking me if anything’s wrong and I don’t really have an answer. My migraine finally let up at around 10 pm Sunday night. A full weekend of mind numbing pain and then it dissipated.

I went for a walk, just to get some air, in Bryant Park earlier. The ice rink is up and I’d like to go ice skating one of these nights after work. Tonight is yoga night tho’. Brought my mat and a change of clothes and heading for a Vinyasa studio after work. Just need to stretch and move my body a little bit. Just enough to remind me that I have some muscles that work. Oh, this is a hot studio, thought it might be a good change since my muscles are so tight from sitting at a desk all day long. We shall see how it goes.

No writing for the past three days. Writing group is next week and I need to do some editing work on the new pages before I send them around. That will be my task this week. I can move quickly through those pages since I know what changes I need to make for the future pages to make sense (I think). I’m not exactly sure if that last bit made much sense but I’ll assume that it’s coherent.

Then next week back to the last 100 pages. I actually don’t know if that’s how many pages are left to be written but for argument’s sake that’s an approximate number. My manuscript will probably test me on that point but I’m going with the flow (for a change).

And then I’m going to let it rest for 4 weeks while I work on my next writing project, a play. I’ve been missing my theater roots lately and I’m itching to write a full length piece. Now that I’m an actual member of the Dramatist Guild, I’d like to use some of their resources to put up a reading in the new year. There is much to do but I’m not flustered. I feel calm and centered. Wow, how is that possible?

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Tidbit

I've had a wicked migraine this weekend and it sux!!  My brain is on fire.  Too much time to dwell on the past and feeling all of my old mistakes. Why does that happen?  It's bad enough that I've been in pain for two days straight but I then add a layer of emotional crap onto it.  Bleck!!  Tonight, I'm just feeling miserable.  I couldn't see Pearl and the Beard live tonight...so I've been listening to them on YouTube.  Must buy their album. Anyway,  I love this song, The Lament of Coronado Brown.

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Sunday Loose-ness

Writing Update: 
Thursday ~200 words
Friday: ~1,600 words
Saturday: ~1,800 words
Sunday: 1,880 words
Total to date: 20,041
New Pages since Nov 1st: 62

I know I gripe way too much about my life, my writing and everything in-between. Here's the thing, my griping is part of my process. It is. I whine. I bitch. I complain and then I write. Then I start again.  But I always come back to the page. It keeps me sane. It give me a glow. It's where I find some of my power. Some, not all.   I still don't know where i'm going with this novel.  More days than not, I just want to burn the damn thing...but I'm not allowed to do that.  I just need to get to the end of the story arc.  That is my only job at the moment.  

Although writing along with NaNoWriMo, the goal was to hit 50,000 words...I'm not sure I'll reach that goal.  I'll just keep digging in every day and see how far I get.  But I'll put in time every day.  Five more days left till the end of the month. (Which roughly means 6,000 words per day if I try to reach for that goal). Then 31 more days till the end of the year to get my first draft done.  I am REACHING...and STRETCHiNG to get it done.  

I had a good time spending Thanksgiving with my family  Lots of laughs, lots of good food, lots of alcohol (altho' I abstained for a change), lots of shouty discussions and I had a fantastic time. Yay! My baked butternut squash dish didn't quite turn out the way I wanted...just wouldn't cook properly.  Ah well, no point.  For a change I did not beat myself up over it.  Progress.Little baby steps. 

Healthy food choices were okay. This week is not the week for weighing in.  I treated myself to an amazing Thai massage on Sunday.  It's been awhile since I've been able to move my neck this freely.  Ergh!  Way too much time at the computer.  Anyway, must get back to yoga on a more regular basis to keep the loose feeling going.  

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Long Answer to a Short Question

It’s Tuesday. Started my day with the sound of construction work outside my window. A jack hammer alarm is harder to find the snooze button on it. For a change, it actually didn’t bother me as much as it usually does. Mostly because the sound of construction gives me a sense that money is being spent on the infrastructure of the city and that always helps our limping economy.

Writing Update: Yep, don’t really wanna talk about it. Just haven’t done much with it this week. There are a hundred and one reasons (a.k.a. exuses) but none of them really matter. I was supposed to have been at 25,000 words on November 15th…wasn’t even close…still teetering around 14,000 somewhere [earlier I wrote 1,400 and that wasn't the case]. Writing this novel makes me want to hide my head under my duvet. It’s frustrating. I have a hard time letting go of control. Ergh. This lesson is biting me in the ass.

Last Wednesday, I was having the worst possible day. I hit my wall. I was just angry. Part of it is the writing (or lack thereof). Part of it is my past keeps trying to invade my present…and I was having complicated feelings about it. The scale was starting to creep up again. I know this is all very personal but hell this is part of the human experience, no? We all struggle with feelings of frustration and anger and how that impacts our every day. And I wanted to quit. Quit EVERYTHING!! Quit writing, quit my shamanic training, quit my job, quit project “healthy me.” Just cut out. Running away fantasies. The problem with running away is that I take ME along in this scenario. It doesn’t matter where I go, I will come upon the same problems and the same manners in which I deal with them in the same way. No way of getting around it…and no matter where I go, there is my stack of baggage that comes along. It didn’t help that I was also dealing with a wicked migraine. I just tuck myself into a cold dark room and I want the world to go away. Actually, I just want the pain to go away.

There is always this moment whenever I am doing things that are healthy for me where I just want to stop. No rhyme or reason to why I want to stop, I just don’t want to continue. I convince myself that nothing is ever really going to work. In fact, several years ago, I was running (jogging) pretty steadily. I had moved myself from running a couple of miles up to 5.5-6 mile runs. I was getting that lovely release of endorphins and feeling pretty good about my pace. Then one day, I went for a run down along the river and made it down to 116 street from 151 street. It was less than a 2 mile run and I stopped. I wasn’t hurting, I wasn’t winded…I just stopped moving. It was a clear bright cool spring day and I turned around and caught a bus home. I didn’t ask the question, didn’t even bother. That was the last time I ran. I miss running. Note to self: start running again.

I woke up on Thursday having a complete change over. Magic elves were working on my psyche that night because I felt bright and positive and shiny again. Where had all the self-pity that I usually cloak myself with gone? Instead, I opted to get back on healthy food choices and a long walk during lunch. I added another 200 words to my novel but I hardly count them. In fact, I don’t even think I added them onto my NaNoWriMo tally. Ergh! Anyway, neither here nor there. I just realized that I matter. Yes, my writing will sometimes suck…but my writing is just an aspect of who I am, it’s not the sum of all my parts. Weird how something so obvious seems so foreign to me.  This is my long answer to a short question: I'm back on track.

