Hello Out There...Is This Mic On?

It's been awhile since I last wrote on this blog. I could make up all sorts of excuses but I'll spare you the list of reasons. Let's start with a clean slate, shall we?  It's been ten years since I started this web log. As I write these words, I keep stopping to take inventory on what I want to write next. I have the song Girl Crush by Little Big Town playing in the background. It's a simple song but it makes me ache. It reminds me that this cold dead heart of mine still has a little life in her yet.

It's been raining and snowing on this cold January day and I've been home with a bit of a migraine. Darn thing sneaks up on me sometimes. Oh wait...Sade is playing now...nope, can't listen to her tonight. I've changed it over to Sam Smith's, Stay With Me.

What have I been up to?  Let's see, I'm working on an application for a Fiction grant.  Ergh. Deadline is next week and I'm almost done with the package.  All I have left to do is upload the materials to the site. I can't do it today because migraines leave me loopy and I always make the oddest mistakes. I'm holding off until I'm a bit more clear headed. Tomorrow might be a better day.

I think I wrote about my escapist fantasies late last year and it keeps popping up for me.  The one where I cash out my 401K and go traveling. Of course, I start thinking about the "stuff" in my apartment and I think, could I do it?  Could I really pick up my life and go exploring? My gypsy soul is definitely singing that tune. I know what it is...it's a real visceral need to shake up my life.  I get too comfortable and I want MORE...I want something else...I want to FEEL something more. Instead of living this lukewarm existence.

Let's see...I've booked my airline ticket and hotel to Paris. I've wanted to go to France since I was 16 years old. Even the thought of the trip has me doing cartwheels in my head. Haha. See...that's what happens when I start thinking of traveling....it's my happy place.

Here are some of my most recent recommendations:
Music:  I'm still obsessed with Johnnyswim.  I went to hear them play last month and they were fantastic live.

Movie: Shape of Water by Guillermo Del Toro

Sci-fi show: Travelers on Netflix

Books:  I've read a slew of books on my hiatus but the best one had to be The Reader by Bernhard Schlink. The story stayed with me long after I put that book down.

That's all for now, I will write more soon.
Peace,
L~

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All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2018 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Is It Over Yet?

It's been a very busy month.  As I've written in previous entries, I've been helping my dad renovate the bathroom.  It's been one day after another of running new pipes, laying down a new floor, tiling walls and floor, grouting and cleaning grout off the rest of the tiles and we have four more days left to finish.  Left to-do is priming and painting the walls, plus installing the new sink cabinet.  Tonight I have the night off.  Which is why I'm finally writing an entry. And really all I have to say is I'm tired.  I almost see the light at the end of the tunnel but there is so much left to do before we're done.  Not to mention that we've had setbacks throughout. Yesterday afternoon, my dad accidentally left a valve open on the boiler and flooded out three rooms There are boxes of old letters and journals that were soaked solid, so I have to go through them and throw whatever is not salvageable. Weekend project. Ergh.

Books--I recently finished Kate Wilhelm's, Where Late the Sweet Birds Sang. A novel about an isolated post holocaust community determined to preserve itself through cloning. This is an amazing hard science fiction novel and what makes my jaw drop about this story is that it was first written in 1976.  Historically the idea of cloning can date back to the late 1800's. This novel however takes a look at the social implications of cloning within the confines of this separatist community. I've been trying to decide on whether to keep this book on my shelf or if I should just gift it away. Lately, as I finish reading novels I've been leaving them on subway benches for others to pick up. I'm on the fence. The idea that I'll be moving in the next year makes me more likely to gift it away.  Less books will really save my creaky back from having to cart more boxes to yet another apartment.

I just started reading Sarah Waters latest novel, The Paying Guests. I really love the way she writes. It's a total pleasure read and I've been carting this 500+ page novel from home to work and back.

That's all I have for now.

Best,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2014 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Bittersweet Love

Lots went on the last week and a half.  Highlights are long overdue.
On Monday, July 29th- I took the day off from work and went to see Ben Howard in concert in Central Park. Super performance and I enjoyed every minute.  His music is just really laid back and groovy.  He had a few up-tempo songs that sounded amazing live. But mostly I was there to enjoy his steady grounded vibe. I opted not to stand in the pit so I could actually enjoy the music.  I'm uploading a video from YouTube (recorded by R. Ridder) singing Old Pines. Lovely.

