Nope

The writing did not come easily today. Booooo!  Saturday I was in the flow and I was able to get a few pages out. Today, Sunday, not so much. However, I did not berate myself for the lack of flow. Instead, I pivoted and cleaned my living space and the fridge. It helped clear my head. 

I meant to work on day job tasks this weekend but I decided to allow myself time to do other things. Instead, I baked banana muffins with chai spices. I'm trying to work out a recipe that is still not quite right. The first batch was too sweet.  This batch is better but it's missing something. I think the flour mixture is just not quite right yet but it's almost there. 

I am listening to Ben Howard's Every Kingdom album. I love his music and it has really chilled me out this afternoon. So no whinging, no crying, no tantrums, nope, just me. 

-Peace   

Saturday Morning

I've spent the past three hours working on a fiction piece. A supernatural novel that is seeing a little light of day. It feels really good to flex those muscles after a week working on logistics for my day job. I look forward to these moments and a big chunk of time where I allow the story to come out. It's all very new and I'm trying hard not let the perfectionist side of my personality get in the way. What has spurred me on, believe it or not, is reading trashy novels. The stories are so over the top and so formulaic that I could see the next string of events before they actually happen. However, what I'm gleaning from this type of fiction is the fun factor. Those novels make me laugh, or pull at my heart strings in the most unexpected ways. Escapist fantasies. 

I keep telling myself I can write this novel because I want to create some of that escapist fantasy as I build this world, as I build these characters, as I build this story up from scratch. Today, I have a real sense of accomplishment. Today, I wrote another piece of the novel. Period. Tomorrow, I will have the morning to myself to write for a couple of more hours. It really helps me. It helps my brain shift out of the stresses of day to day living. It helps my emotional side shift out of that hunger for more that resides beneath my skin.  It helps my creative side find a little bit of breathing room to play. 

My writing group is meeting next month and I'm not sure I will have new pages to present but having that deadline helps me get past my objections to sit at my desk and write. Now that the day job is moving towards a hybrid work-model, I am trying to figure out a consistent way of working on this story since my schedule changes every day. I need to carve out time first thing in the morning. I just get swept up in the writing sometimes and I may actually forget I have to physically go to work. Ha! Will have to sort myself out on that front. 

Peace,

Lily

Submission sent

It's amazing how fast time flies when hyper-focused on a task. I left work 30 minutes early to work on my Application/Submission at home. I went through the play a final time, fixed typos, changed a line or two but really kept revision to a minimum and uploaded the draft, my resume, artistic statement, references and short bio. Phew!  It's done, it's out, auto-notification indicating its been received. On to the next thing.

Now I can focus on the short story deadline coming up in 5 weeks.  Eek! Now all I have to do is write a story for it. :-p

Peace,
Lily

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2018 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Success!!

I have reached my minimum page count today. Woohoo! I'm not saying this draft is a masterpiece but I have no problem submitting this play for this application deadline. I won't lie, I am a little surprised. My muse showed up and we started at 9:30 am on this rainy Sunday morning. By noon, I crossed the 10 page mark.

Afterwards, I worked on the artist statement and a resume. I sent the draft to the people who will be my references and my sisters. I told every one to be gentle in their feedback because its the first play I've written in a while.  By 3:30 pm I was done for the day.

I haven't yet submitted all the elements to the application BUT I'll do it Monday night after work. I want to give the whole project one last pass before I submit it.  I rewarded myself with a couple of episodes of Stranger Things season 2. Yay!

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2018 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

A Solid Fifty Pages

I spent the day writing today, even with a bloody migraine.  Even with my sister stopping by with pizza and wanting to watch Stranger Things.  Man! Am I enjoying that series.  But I digress. I spent the morning writing before she got here. Then after she left, I spent the evening writing about 6.5 hours total.  I am up to 50 pages. I have 10 pages left to hit my minimum page count. I am well aware that this is a first draft. That I want to develop the piece out, flesh out the characters, delve a bit deeper...but it has good bones. At least, I hope it does.