Friday night I went to dinner with a friend and we went to see the play, The Outgoing Tide written by Bruce Graham. Such a good piece of drama. Peter Strauss as the lead actor was fantastic! His performance gave me goose bumps. Graham’s writing was gorgeous because it was both funny and serious in a way that was even-handed. There were scenes that went on a tad too long but for the most part it really was an amazingly well developed piece.

Then Saturday night, I went to see Ani DiFranco in concert at Town Hall. She went on one of her feminist liberal rants and I LOVED IT! She started off the night by doing a poetic piece. About being citizens, not just consumers. Yay!! She said a lot more but I don’t want to mis-represent her with my own feminist rant! Hahaha!

Wait, before I get ahead of myself. Let me first talk about the opening act. A little group from Brooklyn called Pearl and the Beard. Their sound was so right on, they actually blew me away. I am sharing one of their songs below. They are so good that I didn’t want them to stop singing. They are playing at Brooklyn’s Bell House, Dec 1st. May go see them there. Their music give me chills!!

Back to Ani DiFranco. She sang new material and there is something about her music that speaks to me down to my DNA. She had some beautiful fucked up love songs that did me in. I was sitting in the balcony with big soppy tears streaming down my face but they were so WORTH IT! She also sang some of her old material, like 32 flavors and Shameless (one of my favorites) and I loved it when the audience sang along. It was a great moment. Really fantastic!
Okay, I think we are all caught up.

'Nuff 'bout me
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Inner Critic Won This Round

Let's see, where should I start this?...oh yes, word count.  I will confess that Friday night I did not write.  * Gasp - I KNOW * I had my inner critic shaking her finger at me and ranting on and on about laziness which is never my favorite word.  I was checked out and having a pity party for myself.  Should I list all the things that got in the way...really it was just my "skewed thinking brain" that got in my way.  Here are some sound bytes (take with a grain of salt in the light of day):  I don't like the story any more, I don't think I am smart enough to write this particular story, I am convinced that my writing is crap with all my split infinitives and excessive ramblings, And then it got worse. And nothing I told myself worked, I was convinced that washing dishes and  cleaning my cat's litter box was SO MUCH more important that working on my writing.  Really?!  Really?  So ONE WHOLE DAY without writing.  Ergh.

Today I was racing through my day.  Saturday was spent in a crazy whirlwind of errands. Picking up my dad's birthday present from the post office, buying the appropriate display case for it and pretty wrapping paper, lots of time on a line that snaked for two and a half days through the store, sheesh, ...it was crazy-town in my brain today because no one was moving fast enough. Then at 3:30, I met up with my writing group and we talked about Christine's story...gosh, so very proud of her and all the work that she's done on it. All the talking about writing craft made me ready to FACE THE PAGE...* by the way, I did that with a low, booming voice * So I hopped online, went to the NaNoWriMo website to check my stats and they were dismal since I didn't put one word on the page yesterday.  Today, I managed, 1,600 words in two and a half hours.  Yay!  Okay, I'm still behind the eight ball on this one...do you see that diagonal line...that's where I should be hitting right now if I'm going to hit 50,000 words at the end of the months...eeesh!  My grand total so far is 11,101 words.  Now, according to all their stats I need to write 8,000 words on Sunday to be caught up.  Why does it feel like I'm in school all over again? My goal for tomorrow is 5,000 words.  Eight hours, two breaks to eat a small meal...I can do it right?  *gulp* And could I possibly squeeze in a walk in Central Park?

I have a dinner party to go to tomorrow night.  That's actually going to be my incentive...prize at the end of the tunnel...'cause I love Lance's cooking and his wife Patty makes the best Sangria EVER!!

My Stats on NaNoWriMo Website...Eeek!!

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Note to Self: Write

First thing first: Word count for today is 1,004 bringing total word count to 9,501
I'm okay with the short clip.  Not fighting with my story and just allowing myself to follow its lead.  It's funny, I've written and re-written the first six chapters so many times that I sometimes lose the story line thread.  Today, I kept checking back on what I've written to make sure that the new material is mostly in line with what I've written before.   Note to self: print out the last version of Indigo and place in a binder.  I've had my computer crash one too many times not to have a hard copy handy.  Altho' I could back up my files too...hmm should be time since I can't remember the last time I actually backed up my computer.

New music...I came across this artist while surfing for new music.  Heard the song and really liked it's pop-py tune. Misha B's voice reminds me of my queen of soul, Chaka Khan. This song, at around 2:39, picks up temp and it's the reason why I keep listening to this song over and over again.  Enjoy!!

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Word Count is Kicking My A**

Let's start off with word count update.  That seems to be all I have eyes for these days even though I've had two very slow days. 
On Tuesday: 513 words
On Wednesday: 824 words
Total word count to date: 8,497 words

I'm trying not to be too hard on myself for not meeting at least 1,600 words for each of those days. I'm trying to think bigger picture.  What I find interesting about this process is that my sucky mood on Tuesday left me fighting even with my own writing.  The story wanted to go one way and I didn't want to go in that particular direction so the words stopped coming out. Hmph!  So we were at an impasse and we sat there staring at each other.  My story didn't blink and I backed away for the night. 

Then last night, I told myself to let the story go wherever it wanted to go and I managed to eke out 800 more words. But then the story bucked up once again and it wanted to go in a direction that I didn't think was very believeable. Ergh! I was fighting with it again.  I deleted words and then I reminded myself that I was going to allow the story to go where it wanted to go and it didn't matter if I believed  it or not.  I needed to give the story space to breathe so then I retyped those last couple of sentences again and waited.  Now that it was going into unknown country I was going to follow its lead.  I could feel myself reaching out trying to figure out what next? The words wouldn't come...hell, I was staring at a blank screen, literally and figuratively.  I stayed in place.  Just sat there and waited for 15 more minutes.  I've even stopped tweezing, I realized that I was in danger of tweezing all my eyebrows off and then I would have to paint eyebrows on every morning.  Hehehe.  I called it a night after writing for an hour and waiting for more those empty 15 minutes. 