On Saturday, I took my niece to see Wolverine.  I really must have been in the mood to see this movie because I loved the highly stylized martial arts in this film.  There were a couple of scenes that were so over the top that I couldn't help but roll my eyes...like the chase on the high speed train...but for the most part I enjoyed it as summer fare.

Today, I re-read Annie Proulx's short story Brokeback Mountain. As much as I love the movie, I love the actual short story even more. She captures tender moments so well that it physically makes me ache with longing. The language condensed but it speaks volumes. There is one paragraph in the story when Jack is thinking back over his time with Ennis.  Ennis wraps an arm around Jack...that moment makes my throat raw with unshed emotion. Even now as I think about it...my throat tightens up with the bittersweetness of the multi-layers of love in its purest form. This story is just so beautiful.

All for now....

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Writing vs. Laundry

11:30 am on Saturday and I am procrastinating on writing with laundry. Even writing this blog entry is about not working on my novel. Ergh! It's that thing that I need to work on but it feels like work so I'm avoiding.  This week I've been distracted with life, concerts, dating, poetry readings and now I'm trying to catch up with myself. Good thing, right?

The problem with catching up with myself is that all those feelings that I've been distracting myself from are now sitting in the forefront. They are just feelings and they will pass but breaking off with my last gf has left me feeling shitty. I just miss her company.  Bleck!!  :-P
Am I using this "feeling shitty" as an excuse not to write?  Damn Skippy!

I finished reading Barbara Kingsolver's Flight Behavior.  God! She's such an amazing writer and altho' I did not like her last title Lacuna...this book..this book...was magic.  These are her opening lines to Flight Behavior:

A certain feeling comes from throwing your good life away, and it is one part rapture. Or so it seemed for now, to a woman with flame-colored hair who marched uphill to meet her demise.  Innocence was no part of this.  She knew her own recklessness and marveled, really, at how one hard little flint of thrill could outweigh the pillowy, suffocating aftermath of a long disgrace.  

There are moments in this book that broke me open, dug into the middle of my chest and crushed the air out of my lungs.  The suffocating emotions she evoked were carved out of this stark small town landscape and the monarch butterflies were the catalyst to Dellarobia Turnbow's transformation.  Kingsolver has a way of crushing together hard science, the natural world and the human species into a tangible relationship. Beautifully written. I found myself choking back unexpected tears.

Okay, enough procrastinating.  Time to face my novel.
Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Soggy Monday

July 1st. Monday. The day is wet and overcast and I am feeling soggy. My mood seems to be joining in with the weather.

On reading--Last week, I finished reading Neil Gaiman's new novel, The Ocean at the End of the Lane.  It was quite wonderful and there is this one moment, when I felt the writer looking into the abyss and the abyss looking back. It gave me goosebumps. It swallowed that book whole, I couldn't put it down. I admire his craft of writing.

On writing--I have to trust myself with my work...go out on that limb called faith...'cause right now I seem to be shying away from the writing. I spent last Friday writing up all my post-it notes for Indigo into a two-page cheat sheet to help keep me straight on characters and back stories. And there are so many holes...I'm afraid I am trying to plug the holes up while the dam is ready to break open. I seem to be continuing on the being all wet analogy.

On movies--Okay, I also went to see Much Ado About Nothing by my favorite writer/director, Joss Whedon.  It was really entertaining to see his modern version of this play in movie form. I'm not sure if it all of it worked but it was great to see so many actors from his previous shows join him in this venture.  I loved Nathan Fillion...he made me laugh the hardest but I think that was supposed to happen.  And Amy Acker as Beatrice really worked for me (she needs to be in a lot more movies) but I found Alexis Denisof's portrayal of Benedick a bit lackluster...with the exception of that one moment when he's working out and spouting his monologue. The act of working out helped his delivery of those lines. I really loved Denisof in Buffy and Angel and I wanted him to be funnier I guess.