My muse was chomping at the bit today but she grew tired when I hit 10:30 pm. She gave a big yawn and she told me to run along, we would do more tomorrow.  Then she drew her shade down around her chaise lounge and fell into a deep sleep. I'll let her rest for now...I hope she'll be able to manage a bit more tomorrow morning so I can finish this draft. Thursday is the deadline. Eek! Okay, the fear is starting to set in so I'm going to sign off before that beast is fed. 

Feel the fear and write anyway. 
Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2018 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Muse on Snooze

Today, I was unable to hit my 15-page quota, my muse hit the snooze button on me.  I managed eight pages and hit a bit of a wall. As I was writing, I was hit with a big wave of emotion. There I was typing and crying through the scene. Yes, the scene actually made me cry. Big tears streaming down my face, while tip-tapping on my keyboard. And then it stopped. Just like that. Both the emotion and the words...stopped. Screeching halt. Completely blank. I thought I could force the continuation of the scene even without the emotion but then I felt like I was slogging through the scene, trying to force the words, trying to force the scene and neither worked. Bummer! I tried to go back and figure out where it went pear-shaped but I couldn't figure out what line/what made the words stop. I took a deep breath and left it there.  Sometimes you just have to know when to let go. 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2018 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Muse - part deux

Day two: My muse was hard at work writing every line today.  I managed to get most of it down.  I'll need to read it back eventually but not yet. Today my muse gave me eighteen pages.  I thought I would try for 30 pages but my creaky back won't cooperate.  I left a note to myself on the last line of what might be next but that might change between now and when I wake up tomorrow morning.

I'm also trying to line up some references for this application. I'm hoping that I'll hear back on Monday if I can use their names/contact. I'm hopped up on the flow of creative juices.  I'm not sure what to do next but feeling very satisfied with my progress.  Ooo did I just jinx myself.  Nah! I'm good.  I'm going to make myself some Earl Grey Tea and break open one of the new books I've bought last night. I need something light and refreshing to cleanse the palate.  Not sure if I have a book title that fits the bill quite yet.

Last thing I wanted to mention: I had a dream that I had a porcupine resting in my arms and I was petting it's quills. At one point, the porcupine began to let go of its quills because it didn't want to be in my arms anymore. But I kept him in place, passing my hand over it's quills. It was important to keep him in my arms to pet him. Don't ask me why...it was a strange dream. Anyway, the quills would enter the flesh of my arms creating this sharp sensation of pain and pleasure. At one point I had one of the quills under my chin and when I yanked it, the barbed effect of the quill ripped the flesh into a bigger wound.  I woke up with a start, touching my chin and arms to see if any quills were left behind. Hmmm. Interesting, right?

Okay, that's all I have for tonight. With a curtsy I bid you adieu.

L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2018 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Muse at Full Alert

It's an overcast day on this cold Saturday afternoon in February.  Brrr. I'm sitting at my desk and I showed up to the page today.  What does that mean? I have a deadline and instead of watching tv or cleaning, I chose to write. Full on. I spent the morning writing and came out with quite a few pages. I won't attach a value to it...good, bad, shitty first draft. Instead, I'm grateful for the quiet space to be able to get it done.

I'm working on a play. I'm trying to get a playwriting fellowship with a theater. This piece that I need to submit has to be 60 pages.  And it's due on March 1st. Yesterday I wrote 1.5 pages at work when I had a quiet moment. I emailed the words to my personal account and opened up that bad boy this morning and went to town.  I managed 14 pages today.  I'm glad the submission does not have to be a finished product otherwise I would have found every excuse under the sun not to even try.