Oh yes, I wanted to share this tidbit.  I hopped on the scale this morning and it gave me a number I didn't quite believe. I dropped another three lbs.  Despite what the scale is indicating, I almost don't want to take it at face value. I got off and on three times to make sure that my scale wasn't broken or wrong. My weight has been up and down all week but the weight I write down is Thursday's weight. Something I learned from my Weight Watcher days because weight fluctuates depending on meals, water retention, etc.  My total weight loss to date is 25.5 lbs. Holy Fucking Hell!! I am entering Week 15 of my Healthy Lifestyle changes and I am reminding myself to curb the sweet drinks.  I've allowed myself a couple of sodas this week when I was feeling crappy but seeing the scale on it's downward trajectory is getting me back on track.  Hoorah!!
Doing a little happy dance!

Peace,

L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Crackling Tuesday

I am taking a break from the tedious dysfunction of my day job because my head is about to split open and a swarm of locust are going to come flying out. Argh!! I am in such a rotten mood today. And the worse my mood gets, the quicker I snap at the people around me. Perhaps I shouldn’t listen to the head-thrashing rock music right now…that seems to exacerbate this feeling of utter frustration coursing through my body. I need ice cubes to nosh on. It always helps “cool” me down.
My sister writes, “You determine how you respond to information.”
Ergh. Right now my response is anger, the cold jaw-tightening kind.

Trying to listen to some music to pull me out of my mood or at the very least change my automatic setting. Anyway, I’ve been listening to this new group, POLIÇA. The lead singer uses reverb or Auto-tunes or some crazy techie app to create this computerized sound. Usually, not a big fan of this kind of music making but for some reason I’m hooked on this song. Maybe it’s the cute lead singer with the pixie haircut. Or maybe it’s her awkward nerdy dance moves. You gotta love it.

Novel Writing Update: Last night’s word count: 1,404
Bringing my total word count up to 7,160.
That’s something, I guess.

I’m off shortly to go take a walk. Perhaps NYC’s icy air will help dispel the heat of this fury. Or maybe some retail therapy? The vendors are up in Bryant Park. Oof, need to be very careful with that tactic.

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Word Count Update

Pandora keeping me company while I write (Nov. 2012)

Saturday total word count: 1,740

Sunday word count: 1,456

Total to date: 5,756

I know I wanted to write more but the words began to slow down. I stuck to it and stayed in place tho' just in case there was more to transcribe. Pandora kept me company.  She's been sticking close which is totally appreciated.  Managed to cook a healthy meal so I have lunch for a couple of days (steamed kale, baked tofu and sprouts). Uhm yep.  That's all she wrote.

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Sweet Chilly Saturday

Tagged Scaffold on E. 77th.  Complete tag is "love yaya" (Nov. 2012)

I spent the day walking around Central Park.  People were out in droves.  It's chilly but walking around was exactly what I needed after I spent the morning writing.  Let's see it's day 3 of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo, for short).  

Thursday's word count: 1,140.

Last night's word count: 1,420.

This morning's word count: 1,212.

Total word count so far: 3,772

It's amazing how a little writing every day adds up.  Hoorah. Feeling pretty proud of myself at the moment. I know it's only three days in and after I finish with this post, I'm going for a second writing jag. I'm trying to hit 3,000 words today and another 3,000 words tomorrow. Just trying to give myself a cushion in case the writing slows down during the week.  Always anticipating the worst.  Hehehe.  

Just had a bowl of chili with beans as a late lunch.  Brewing a pot of tea while I write this entry up.  And then I'm off to NYC in the year 2127.  Crazy shit is going down and my protagonist Castle has been accused of treason.  She's heading back to Alpha base to get some answers and to help clear her name but information is coming to light that makes it seem as if she might be working for the other side.   I think my role here is that of typist because this story is tumbling out onto the page faster than I can type.  Every time there is  a pause or a feeling like I'm not sure what else is coming up ahead...I just tweeze my eyebrows.  Yep, you read that right, I tweeze *giggle *  So my eyebrows are finally starting to have of a more tamed look to them finally...I've been sporting the crazy scientist version up until now.  I'm not even sure I meant to share that much information but hell, these bits are all part of the quirky eccentricities that make me, ME!   Yay!!  I feel a musical number bubbling up...hehehe.  

Anyway, one more pic uploaded below and then I'm off to try to hit my 3,000 word count.  

Sunlight on moving water in Central Park (Nov. 2012)

Voilà.

Peace,

L~ 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Lady Luck

First off, let’s talk about Hurricane Sandy. It has left NYC scrambling, I’m sure the news agencies are still talking about the millions of dollars in damage, and the families impacted, and the efforts still happening with clean up. Thankfully, my immediate family stayed safe and most of us live on higher ground. Altho’ my sister’s Soho apartment is out of electricity, she and the kids are crashing at my mom’s place. Poor mami. Hehehe. No, just kidding. We have been lucky and I acknowledge that. I know there are people who were not so lucky. My neighborhood had trees go down but that was the worst of it.

Really I spent the last three days taking cat naps with Pandora, watching episodes of shows recorded on my DVR, wrote a little, worked on some assignments that are long overdue and listened to music. I took the opportunity to just take it easy. I had a mild migraine during the storm but once the storm let up so did my migraine. I did not take photos of the damage nor did I venture outside during the storm...I opted for being safe. Today was the first day back at the office and my subway line is working. I was able to get into work in an hour and a half. Again, I’ve been lucky. Last bit, today is the start of National Writing Month. I am going to try to hit 50,000 words by the end of the month and hopefully finish the draft of my novel. That is the plan. I will let you know how that pans out. It amount to about 1,666 words per day. Wish me luck!!

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

What a vibrant world

I had a helluva morning commute. My train is delayed and it sits in-between stations because of an incident in lower Manhattan. Twenty minutes later it finally enters a station. I wait another ten minutes before I decide to try to catch a cab since it looks like we weren’t moving any time soon. Yep, a few hundred people had the same idea so I couldn’t hail a cab if my life depended on it. I walk a few blocks to catch a cross town bus. It’s packed but I managed to squeeze in and then realize that I’m going in the wrong direction…that’s right, it’s going back uptown. Ergh. How does that happen?? Anyway, it does manage to cross over a few avenues. Hop back off and walk a couple of blocks and check the bus signs. Yep, right bus heading for Penn station. At least it’s going in the direction that I need. The bus pulls into Columbus Circle and announces that it’s the last stop. Are you kidding me? I hop off and decide to walk the rest of the way to work. At least that was a plus. It’s a mild overcast October day. I popped in my iTunes and listened to some hard rock as I power walked my way to work (3/4 of a mile). Hehehe. Picked up a bagel and entered my building. I was an hour late for work. Sheesh! Now I’m sitting in an air-conditioned office…chilled to the bone and this hot tea just doesn’t seem to be doing the trick.
The Fall always brings an abundance of energy for me. I am awake and bright-eyed!! Even overcast days can’t take the smile off my face. I love the feeling of the wind on my face. I feel like a superhero because I can feel Power (yes, with a capital P) radiate from my body. Yum! I enjoy the sound of small birds perched on the straggly trees or the sound of the wind moving through the trees. I can feel the vibrancy of the world around me, from the red and orange hues of the leaves to the little girl wanting to be in her daddy’s arms because the world is such a big and noisy place. Lovely.