On television--Lastly, Ray Donovan finally started on Sunday night on Showtime.  LOVE Liev Schrieber in this show...but more importantly Katherine Moennig is playing his assistant Lena. This woman is hot and I like her kick back acting vibe. God bless the working lesbians out (of the closet) in Hollywood!!

Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Sleeping in Flame passage

As promised,

“Twenty-four carat love. I think it’s easy to find the ingredients for love, but then it depends on how you mix them. There’s so much work involved…First you have to understand and accept. Then, you have to be best friends, always. Work on overcoming what they don’t like in you. Be bighearted when it’s so much easier to be small… Sometimes the spark for real love is there from the beginning. But too many people mistake that spark for a flame they think will last a long time. That’s why so many human fires go out. You have to work so hard at real love.”

Jonathan Carroll
Sleeping in Flame

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Bury Me Monday

This morning I woke up to a paw smack to my face, I have a slight scratch over my lip as evidence. My cat Pandora was impatient for me to wake up. She made it a point to wake me up. And after her vet visit on Saturday morning, she was still “getting me back.” After I fed her at some ungodly hour, I went back to bed. I was in the in-between state of sleeping and waking and I just really didn’t want to get up to go to work. The shades were drawn and my bed was warm and I just wanted to bury myself under my duvet.

On Saturday, I managed to meet my sister to see the movie, Stoker. It was intense but really well done. Mia Wasikowska is amazing in it. This young woman is captivating. I loved her as Helen in Albert Nobbs, she was haunting in Jane Eyre, and now as India Stoker…well she gave me creepy chills. There is something unsettling about her steady gaze. I have yet to see her in Alice in Wonderland with Johnny Depp. Nicole Kidman and Matthew Goode are both eerily disturbing as well and you can’t help watch the story unfold. Stoker is definitely worth seeing.

I’ve also finished reading Jonathan Carroll’s Sleeping in Flames this morning. Oh man, his writing is delicious. He has this passage on love that I want to share but I’ve been having a hell of time finding it again. I keep looking for the passage and I must skim right by them over and over again because I've come up empty. When I do, I’ll copy it line by line and put it up on this blog as a separate entry. Reading his work, makes me want to write more stories. His work inspires me to better at my craft. I’ve only just begun. Must read more by him.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program

Dark heavy clouds skim across the horizon.
Damp wind on a warm day does not soothe
Instead it leaves behind an oily film on one’s skin.

Anyway, I spent the weekend with family and friends having good food and decent wine. Very chilled out indeed. Of course there is always a bit of drama but for now we will forgo details since they are not mine to share...or better yet they can be used against us in a court of law. (teehee).

Moving on, went to see this really sweet and charming indie movie called Robot and Frank.  I have to admit if there is a tiny bit of sci-fi element to a movie, I want to see it. I strong-armed a friend to come with...promising a pitcher of sangria. Robot and Frank is written by Christopher Ford and directed by Jake Schreier. This movie surprised me, the humor in it was so right on that I laughed out loud quite a few times. It also has a big beating heart right smack in the middle of it that brought up a few tears up. Frank Langella and Susan Sarandon were marvelous...and it has a tiny twist that I just wasn’t expecting that raised the human element of it. Lovely. This is a debut project for both writer and director and I can’t wait to see more from them.

I finished Highsmith’s novel Deep Water, it was so intense that I had a hard time putting the book down for the last couple of chapters. I had to sneak off on tiny breaks, at work, because I wanted to know what happened next. The story was haunting and cruel. I was going to jump into yet another novel but opted instead to read Andrew Wilson’s biography on Highsmith, Beautiful Shadow. Reading about her life and her creative process both inspires me and haunts me at the same time. She wrote about herself and her work with the same impatience that I have for my own. In reading excerpt passages from her diaries, Highsmith feels like a kindred spirit. She was a voracious reader with a keen intellect who looked upon the human condition as fodder for her novels, especially when dealing with deviant behavior. She was also vastly unhappy, emotionally removed and seeking more than just peace. I am barely 100 pages into the biography and her impatience has fired up my own desperation for more time to work on my novel. Funny how that works.

All for now...skipping off to take a walk around Bryant Park.  It's a nice break to clear the cobwebs. 