Perhaps these deadlines help get me out of my stalling tactics. Now I'm in a straight up panic, writing as quickly as i can to get the idea down before my muse decides to flee the scene. Poor thing.  She's been so neglected for so long that she's like a starving artist coming up to a feast.  She wants me to keep writing but I need a break. I spent five hours working and now I need to take a long walk in the city to get my blood circulating again.

Just needed to write this quick entry first. All for now.
Peace,
L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2018 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Sunday afternoon in February

Let's see I've spent the day writing.  I've needed to work on a new scene/play for an upcoming deadline and I found that I have nothing to say. Isn't that strange? Me? Not have anything to say?  Seriously?  I didn't get anywhere with that piece.

I also worked on a couple of poetry pieces. I have one hanging in the draft mode on this blog. Not ready to pull the trigger on it yet. However, I did submit some new poetry pieces to an online magazine. I guess that's something right?

I've had the apartment to myself and I like the ability to stretch out without my roommate around.

I am sitting at my desk, sipping a big cup of hot earl grey tea, a small desk light on, looking out the window. The day is grey and dim but I'm feeling at peace with the world today. I'm listening to James Bay playing in the background.  Someone snap a pic, quick. It's def worth making a note here about it. Since most days I'm full of angst and worries over not getting enough writing done. Today, I am not. :-)  Time to go finish a journal entry and then dinner.  OM!
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2018 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

gray morning

it's a gray morning and the office is quiet. i have no idea what my workload looks like because I am too busy staring out the window watching the sky. my muse is pitching a fit, cursing me out, trying to get a rise out of me. we are not on speaking terms at the moment despite her complaints. her expectations are unrelenting and the needle on my motivation is on empty. why, you ask. ideas float around the ether above my head, swirling around, tempting me, taunting me but when it's time to pin the words down on paper i find them slipping away like mercury. it's like waking up from a vivid dream, as soon as you start thinking about the details, the story escapes out the open window, never to be heard from again. my muse cries and cries wanting attention and all i do is drink wine and smoke the evening away. she threatens to leave and i shrug my shoulders and tell her, "so leave." she undresses instead and stays the night. i am neglectful, she will leave eventually and the story will wither on the vine. it's only a matter of time.




All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2017 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

4:43 am

I am up very early...4:43 am to be exact. Had a hell of a migraine yesterday.  I'm feeling right as rain now more or less after knocking myself out with meds.  Usually I feel like a zombie, hollowed-out and unable to piece together a coherent thought.  Not today, I cranked up my laptop and started listening to some of my favorite artists: Jack White, James Bay, Ben Howard.  They are keeping me company while I write this entry out.

I went to my writing group yesterday. Didn't present work but was inspired by one of my fellow writers. Her mystery novel is coming along. She presented one chapter but it was spot on.  hoorah. we like to see that.  I need a hot shower, a strong cup of black tea and some quiet time to work on my novel. Yes, my novel is calling...better go answer it.

7:56 am
I managed 1,876 words in the last three hours.  Didn't know I had it in me but apparently this story is writing itself. My muse  had a lot to say and I was just making sure I tried to get as much of it down as possible. Anyway, after two cups of tea, it's time for some breakfast and then a shower.  My growling stomach is refusing to wait for me to take a shower first.

Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2017 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

6:29 - 7:48 pm - Sunday night

I had a productive weekend.  Managed to pack a few more boxes. Worked on the second half of a chapter. Read two chapters of Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic. My sister Vick gave me a copy and it's tickling my funny bone. Glad my sister insisted I read it.

I've been purging those bits and pieces that have accumulated in my apartment. Letting go of odds and ends.  Especially those things that haven't seen the light of day since I moved in a year and a half ago. There are a few canvas paintings that have been rolled up and stashed away that I'd like to have stretched and framed. Just need to find a place that will do it cheaply but nicely. Someone mentioned Michael's to me ...may have to check it out and see if that's possible

The next task is to go thru the paper files and throw away all the excess. As a writer, paper and books are the things that accumulate the fastest for me. It'll be good to let go of old projects that have had their day in the sun. It's time, it's time to let go and just shred the lot (more or less).