Can’t wait for the weekend to see what I can get up to...Yay! Have a great weekend.

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Wired and Tired (part deux)

Hudson River, October 2012

I'm back!  It's taken me a couple of days to sit down and write an entry.  The long weekend visiting T was good.  Lots of running around, schlepping materials and inventory.  Not much writing done...oh well.  Basically, I crashed every night I was there.  Altho' I managed to learn how to make sushi rolls...who knew it was so easy?  Thanks for the lesson Tony.  Brought home some stinky Korean stew and homemade white nectarine jam.  Yum!!  Also managed a quick pic from my train window.  

It's 11:30 pm and my brain is wide awake...the body not so much.  God! I want to write and write and write and I'm sure I'll end up with only quick paragraphs of random bits.  

Finally finished Beautiful Shadow: A Life of Patricia Highsmith by Andrew Wilson.  This bio was both dense and so well written.  It took me a while to get through and the inevitable ending brought tears to my eyes.  She died in a hospital alone.  Ah.  We are all moving in that same direction, n'est pas?  I am neither morose or morbid about death, instead I've linked arms with it.  If we're doing this, there is much to done before it comes to pass.  Hopefully, I'll get to accomplish one or two more things before I pass on.   

I've picked up the book Art & Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking by David Bayles & Ted Orland.  This is a must-have for every creative person out there.  I've read this book quite a few times especially when I'm stuck with my writing.  I am telling you I can open to any page at random and it inspires me to work.  This book is MAGIC for me.  On the train home from the day job, I read the section on Perfectionism and actually laughed out loud because the authors should have just started the chapter with Dear Lily... it was so on point.  Ergh!  Embarrassing but true.

I've been watching the show Nashville.  Yes, guilty pleasure.  Loving the cast and storyline on this new tv drama.  Okay, I know I'm not a big fan of country music but there are a couple of songs on there so good I had to download at least one.  My pick for tonight was Fade Into You sung by Sam Palladio and Clare Bowen.  The version was so sweet and tender it made me go all mush.  * awwwww *

Okay, I think I'm going to finish there...I'll write more in the morning after my first cup of tea.

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Pulling It Together.

Today I woke up in a better head space. I went home feeling pretty low but I talked some of it out and not even 15 minutes into the conversation I was starting to feel better. I realized that this feeling of unsatisfaction only come on when I start in on myself about where I “should be” in my life, career, writing, relationships, etc. instead of being fully present to where I am right now! Serenity Now!! That makes such a huge difference in my outlook. Shifting perspective just a half inch to the right helped.

Last night, I helped tutor someone who is studying for one of his professional exams and to see him make significant strides in both the work and the material gave me a feeling of a job well done. We are far from done since his test is at the end of the month but just changing a few of his study habits has really helped him retain a vast amount of information. Yay!! His progress helped turn my self-pity mood around.

So today I had my hungry kitty sitting on my bed, staring at my face, until her Jedi powers woke me up. She wouldn’t allow me to go back to sleep because she kept patting my face with her paw. Glad her claws were retracted. Hehehe.

I also went down another lb. Yay!! Doing a happy dance. Bringing my total up to 20.5 lbs in 10 weeks. Hoorah!! I am closer to my goal.

All for now…peace out~
L~

I'm back to waving my freak flag, Beotches!!  Video below: Halestorm - Freak Like Me. 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Odd Duck.

I’m having a moment.  It’s troublesome really.  My perspective is slightly skewed and I don’t know how to right myself up.  I’m feeling like an odd duck today.  Maybe it’s about being a creative type in a financial setting.  Maybe it’s being over-educated and under-employed.  Maybe I just need a break from this place. Maybe it’s the lack of writing.  Being a frustrated writer sucks. Whatever the case may be I can feel hot tears of frustration welling up as I sit here at my desk writing this entry. Leaving for upstate NY in a couple of days.  Will be good to get away.  Will be good to take a break from the reality of my own life.  All I want to do is work on some writing for a good long stretch of time and see if that will right the picture.  My teeth are clenched. Trying to prevent the emotional dam from breaking through and not being very successful as I place fingers in the cracks.  I don’t know what happened to my positive outlook.  I’d blame it on the rain if it was raining.  PLUS!  I’m having a bad hair day…looks like a bird’s nest…altho’ a nest is neater that my straggly looking tresses.  I’m a hot mess and I am very aware of it right now.  Ergh!!   

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Mondays are for Whiners.

Hehehe. Seriously. I’ve spent the better part of the day listening to folks bitch and complain about one thing or another. I need a tea break and an escape route. It’s going to be a short week for me. Off to upstate NY to help T. out with his last craft show for the season and some quiet time to work on my novel. Sweet Jesus..I need to finish this draft by year’s end.

I’m still reading Highsmith’s bio. I came up to the chapter on her racist views of Jews, Blacks and Puerto Ricans. It left me in a quandary. I wasn’t sure I wanted to read on. I just don’t understand how an intellect can be a racist. Won’t delve too deeply into my own thoughts on that right now. Some friends encouraged me to keep going with the bio and keep in mind the context of the socio-political-economic atmosphere of her times. I’ve pushed on and am now reading about her life in the late 1970s. I’m almost done with this book. As much as I want to read every book she’s ever written…I may hit just a few more of her most noted novels to see the progression of her craft. It will be interesting to see how her work unfolded and her writing developed in her lifespan. I’ve also jotted down a list of books that influenced her work. May read those as well.

On Friday, I went to see Nilo Cruz’s play, A Bicycle Country at Theater for the New City in the East Village. The first half of the play was much better than the second half. His writing is so beautiful, it’s poetic. A few lines have stuck in my grey matter. There was supposed to be a Q&A with the playwright but alas he cancelled out. One of the actors said, she thought the play was a hopeful piece. Oh my gosh, I completely disagree with her. It’s the antithesis of hopeful. In fact, the second half goes to such a dark place that I expected all the actors to each take a knife and open their veins right there on stage. Gruesome visual but true sentiment nonetheless.