Peace,

L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

I went to see Cosmopolis written and directed by David Cronenberg. I wish I had something to say about it but I didn’t get it. I was lucky enough to get a free movie ticket to see it so I stayed until the end, because I was waiting for the story arc to reveal something masterful. Ergh. Was I dead wrong. It was a movie that was preaching to itself all the way through. I also stayed because my brother Bleu actually paid and he wasn’t leaving but we sat across each other at dinner with blank faces. We tried talking about it but really the words that kept coming out of our mouths were along the lines of “WTF was that?!” or “I don’t get it.” This was a movie that had expository writing the whole way through, so much so that I wanted some of them to shut the hell up. At the end of the film, someone in the audience clapped his hands…I think he was clapping because it was finally over. Or perhaps he thought it was genius….perhaps…but I think I missed the point of it. Oh and I cannot believe Cronenberg actually had Juliette Binoche writhing on the floor of a limo. Seriously?!

Now I am a huge fan of David Cronenberg and I know he has a strong inclination towards the obscure, which is mostly fine so long as I can follow a thread, some semblance of logic or illogic. His works like Crash (1996), History of Violence (2005) and Eastern Promises (2007) to name a few are complex and intelligent films.

Cosmopolis is a total miss for me. Both the subject matter (financial capitalist enterprise) and the storytelling kept everything at the surface level. When we reached the conclusion of the film, I could care one whit about Erik Packer (the protagonist). And his impending death was both trite and obvious. *big yawn*

Now I wish I had gone to see the latest Bourne flick. Mainstream candy. No nutritional value.
OH WAIT!! On a more positive spin

The History Channel ran a repeat of the Hatfield and McCoys mini-series…and that was really well done. Holy Hell!! The cast was fantastic. And I have a new found respect for Kevin Costner. There has  only been one movie that he was really good in: Dances with Wolves. Everything else *shrug* just didn’t make an impact BUT Costner was nuanced in this performance. So very glad I was able to catch it this time around.

Last bit, I think I mentioned earlier that I was reading Patricia Highsmith’s The Price of Salt and that I love her writing. I hit up a very good friend with an extensive library and wrangled up six more titles to read. So I’ve been reading The Talented Mr. Ripley and I’m finding the story gripping…because Highsmith knows how to create tension within a character. She does it so well that I could feel the neurotic temperament of Tom Ripley. Hoorah!

Okay, I’m off to work on my own writing.

Peace,


L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

First Cuts are the Hardest

I finally finished reading the novel Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I’ve been reading it in small jags on the train to and from work. A fiction work based on actual events of the internal conflict in Nigeria in the early 70’s. The story was raw because it addressed the massacres of the Igbo people during that time. It was not an easy read but it helped paint a picture in my head about how people live and get by in a time of war.

Having lived in the States most of my life, I have not seen war up close. Conflicts have always taken place in other countries. And although 9/11 was a tragedy, it does not constitute a war time reality. As I write my novel, I am trying not to sensationalize a rebellion. In fact, I am thinking about the day to day grind of living through an extended war in the States, in the distant future. What would that look like? What are the sounds? Who would survive? How would people live? At one point, I had a group of scavengers enter the picture but it started to go down the path of a zombie movie and that’s not really what I’m trying to create with this science fiction story. That section will be axed shortly. So Half of a Yellow Sun has helped create a mental image of what the states might look like if we were caught up in an extended internal conflict. I’m hoping to depict it a gritty naturalistic way.

My wheels are spinning and I just need some traction to get going on revisions. The first cuts are always the hardest so I plan on working on those tonight.

I also wanted to make a quick mention of an interesting sci-fi movie I watched last night called Code 46 (2004). The premise revolves around genetic engineering and IVF. And how human cloning had gotten to the stage where people needed to get genetically tested before they could be permitted to have sex because they could potentially have too many genetic markers in common. Tim Robbins and Samantha Morton are the leads…and I love them both in this film. At times, the film gets a bit esoteric regarding fate and destiny but the science and politics of control over sexual desire is really quite fascinating. If you have Netflix, you can stream this movie until Friday (4/1/11).

Peace,

Lily~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.