Even now I think about my friend Tony and how during one of his purges he threw out all his journals/artists journals. He regretted that move for years. I just need to slow down and try not to throw things out in an impulsive way. * deep breath *  My plan is to pack 2 or 3 boxes every night to get it done. I was going to try to push through and break down another bookshelf but my energy is flagging and I have to be at work at 7 am tomorrow.  So instead, I thought a blog entry was in order while watching the Super Bowl...go Falcons!!

Last but certainly not least...Daily Show's Trevor Noah is making some serious commentary on Trump's nominations.  I just saw his take on Betsy DeVos Trump's pick for Secretary of Education:

I laughed, I couldn't help it but I was also really crying on the inside because this administration is going to take us all the way back to the Stone Age.  I am so glad there are a few smart souls who can ask the tough questions,  Elizabeth Warren at the DeVos Senate Hearing:

I'm scared to see what Trump is going to do next but it's also making me very aware that I need to dig in and do my creative work. No more excuses.

With love,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2017 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

8:40 pm

It's strange how quickly the days go sometimes. They seem to be racing by. Time expanding and contracting. I spent the day writing. Working on Indigo. I have to submit an excerpt by next Saturday to my writing group. Gah! 5,000 words heading out tomorrow night. Just need to run through the two chapters and see if it makes sense. Tweak it and keep going.  See where this story takes me. Tomorrow I'll also need to spend some time packing. Goodness...wish me luck.

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2017 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

barely here

i've been away for a good long while, not really writing out loud on this blog but missing it all the same. part of it is the disconnected feeling after a long winter and the spring not warming my bones enough. part of it is feeling disconnected from my creative life, like a starved bear coming out from hibernation. the desperation gnaws the back of my throat, claw marks. no wonder i am so short-tempered. i'm holding back, holding it in and i can barely breathe. all i can manage are these short missives into the void.

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2016 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Indigo is not dead

I broke out Indigo again...I made up my mind to finish this project. I feel completely lost with it but I'm just going to take it one chapter at a time until I flesh out the story.  I was reading the first couple of chapters from an earlier version of it and I always loved the initial impulse.  I think I lost my way because I tended to listen to my writing group's suggestions instead of following my own path with the project.  I almost want to scrap the last version and start from the very beginning.  I did re-read some feedback from one of my readers, Ric, because I knew he read/understood the science fiction component which also went away with all the new revisions.  His feedback made me laugh out loud in the middle of a train because it was so on-point with what I was trying to achieve initially. Anyway, this story will be held close to the vest until the novel is in final form.  I just need to remember to trust my instincts and see where the story/the characters take me on this journey. If they are willing to talk to me again.  I may have severed that link but I'll give it another go and see what happens.
I'm also rethinking the title. I was walking around Barnes and Noble at Union Square today. God, I really love being in a bookstore, its really one of my happy places.  Anyway, I was skimming titles and there are too many titles out there with Indigo in the title. I'm sure I can find something else to replace it...I'll do that last, once i'm finished this project.

Peace,
L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2016 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Gone Long Enough

I've been neglecting the blog.  I know.  There is just too much happening in my life and sitting for a spell to get some of it down...well let's just say that it's easier said than done.

Big life stuff happening.

My folks sold their house in Brooklyn and left NYC to start a new chapter in Texas.  Don't ask me why.  Me and my sisters are still scratching our heads over that one but we are happy they have the resources to be able to figure that out. It's been an emotional time, seeing our childhood home sold, helping my parents sort and pack 40 years worth of stuff,  etc, etc. My mom still tears up on the phone when I talk to her.  Let's just say that change is never easy for my family.

I've moved from Windsor Terrace to Sunset Park.  I need to take advantage of the park nearby but I seem to still be in the process of figuring out where everything goes in my apartment.  After a month of being here...I think I have finally scrubbed the last of the grime that was leftover from the previous tenant. My raw hands can attest to the cleaning frenzy I've been in.