On Saturday, I met up with my writing group at our monthly meeting. I think we need to find a new venue. Our current location was so filled with a tour group that we could hardly hear ourselves. Afterwards, we went to a wine bar for a little catching up. I’ve been to this place once before, Amelie down on West 8th Street. It’s so cute and I had a lovely glass of Cote du Rhone wine. I actually had several glasses of wine but the red was my favorite. Yum!

Alas, all this socializing has left me a little off-track with some of my healthier eating choices. Drat! But today I’m back on track. Yay!! I’ve hit a bit of a plateau but I’m not worried as long as the scale doesn’t start trending back up again. I am steady with 19.5 lbs lost. I just need to break the 20 lb mark ‘cause I have a long way to go.

Tonight some yoga and a light dinner and I’ll be good to go. Working on strengthening the muscles around my crappy knees. Hehehe…that made me giggle.

Mmm, I picked up Mumford & Sons new album, Babel. Really good album. I still like Sigh No More much better but maybe I just haven’t listened closely enough yet. We shall see.

All for now.

Peace,

L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Finding the gooey center.

It was an interesting evening Wednesday night. I always love that hush that falls over the audience…it’s the moment that I know people are listening. And I found my calm center when I got up to read my poems. My pieces were well received. Yay!! The other poets were really good too.

The audience was a mixed group… altho’ the people who worked for the paper tended to gravitate towards each other. I’m glad I had a few friends in the audience. By the time I was on the train heading home the adrenaline began to wear off …needless to say I crashed when I got home.

This has been a crazy hectic week and I am ready to for the weekend.

My best friend T. is going to have surgery soon. A bit worried over it but have been fluctuating between that and complete denial. Going up to his neck of the woods next weekend. Will know more then. Ergh.

Lots of running around the next three days. Tonight, I’m off to a reading of Nilo Cruz’s work in progress. I’m looking forward to that. Plus they are having a Q&A afterwards. I also have writing group on Saturday. Really looking forward to that too. Fall is always such a busy time, glad I have the energy.

That’s all I have for now. More to come later.

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Hunting Bats

It’s day of event! I’m excited and nervous and the butterflies that I had early this morning have turned into bats. My stomach has been rumbling and grumbling…it sounds like an alien baby is trying to escape. Ergh!! It’s early afternoon and I have a little less than three hours before I leave work. Today is a day to throw myself into a project to focus on something other than my nerves. But alas, my high adrenaline won’t allow for concentrated effort.

After the Heart concert, I’ve been on the hunt for killer rocker women and I came across this group: Halestorm. Lead singer Lzzy has a twisty voice and I also have a soft spot for redheads (dammit*). This song is a fast, screaming, shredding rock song. LOVE IT!!

Enjoy beotches!! 

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Palabras, Ritmo, y Arte

Quick shout out with details for tomorrow's event.  I'll be reading a poem from my book, A Scorched Page. 

Name of Event: Palabras, Ritmo, y Arte

Sponsored by The New York Times Company VOCES Latino Heritage Network
Wednesday, October 10th from 5:30 pm to 8:30 pm
Address: 620 8th Avenue (between 41st & 42nd Street), 15th floor Conference Center

There will be Musical Artists, Spoken Word Artists and Visual Artists represented. Free and open to the public.

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

It’s a brisk October day and I like the feel of the cold breeze on me.

This weekend I watched my younger sister Vick run a half-marathon in Staten Island. She ran 13.1 miles in 2 hours 12 minutes (official time). Hoo-Rah!! She was up by 4 am getting ready for her race and I followed soon after by getting up at 4:30 am.

The day was cold and by the time she finished it had started to rain.

And with the rain came a full blown migraine on me. Ergh! It just sucked! I’d been doing so well managing these migraines. I’ve only had mild ones lately, the kind where I can still function. With the new healthy diet, losing weight and the vitamins I’ve been taking…I thought they were FINALLY starting to subside. But this migraine laid me out. We arrived back at the apartment by 2 pm and all I could do was go to my room, draw the shades and sleep. I was back to the nausea, light sensitivity and the right side of my brain on fire. *sigh *

Today, the cold outside feels good but I feel sluggish and low energy with the remnants of a mild migraine. I am trying not to sink into my usual pity party. It’s difficult not to when dealing with a long term health issue. Anyway, it’s time to get my day started.

Today I’m listening to Blue October. Love the raspy voice of lead singer Justin Furstenfeld. I’m putting up a 2011 video, THE FEEL AGAIN (STAY)

It’s a Blue October day.  Peace, L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Esta Noche

It’s Friday…and it’s slightly past the middle of the day and I can barely keep my eyes open. Feeling a bit low-energy. I’m on my second 12-oz of cold water to try to shake me awake. It’s not working. Instead, it just makes me want to pee often. I’m grumbly and moody. I ate a healthy veggie chili with a spicy kick that I made last night. It was yummy. But I’m feeling high-strung and upset today. I reached out to a friend and we kvetched about writing and it made me laugh at that moment. But now I’m back with chin in hand wanting to connect with my sci-fi novel. The one that’s not working. I’m frustrated. So I work on other things but the other projects don’t leave me satisfied. Instead, it heightens my frustration. Ergh!
Anyway, I wrote the following passage on the train home after Heart’s concert on Wednesday. It’s a pretty rough first draft….

Afterwards

In darkness love could be wrong

legs cross away, we do no speak clearly

bottles left uncovered, spilling over.

I am lost on First Avenue at midnight

bags lean against my thigh

she leaves me, reading a book.

My music consists of guitar players,

quiet vocals singing my lost poetry

We don’t speak, we squeeze into tight

subway spaces reminded that we loved

each other once. My watch has stopped,

your time is wrong and neither figure

on being right for a change. Wait,

while I write complicated prose

on my back teeth, past Cypress Avenue

at half past midnight and limp away

on blistered knees and bleeding feet.

Open my eyes and you have left me

again. Black kohl smudge the page

from stained fingertips. Inverted

phrases say nothing and tease me

that I was once a poet who wore

a black trench on a humid October

night and the rains have kept away.

You love me, especially at night

alone, keeping company with memories.

Ignite the corrections and a foot stamps

against the train floor. Pack a layer

of the past, the mewling cat demands

to be fed as Ann Wilson sings my path

home when uncovered bottles tip over.

