Gone Long Enough

I've been neglecting the blog.  I know.  There is just too much happening in my life and sitting for a spell to get some of it down...well let's just say that it's easier said than done.

Big life stuff happening.

My folks sold their house in Brooklyn and left NYC to start a new chapter in Texas.  Don't ask me why.  Me and my sisters are still scratching our heads over that one but we are happy they have the resources to be able to figure that out. It's been an emotional time, seeing our childhood home sold, helping my parents sort and pack 40 years worth of stuff,  etc, etc. My mom still tears up on the phone when I talk to her.  Let's just say that change is never easy for my family.

I've moved from Windsor Terrace to Sunset Park.  I need to take advantage of the park nearby but I seem to still be in the process of figuring out where everything goes in my apartment.  After a month of being here...I think I have finally scrubbed the last of the grime that was leftover from the previous tenant. My raw hands can attest to the cleaning frenzy I've been in.

The writing is still going.  I uploaded my short story Clara Betta on here after I received another rejection.  I gotta be honest, I took that one hard.  Instead of thinking of it as just another no, I took it on as "my work is just not good enough".  It played into this very deep insecurity I have about my writing and thought...I may as well just put it up on my blog.  I'd rather an audience read and see what I do instead of trying to find a place for it in this myriad of online sites. Is it my best work?  Probably not.  It's something tho' and I'm just going to keep going...hopefully the writing will get better.

I've been working on a short play called Elena.  I've sent it off to a short play festival. Let's see if I get a bite.  It's a fairly new piece and it's already gone through several rewrites, thanks to my writing partner Christine.

It's funny I was coming down hard on myself recently because I felt like I wasn't writing enough.  And I realized that I've been journal writing, doing some loose stream-of-consciousness writing for story ideas as well working on some short projects.  I really need to loosen the crazy tyrant in my head that convinces me that I haven't been doing the work.  When quite frankly all I seem to be doing lately is work.  Both in my day job as well as my writing life.  In fact, one of the first things I enjoyed in my new apartment was making myself a strong cup of tea and working quietly for several hours without interruption.  That was like sweet nectar for the soul.  The last cheesy line can attest to how much I loved it.

Anyway, I spent the better part of Saturday at the Vet.  Poor Pandora was bleeding profusely from her mouth.  There was blood all over my duvet and the bleeding wouldn't stop.  I spent 7 hours waiting... every time the vet came out to talk to me she was giving me worst case scenarios. First she thought P may have gotten into some rat poison and she might be in the throes of liver failure after one of her blood test showed that her blood wasn't clotting.  Then they ran the test again and her blood was fine. Eesh.  I sat in the waiting room reading a book.  I wanted to distract myself from the possibility of losing her. Pandora will be 17 years old at the end of the year, she's been with me for the past 14 years.  It's crazy to fathom life without her at this point.  I know death is inevitable but I guess I'm not quite ready to face that reality.

At the end of that long day, the bleeding had stopped, they still don't know what's wrong, and I have to bring her back for a dental appointment so they can take a better look while she's under anesthesia.  It might be the root of the tooth, hopefully they won't have to pull it.  Anyway, very grateful my folks left me some cash before they headed out of town.

What's next?  A much needed vacation in Italy in October.  Can't wait.  I'm making it into a writing retreat. I'll bring a couple of projects to work on.  I'm not sure if the novel is coming with me but it's a possibility.

I think I've gone on long enough...

Peace,

Lily~

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