The writing is still going.  I uploaded my short story Clara Betta on here after I received another rejection.  I gotta be honest, I took that one hard.  Instead of thinking of it as just another no, I took it on as "my work is just not good enough".  It played into this very deep insecurity I have about my writing and thought...I may as well just put it up on my blog.  I'd rather an audience read and see what I do instead of trying to find a place for it in this myriad of online sites. Is it my best work?  Probably not.  It's something tho' and I'm just going to keep going...hopefully the writing will get better.

I've been working on a short play called Elena.  I've sent it off to a short play festival. Let's see if I get a bite.  It's a fairly new piece and it's already gone through several rewrites, thanks to my writing partner Christine.

It's funny I was coming down hard on myself recently because I felt like I wasn't writing enough.  And I realized that I've been journal writing, doing some loose stream-of-consciousness writing for story ideas as well working on some short projects.  I really need to loosen the crazy tyrant in my head that convinces me that I haven't been doing the work.  When quite frankly all I seem to be doing lately is work.  Both in my day job as well as my writing life.  In fact, one of the first things I enjoyed in my new apartment was making myself a strong cup of tea and working quietly for several hours without interruption.  That was like sweet nectar for the soul.  The last cheesy line can attest to how much I loved it.

Anyway, I spent the better part of Saturday at the Vet.  Poor Pandora was bleeding profusely from her mouth.  There was blood all over my duvet and the bleeding wouldn't stop.  I spent 7 hours waiting... every time the vet came out to talk to me she was giving me worst case scenarios. First she thought P may have gotten into some rat poison and she might be in the throes of liver failure after one of her blood test showed that her blood wasn't clotting.  Then they ran the test again and her blood was fine. Eesh.  I sat in the waiting room reading a book.  I wanted to distract myself from the possibility of losing her. Pandora will be 17 years old at the end of the year, she's been with me for the past 14 years.  It's crazy to fathom life without her at this point.  I know death is inevitable but I guess I'm not quite ready to face that reality.

At the end of that long day, the bleeding had stopped, they still don't know what's wrong, and I have to bring her back for a dental appointment so they can take a better look while she's under anesthesia.  It might be the root of the tooth, hopefully they won't have to pull it.  Anyway, very grateful my folks left me some cash before they headed out of town.

What's next?  A much needed vacation in Italy in October.  Can't wait.  I'm making it into a writing retreat. I'll bring a couple of projects to work on.  I'm not sure if the novel is coming with me but it's a possibility.

I think I've gone on long enough...

Peace,

Lily~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2015 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Midnight Entry

It's a quarter to midnight and I can't sleep. I am feeling antsy. Actually, I've been antsy for weeks and I didn't know why.  It finally hit me...at the beginning of the year I had given myself a deadline to fully revise my novel by my birthday.  Next week is my birthday and I am NO WHERE with this freakin' novel. I am ready to throw in the towel burn it and call it quits on this project despite the fact that scenes still play in the back of my brain.  My manuscript and it's many many revisions are sitting on a shelf over my desk collecting dust.  Even now I  can see it in my peripheral vision while I write this entry. The reality is I don't know what to do with it.  I don't know how to enter the piece any more, how I would go about making changes, or what's it all for really.  I've lost my initial impulse, that loving feeling, that je ne se quoi.  It feels like damaged goods and I'm not really sure I can salvage the damn thing. Makes me sit at my computer and sigh...loudly.  The defeatist attitude is doing more harm than good.
Of course, it doesn't help that I spent the last two days reading about the success of a young writer recently.  I am NOT comparing myself to her...I'm really not...I can tell you don't believe me but I'm not (I say this in a very high-pitched whiny voice, even in my head)  Setting aside this young woman's success...I acknowledge that I'm published and I've produced work on different platforms. Those before projects are still real.  The fact that my new projects are "meh" at best and not very innovative makes me doubt myself and my abilities.  I know this is usually the time when it happens, right now, around my birthday.  I do this self-assessment of what am I working on, what am I excited about with my creative projects and really the only thing that I've worked on is my little Clara Betta (short story) that basically got rejected from ONE publication and I want to quit, throw in the towel, call in for a substitute, stick my head in the sand and wait for the dismay to subside.
I am VERY aware of the clock ticking to try to get as much work done before I die.  Seriously, I could walk off the sidewalk and die of an aneurysm in the middle of the street tomorrow.  Yes, I know this is morbid...I'm Mexican, bear with me here...the point is I don't know when my last day will be but I want the writing to get better, the writing to find an audience, my work to be out in the world. * deep breath* You get my point. So the past week, I've been writing poetry.  I always go back to my first love.  I know I'm rusty, it's been some time since I've written passages but again bear with me as I work through this creative phase.