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

HEART Rocked My World

Last night at the Beacon Theater…Ann Wilson rocked my world! She is the reason why I love the sound of rocker women! And she wailed last night up to the rafters and I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!! The show was truly amazing. She started the gig with a couple of songs from her new album which were reminiscent of early Heart music. And then the third song started as a tender version of What About Love, which crescendo-ed with the chorus and big soppy tears began to roll down my face and she had me hooked from that point on.

I know there is this amazing band that is playing alongside of Ann Wilson so big props to them for playing their hearts out (no pun intended). Nancy Wilson on her guitars, both electric and acoustic, was PHENOMENAL!! True blue rock music filled the space up.

I grew up listening to HEART and to hear them now live after all these years made me lose my mind. Ann Wilson still has such a powerful voice and I could not get enough of it. I was thrashing and singing and howling along with them and I was loving every minute of it. They sang ALONE, THESE DREAMS, CRAZY ON YOU, MAGIC MAN and my all time favorite BARRACUDA. I could not stop screaming and by the end of the night I had very little voice left but who needs to talk. Heart played a two-hour show and god-oh-god-oh-god were they worth it!! I am so VERY FUCKING GLAD that this is how I’m ending my concert season. Hoo-RAH! Rocker Chicks Rule!!

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

October Snuck Up On Me

It’s a foggy Wednesday morning and I haven’t quite woken up despite the fact that I’m sitting at my desk at work. *yawn * I realized this morning that October snuck up on me. Yes, the month. Where did September go? First it was August all hot and humid and then it was October and the leaves are changing color.

Tonight, I am going to see Heart at Beacon Theater. Can’t wait! I need some screamer rocker chicks to take away the bitter taste that has lingered since Jack White’s concert on Saturday. I heard he played a full set on Sunday…which hasn’t helped with the anger that I’ve been holding onto. Ergh! Anyway…Heart…tonight!! It sounds like their new album is going back to their edgier sound. Excellent!!

Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

White Noise

Saturday night’s concert was a huge disappointment. I don’t even know where to start, I am between despondent over it and completely pissed off over what happened. Jack White played for less than hour and then he left the stage. We all thought he was taking a break and he’d come back out. After waiting twenty minutes, the curtains came down and they announced that the show was over. The complete outrage that rang throughout the crown was palpable. I sincerely could NOT believe it.

I had gotten there early, sat in a mostly empty theater and read a book. I love the quiet of an empty theater before a show. There is a hushed sound for a good long while, before the crowds come in, that leaves me feeling peaceful. I was excited but calm. I even broke my healthy eating choices by having a hot dog with mustard and a ginger ale for dinner. Ergh! I regretted that decision much later.

Anyway, the opening act was not my cup of tea. It was twangy act from the Midwest that left me yawning. It happens. They only sang a few songs but I had to take a walk around to get away from listening to them. It’s been a long time since I walked around Radio City Music Hall and I’d forgotten how it looks with its red velvet carpets and gawdy gold walls. Another break between opening act and then Jack White was on.

White played with the all-male band. He played a bit erratic, he’d start up an intro to one song and then cross over to another intro to another song before settling in on some version of a third song. I don’t know what the fuck he was doing. He was having trouble with the sound in the venue, there was a back echo that was making him mad. He was having trouble with how calm the place was at the beginning because he asked the audience if “this was an NPR convention?” which was meant to be funny but it came off as snide. I’m not sure what he was expecting? This was a sit down venue and everyone was on their feet…what more was he expecting with the limitations of the space? Folks bum-rushing the stage? He also had some choice words for folks in the front rows. I think he was arguing with someone who was taking either pics of him or video. He kept yelling at them to cut it out. Then he also castigated someone for clapping in between a song, he was offended. Really?! He did play an okay set…he had a really good moment with his electric guitar but one moment does not a concert make. Anyway, when he finally signed off, I thought he was just taking a break and he’d be back. But alas, that did not happen.

I’ve always heard that he was a bit of a diva but I wrote it off as being eccentric. After all, his talent level was on the high side so it was easy to write off. Now his eccentricity was affecting ME [yes, I am having a selfish moment] and I was not happy. I paid hard-earned money to see him live and I resented the fact that he gave us less than an hour’s worth of show. In that case, I could have watched a YouTube version of the show for free. The couple who sat in front of me kept going on and on about how they paid $500 for their tickets and how it was the last time they’d go to one of his concerts. I’m with them. WTF? I was livid as I left the theater. So much so that I got into a shouting match out in the streets with some random New Yorkers. I surprised myself. My apologies for losing my damn mind. I may not have paid $500 for the ticket BUT this concert-going experience has left a sour taste. Believe me when I tell you, I am BITTER!!

Good thing that my last concert for this season will be HEART! I am hoping they will right the wrongs of this past Saturday by giving a kick ass performance this coming Wednesday. After Heart, I’m taking a break from the live concert experience, perhaps save a little cash to go on holiday in the New Year. Some friends want to go to London and I am making a serious plea for Barcelona or Greece. We shall see, we shall see.

I am off to make myself a cup of tea, to remind me that I was civilized once upon a time. 
Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Happy Friday, Part Deux

Dear readers,

It’s a dark, soaking wet Friday in good ol’ Nu Yawk Sitty…but it’s FRIDAY!! YAY!! Before you start looking for part one of Happy Friday...there isn't one.  Hehehe...I just like writing DEUX. 

I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge that sometimes I put in way too minutiae regarding my life and that can be a little off-putting. After all, we all have to deal with the every day realities of our lives. So thanks for sticking around and reading my blog anyway.

Being a creative person in this world…is complicated sometimes. In writing this blog, I wanted to share some of my process with a larger audience. But I have found that writing about my writing life…is very similar to making a movie about a writer. Basically, you cut to a montage of a writer at a typewriter or a computer pounding away either in ecstasy or in dismay. Either lying on a bed bemoaning the work, or pacing the room talking to oneself as a writer struggles to get through a section. Riiiiiight!

That’s a romantic notion. I think pounding on a keyboard is right but everything else…eh, not so much. I say all this because this writer works a full time day job to pay bills, who jots character description based on the strangers I come across on the train, who daydreams about frantic love affairs to capture them on the page, who writes lines of poetry on scraps of papers, who is moved by good music and little independent movies, who consumes books like oxygen, who takes care of Pandora (a short haired black Bombay cat), who can’t decide between paying her cell phone bill or buying tickets to see Ed Sheeran in concert (hehehe, true story), who helps her dad with every computer questions he can come up with, who helps her sisters with writing memos, who helps friends revamp resumes, eeek…you get the point. A busy life. Don’t we all have that?

At the same time, I am trying to get healthier in my body, do a little walking, a little stretching, a little yoga, and eating better. I am down 19.5 lbs as of this morning. Hoo-RAH! Trying not to be everyone’s caretaker until I have my own house in order (not an easy lesson after being so good at be there for others). Trying a new outlook on life. Trying new recipes, cooking for myself again, tonight I am making an Okra Veggie Stew. Phew! Just writing this out makes me a little tired…hehehe. No, not really. I’m taking my vitamins and I am ready to go.

It’s really when I’m up late at night staring at the ceiling that I think I’m wasting time. Tick, tock, tick tock, there is much to do. White rabbit syndrome, “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late for an important date.” Yet knowing there is just so much I can do in a day. After writing this blog out, I’ll be off to write my errand list for tomorrow…and try really hard to remember that tomorrow night I’m going to see Jack White in concert. SWEET!!

[Upcoming Event]
I’ve been invited to read one of my poems at the New York Times VOCES Affinity Group Event for Hispanic Heritage Month on October 10, 5:30-8:30 pm at 620 Eighth Ave. New York, NY 10018. Open to the public. Palabras, Ritmo y Arte A Celebration of Latino Poetry, Music And Art Featuring spoken word artists, musicians and a mixed media artists gallery showcasing the vibrant words and art of Latinos from the Tristate area.

Have an amazing Friday!
Peace,
L~



All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Who Turned the Power Up?

It's Wednesday night and I'm feeling better today.  My energy is back up and the hacking cough has subsided (somewhat).  Really the only place where the cough acts up is in the ice boxes that I travel in a.k.a. MTA trains.

I'm in a pensive mood tonight.  I have a lot of work to do.  A lot of writing yet to be done.  The pressure is in my gut.  The tension in my jaw.  Tight.  I keep stretching my neck...and it won't let go.  There are too many things by way of distraction and all I want is some quiet.  I may have to go back to getting up at 5 am to write for a couple of hours.  It's the only time of day that seems to work.  Ergh!  I am not a morning person but drastic times call for drastic measures.  And I want to finish the story arc of this novel.

I've actually been thinking about buying an Underwood manual typewriter. I've been getting a bit fed up with technology of late.  This idea just made me giggle and I've already changed my mind to....it's going to be the gift I buy myself once I finish writing this first novel. We all need incentives.  

Pandora just plopped down against my leg to get her belly rubbed.  She doesn't quite understand "busy writing"...'cause in her life...it's always a good time to get a belly rub.

Oh goodness, I feel like my brain is on overdrive.  Who turned the power up?  I think it's time for me to unplug.

Oh wait...one last thing before I go...Jack White concert on Saturday night....WooHoo!!

Uhm yep, I think I'm done now.

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

I jinxed myself.

I was telling a co-worker that I was NOT going to get sick this season. Boy was I wrong. Friday I had a scratchy throat and by Sunday it was a full blown head cold. Argh! I did manage to run a few errands on Saturday and meet up with my writing group to talk about the craft of writing. We took a look at some of our favorite writers to show what we think good writing looks like. Cool indeed. Afterwards, we hit a wine bar to have a couple of glasses of wine. I woke up on Sunday with a full blown cold. Ergh!!

Once I was up and about, I convinced myself that I was well enough to go into Little Italy to try to find a restaurant with my sister. Lo and behold we happened to hit the San Genero festival….eeek!! Too many people and not enough room to walk. After walking the length of Spring street and unable to find the place we were looking for…we hopped in a cab and went back cross town to one of our favorite spots on MacDougal called Snack. Yummy Greek food. We had lamb sandwiches, and an assortment of appetizers of tzizki, stuffed grape leaves, potato garlic puree, feta cheese with warm pita bread. And let’s not forget the Mimosa and Bellini. As good as the food was…I was chilled to the bone from out trek through little Italy.

By the time I made it home...well let’s just say, I crashed hard. The next day I could barely get out of bed. I called in sick and spent the day curled under my duvet. I had some homemade stew left and ate a little of that but mostly I drank lots of tea.

Today, I’m back at work…I feel better than yesterday…but I can feel the heaviness of being ill. I can’t really afford to take another sick day so I’m as bright and bushy tail as someone with a head cold can be.
All for now.

Peace,
L~
P.S.  I'm putting below The Lumineers' video of Ho Hey.  It's a sweet song that's grown on me so enjoy!! 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Baracuda--Heart

In keeping with the homage to Heart, I’m putting up Baracuda. Yay!!
Ann Wilson can wail!! I can’t stop listening to their music.
A bit of good news, I scored tickets to see Heart in concert on October 3rd. I’m stoked!!!

Let's see, I’ve also hit my 3 pm slump. Ergh. I had a choice between a small Dove dark chocolate and a Fuji apple. Yep, you guessed it, chocolate it is. No guilt, just yum. Plus a large mug of tea.

I took a late break and managed to sit out by the fountain at Bryant Park. The place was packed with tourists and workers alike. After about ten minutes dark rain clouds started rolling in so I scurried back to work. I thought the fresh air would wake me up a bit…hmmm, didn’t quite work that way. Instead I feel sleepy and I’ve been staring without seeing for the past ten minutes letting myself daydream a little.

I finally thought, “right, I need to do something.” and began with this bit of freewriting. Perhaps inspiration will hit me somewhere within these lines. Goodness…guess that’s not working either.
I’ll end it there for now.

Ciao,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

HEART Rocks!

How shall I begin this entry today? It’s a gorgeous bright, windy, fall day and I am bursting with lots of lovely, bubbly energy. I love this time of year…the humidity is being taken over by windier days and I can wear a light jacket. Yum!

I am putting up a video of one of my favorite female rock bands: HEART
With Ann's voice and Nancy's playing you can't go wrong.  I heard that they are coming out with a new album on October 2 called FANATIC. Can it be true?! Say it’s so!! Very excited indeed!! Can’t wait!! Okay, have I put up enough exclamation points…can’t help the enthusiasm. They are killer musicians and you know what I’m like with rockers. ;-)

Let’s see…I’m still reading about Patricia Highsmith’s life and she feels like a kindred spirit…bendito. Her tragic love affairs, the ups and downs with her creative life, her bouts with drinking and depression…yep, I can relate to this woman very well. I am mid-way through a 400+ page biography.