Best,

Lily


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2015 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Reluctant Writer

May was a very busy month with my sister's wedding and it looks like June will be just as crazy.  Lots of big life upheavals are happening. My folks finally put our house up on the market and we've gone through an Open House this Sunday past. Looks like we have quite the interest going for the property but that also means I need to find an apartment, like pronto.  *sigh * Another move. Again. If I think about it too long I just want to bury my head in the sand * ostrich maneuver. *

A myriad of emotions are coming up for me because I grew up in this house.  I had some crazy notion that I was going to be able to buy this house some day but that's far from reality.  I'm trying to come to terms with that reality. Quite frankly, it's too expensive for me to upkeep anyway.  Hmph.

I haven't been able to write.  I write bits and pieces of things but nothing is gelling yet.  I'm not giving myself space and quiet to let something take hold.  Which is frustrating. I continue to journal in hopes that the act of writing out what's going on in this head will make some room for the creative stuff to come through.  But really the trouble is I'm quite blank.  A bit exhausted to be quite honest. I am turned off, tuned out, disconnected from that inner voice.  Writer's Block: When the voices in your head stop talking.  Yep, that's what's happening right now.  Double Hmph.

I've been reading. A LOT.  One of the few things I still get pleasure from and I can lose myself in the writing.  I've tried to write a blog or two on the books I've been reading but it's been hard to keep up since I seem to be devouring titles at the moment.  I finally finished Kathy Koja's Mercury Waltz.  It was quite the feat to finish that one. Despite the fact that Koja is one my favorite writers...this was by far the hardest book for me to read and follow.  It took me two-thirds way through the novel to finally understand what she was doing, jumping from scene to scene.  I may have to read it again some day but for now it's my least favorite book in her collection.

What else? I received my rejection letter from Carve magazine for my short story, Clara Betta.  I turned it around, worked for two solid days revising the piece and sent the story into a contest.  I had to whittle it down from 8,800 words down to 6,000 words.  It was no easy feat but I managed to get the word count down. I feels like I may have whittled it down too close to the bone but I had C. read the piece to make sure I didn't damage the story too much. With her thumbs up, I sent it out again.  Afterwards, drinks to soothe the sting of rejection. I'm going to keep sending it out to see if I can land it somewhere.  The other option is to put it up in my itty-bitty blog in two-parts.  Hmm.  At the end of the day, I just want folks to read my writing.

I've also seen a few films: Ex-Machina, Gemma Bovery, Far from the Madding Crowd.  All decent flicks.  My favorite of the three was the French film Gemma Bovery.  It was far funnier than I imagined. A film by Anne Fontaine.  The lead actress Gemma Arterton was perfect for this role.  

Yep, so this what I do when I don't write...
That's all I have for now.  
Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2015 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Catch Up Post - 04.18.15

It's been very busy the last couple of weeks both with the day job and on the personal side.  On the day job, my department moved buildings.  Not a small task and really after a long day...I've been going home to decompress which means very little creative time set aside.  Leaving me a bit grumpy away from work. It's trying to find my center again every single day.  Things are finally starting to slow down which means I can focus on the writing.

I spent the morning tweaking a 10-minute play I wrote last month.  Tweaking mean no crazy revision.  It's changing a line or two.  Oh wait, I did delete 3.5 pages so maybe this does count as a revision.  It felt good to get back to my work.

I also managed to clear my desk-FINALLY.  It's amazing how quickly things pile up. And for some reason every scrap of paper I've come to contact seems to naturally gravitate to my desk top. I can think now that I've sorted out the mess in my room. It's been a thorn in my brain looking at it every single day for the past couple of months.

I am still waiting to hear back from Carve Magazine to see if they have accepted my short story Clara Betta.  I made up my mind that if they decide NOT to publish it, I'm going to go ahead and post it on my blog as a three-part entry.  Just need to hear back.  Ergh.  Next month will  be the 6 month mark.  Maybe I'll submit it to The New Yorker.  See if they'll pick up my story. One can dream, no?  Getting published in The New Yorker has been one of my goals since my early 20s.  I think I need to revisit some of my life goals and make some adjustments...The New Yorker will remain until I can tick it off.

What else, what else?  Today, I am throwing my sister's Bridal Shower.  It will be a Spa day and then dinner at Dos Caminos on Park Avenue.  It's a small group of ten women. G*d help me.  I am looking forward to it and I hope my sister enjoys herself.  Wish me love and luck.  Cause I could use a bit of both in equal measure.

I'm off to find myself a bit of lunch...

Peace,

Lily~
 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2015 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Saturday Torch Light

I've carried a torch for someone for the past umpteen years and every Valentine's Day I spend the day pining after someone who's made another life for them self with someone else.  Every year I let go again. Intellectually, I know what the reality is and I have made peace with it in my own way. Sometimes it's a thin veneer.  The underlying beating heart of that truth delves far deeper.  It looks into the dark abyss.  It's been a slow methodical process to get to a different head space.  Some days are more successful than other days.  I am not writing this to be pitied. Trust me, I have enough self-pity to last me several lifetimes. I am writing this entry because I've been thinking a lot about the way I love. Why have I held onto someone for so long when we've had at best perhaps a handful of days together?  The fantasy far exceeds the reality.

Of course, when I am most desperately struggling with my creative writing, the obvious choice is to gravitate to the fantasy as a place to lose myself in for a couple of hours, days, weeks.

This morning, I did not want to rouse myself from sleep.  My head was pounding with a relentless migraine and all I could do was curl up and sleep half the day away. It is now late afternoon on a Saturday and I've managed to revise a 10-minute play and send it out to my writing group, get some laundry done, pick up Pandora's meds from the vet, buy a couple of steak tacos and now I'm writing this entry. I still have cleaning chores to take care of...I need to start with Pandora's litter box.  God! how I hate to clean it but it must be done.  Otherwise, I'll have a pile of poop waiting outside of the box as she protests using it even one day more unless I clean it. There is also a stack of papers, receipts and bills waiting to be sorted, paid and put away.  And a bottle of saki on my desk waiting to be opened. If I open that bottle now, nothing else will be done today.

I've been reading Karl Ove Knausgaard's, My Struggle, Book 1 and I am hooked on his writing. It's autobiographical but it's labelled as fiction. Autobiographical Fiction?  He makes the details of his life feel epic in nature.

Perhaps that's why I started this entry the way I did. Carrying a torch for someone for all those years has been a bit of a folly on my part.

I think it's time to find myself a new activity, preferably something physical to get this restless energy out of my system. Spring is right around the corner and I think I want to take up sailing.  I love being in the water and I could use something bright and beautiful to look forward to. I've gone on for way too long now. I still have not made up my mind on what to do next but... c'est la vie.

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2015 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.