Reading about her work, her process, has helped me to navigate through a rough sketch of an idea for another novel. I think I made mention of it sometime last week. I worked on it last night and put in another 1,000+ words down. It’s rough and I’ll try not to judge it. The story is about a married man’s obsession over a female co-worker. I sketched out a couple of chapters so far, nothing major. Not sure where it’s going yet but trying to stay with it, without throwing it out. For the first time, I’m not writing in a linear way. I am moving only from one major incident to the next. How I’ll tie it together, I’m not quite sure yet but it’ll figure itself out.

I’m also still working on Indigo although that seems to be going much slower. The plotting out is a bit grueling. Perhaps, I need to sketch out the rest of the novel as a way of thinking through the next couple of chapters. I know where I want it to end, just not sure how I’m going to get there from where I am 1/3 of the way through this novel. Ergh! I have three months to finish this draft. I can feel the deadline breathing down my neck. Then I’ll put in a drawer for a month before I start going through the revising process.

Last bit, I took a walk around Bryant Park during my lunch break and they were shooting an episode of Person of Interest. Jim Caviezel (one of the lead actors) was standing there running lines with someone and he was looking dapper in his tailored suit. Do people say dapper anymore? Anyway there’s the word in black and white and very appropriate indeed.

Anyway, that’s all for now.

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

I am in a mood today.  Not sure where it's coming from or what's bothering me at the moment, but I'm in a bit of a snit.  The thing is I don't have anything to complain about at the moment.  I've addressed some issues that have popped up (for a change, instead of letting them fester), I've reached out to friends for support and advise (check), cooked healthy foods for myself (check), taken walks to clear my head (check).  So where is the funky stink mood coming from?  Ergh!! 
 
I've tried some retail therapy but that hasn't work out lately.  I've bought three pairs of shoes in the last three months only to return them as soon as I get them home.  My flat Sasquash feet don't fit into anything pretty.  And since I'm not 20 anymore...wearing dr. marten's with dresses just doesn't look right. *sigh* 

I've lost 16 lbs up until last week and today I'm back up 3 lbs...*frustrating*  My sister says she can see the weight loss...unfortunately, I don't.  * grumble, grumble *

I have an idea for another story about desire and obsession.  Last night, I sat down at my desk to quickly sketch out the story.  It was just to get down the overall idea. But somewhere between sketching out the idea, my direction changed and I was trying to block out the story and the writing was just terrible.  Big clunky phrasing that reminded me of undergraduate work. I balled everything up and threw it out.  I'll have to go back tonight and fish it out of the wastepaper basket...in hopes of salvaging the idea itself.  I'm frustrated with writing lately.  It's like holding a finger down on a bruise.  It hurts but I can't help but do it, write, that is.  I know there are hills and valleys to my process...just sometimes wish there were more peaks than troughs.  Maybe that is where the mood is coming from...wanting the writing to be better than what it is currently. 

On the bright side, today is Friday.  I'm having dinner with my sister and her boyfriend at one of our favorite Korean restaurants.  Yummy Kimchi and Dolsot BiBamBop, can't wait.  I think I'll walk around Bryant Park a couple of times during my lunch break to help with the funky mood.  It's a warm, bright day...I may as well take it in before winter sets in.  
I'm not in the mood to work (day job) today. Instead, I just want to pile everything up in the corner of my desk and try my hand at that story again.  See if I can piece together the impulse with the act of writing. Wish me luck. 

All for now,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Lianne La Havas at The Bowery Ballroom (Sep 11, 2012)

I went to see the Lianne La Havas last night at The Bowery Ballroom and she was phenomenal!! I loved her vibe and the way she flirted with her audience. She wore a black velvet bolero jacket with gold thread and a short leather skirt with black platform shoes. I was up in the balcony…yay! so I could actually see her act without getting squished. The music was sensational and listening to her live actually made me well up with an abundance of soppy emotions. The sadder the ballad, the bigger the well-up of tears yet it was cathartic. There were a few songs where the audience sang along with her and the energy could barely be contained in the place. There was a couple of audience members right in front of the stage that was jamming and grooving so hard…that their energy was infectious. Her last song of the night was Is Your Love Big Enough. Hoorah! Last but not least, her band mates were on point. Her drummer is fierce. After the concert, I walked up along the Bowery, and the street was dark and the night was cool and I had her music inside of me. I hummed all the way to the train station in a low mellow way and it was a gorgeous night. Lovely!!

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program

Dark heavy clouds skim across the horizon.
Damp wind on a warm day does not soothe
Instead it leaves behind an oily film on one’s skin.

Anyway, I spent the weekend with family and friends having good food and decent wine. Very chilled out indeed. Of course there is always a bit of drama but for now we will forgo details since they are not mine to share...or better yet they can be used against us in a court of law. (teehee).

Moving on, went to see this really sweet and charming indie movie called Robot and Frank.  I have to admit if there is a tiny bit of sci-fi element to a movie, I want to see it. I strong-armed a friend to come with...promising a pitcher of sangria. Robot and Frank is written by Christopher Ford and directed by Jake Schreier. This movie surprised me, the humor in it was so right on that I laughed out loud quite a few times. It also has a big beating heart right smack in the middle of it that brought up a few tears up. Frank Langella and Susan Sarandon were marvelous...and it has a tiny twist that I just wasn’t expecting that raised the human element of it. Lovely. This is a debut project for both writer and director and I can’t wait to see more from them.

I finished Highsmith’s novel Deep Water, it was so intense that I had a hard time putting the book down for the last couple of chapters. I had to sneak off on tiny breaks, at work, because I wanted to know what happened next. The story was haunting and cruel. I was going to jump into yet another novel but opted instead to read Andrew Wilson’s biography on Highsmith, Beautiful Shadow. Reading about her life and her creative process both inspires me and haunts me at the same time. She wrote about herself and her work with the same impatience that I have for my own. In reading excerpt passages from her diaries, Highsmith feels like a kindred spirit. She was a voracious reader with a keen intellect who looked upon the human condition as fodder for her novels, especially when dealing with deviant behavior. She was also vastly unhappy, emotionally removed and seeking more than just peace. I am barely 100 pages into the biography and her impatience has fired up my own desperation for more time to work on my novel. Funny how that works.

All for now...skipping off to take a walk around Bryant Park.  It's a nice break to clear the cobwebs. 

Peace,

L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.