Jackson Pollock - Retro at MOMA

I took a trip to the MOMA on this damp grey December day.  They have a Pollock retrospective that I've wanted to see since November. What amazing work!! I've had a bit of a soft spot for this particular artist for quite some time now and every time I think that reverie will finally subside...I have a moment/an encounter with his work. I looked over his earlier work, it's decent and well worth a look-see but when his work started changing to the drip technique, that's when the music started to come out in his work.  I stood in front of the larger pieces and took it in as a whole piece and then took it in section by section.  His pieces surprise me.  There is a moment when the black and white paint blossom together but keep the edges too.  There is a moment when a red streak is intersected with a black stripe it's hard to describe how my skin tingles and the goosebumps i get because I am looking at genius work.  It's painting in pure form and that's what I LOVE about it.  I looked for an image to put on with this  entry but really his work can't be experienced in miniature form...it needs to be seen in actual scale to take it in fully. I get that his work isn't for everyone.  But all you have to do is really look at the large scale piece and let the crowds melt into the background and open your being to understand how connected Pollock was to the flow of Life/ to the Universe. His work reminds me to keep going, to continue to write in hopes of getting the work in a better place.  I am inspired.  


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2015 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Sunday Solstice

I am very grateful for a sweet co-worker who sent me the following Neil Gaiman link. I've been struggling with my writing and my place in the world because of it.  Gaiman's words were soul-nourishing.  I don't say this lightly, I felt myself tearing up as I read his words. The fact that this co-worker sent me Gaiman related writing and it hit so close to home...well let's just say it leaves me a bit lost for words. I want to write more but it won't capture the depth of gratitude I feel at the moment.  Anyway, Friday I felt really lucky to be alive.

Anyway, today I spent the day taking care of laundry and packing whatever I can. I don't have too much left to pack.  Mostly clothes, toiletries, odds and ends. I could probably pack up the rest in a couple of hours.  Now all I have to do is land an apartment. I am grateful for the apartment coming my way.  It's been awhile since I've had a place all to myself...it's gonna be good no matter where I end up!!  * big cheesy smile *

Is there more?  Probably but I've written the most important parts down for now.
Peace,
L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2015 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Women or Nothing - Ethan Coen

On Saturday, I went to see Ethan Coen's play, Women or Nothing playing at Atlantic Theater Company, Linda Gross Theater. The play is about a lesbian couple who decide they want a child so desperately that they will pick a co-worker to sleep with to make it happen. The writing is quick and funny and at times it made me laugh so hard that I could hardly hear the next lines. Some of the monologues went too long but for the most part they held their own.

Now as far as the story arc is concerned, that's a little more problematic for me. I don't think the story needed the mother to come into the mix.  Although Deborah Rush as Dorene was funny...I almost think Chuck's revelations (played by Robert Beitzel) could have been confessed to Laura the morning after.  It would have created a powerful intimate moment. And the revelation could have had more of a payoff because of the high expectations set up in the beginning. The stakes could even have been raised if part of the revelation was that Chuck had a vasectomy. If Coen had used that tactic, then the blow out between Laura (played by Susan Pourfar) and Gretchen (played by Halley Feiffer) could have been phenomenal. It would have given the audience a little more scope to their relationship perhaps seeing the cracks created by their decision.  All this analysis after the fact is just another possibility. My writer's brain hardly ever turns off so the critique is based on the love of the craft.

Susan Pourfar as Laura definitely played the part of high-strung creative.  At times, the affected accent was bit distracting but Pourfar's portrayal of Laura made her, by far, my favorite character. Robert Bietzel as Chuck was really well done.  I just wish he had more lines during his scene with Laura. However, his scene with Dorene was so nuanced and vulnerable that I really enjoyed his performance. Halley Feiffer as Gretchen was my least favorite character.  In her case, I think it had more to do with the way the character was written than with her acting. She seemed to be the least developed character.

My last kudos goes to set designer Michele Spadaro who created an apartment that I wanted to move into.  Women or Nothing plays until October 6th, definitely worth checking out if you're in New York City.

Peace,

Lily~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Writing vs. Laundry

11:30 am on Saturday and I am procrastinating on writing with laundry. Even writing this blog entry is about not working on my novel. Ergh! It's that thing that I need to work on but it feels like work so I'm avoiding.  This week I've been distracted with life, concerts, dating, poetry readings and now I'm trying to catch up with myself. Good thing, right?

The problem with catching up with myself is that all those feelings that I've been distracting myself from are now sitting in the forefront. They are just feelings and they will pass but breaking off with my last gf has left me feeling shitty. I just miss her company.  Bleck!!  :-P
Am I using this "feeling shitty" as an excuse not to write?  Damn Skippy!

I finished reading Barbara Kingsolver's Flight Behavior.  God! She's such an amazing writer and altho' I did not like her last title Lacuna...this book..this book...was magic.  These are her opening lines to Flight Behavior:

A certain feeling comes from throwing your good life away, and it is one part rapture. Or so it seemed for now, to a woman with flame-colored hair who marched uphill to meet her demise.  Innocence was no part of this.  She knew her own recklessness and marveled, really, at how one hard little flint of thrill could outweigh the pillowy, suffocating aftermath of a long disgrace.  

There are moments in this book that broke me open, dug into the middle of my chest and crushed the air out of my lungs.  The suffocating emotions she evoked were carved out of this stark small town landscape and the monarch butterflies were the catalyst to Dellarobia Turnbow's transformation.  Kingsolver has a way of crushing together hard science, the natural world and the human species into a tangible relationship. Beautifully written. I found myself choking back unexpected tears.

Okay, enough procrastinating.  Time to face my novel.
Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Writing Theme

Sunday. The reading yesterday really moved me.  I am so glad I went! There were some very amazing pieces. Very individual and personal stories that actually made me glad to be part of this tribe of writers. Woohoo!!

Monday. Today I spent an hour and half writing. I circled and circled around several pages because they're not working.  I wrote it out...and then wrote new sections...then crossed out big sections...then re-worked it again...and it's waiting to be typed into the manuscript.  But even as I write these words I still know it's not there yet. I'm hoping with the next pass it will begin to take better shape.  Ergh.

Tuesday.  Tomorrow I am going to see Tegan and Sara in concert.  Very excited!! I bought this tickets back in the spring and I'm finally...finally going to see them.  Very stoked!!  It's supposed to rain tomorrow and it's an outside venue so I haven't quite figured out what shoes to wear yet since I'm going directly after work. Hmmm.  Still thinking...can you smell the smoke?

That's all I've got for tonight.

Peace~
L**


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Reading...

It's 10:09 pm.   Almost the end of the day.

I finished reading Graham Joyce's new title, Some Kind of Fairy Tale.  It came out earlier this week.  It's the story about a woman, Tara Martin, who returns home after disappearing for twenty years.  When Joyce ventures into the Fey world he captures moments quite beautifully. This novel had some hits and misses for me.  Moments with thirteen year old Jack worked well.  And sad-sack Richie was handled nicely.  But the story felt uneven.  At times, it was missing some of the magic. I loved the quotes used at the beginning each chapter. When Tara becomes angry I am with her all the way and that was one of the stronger moments. I need to read more Joyce.

I'm still reading Ensouling Language. Taking it in slowly.

I've also been reading Kurt Vonnegut's Slapstick.  The story made me laugh out loud a few times while taking the train home from work.  But I've reached a point where the story went down the rabbit hole.  I'm not sure what to make of it yet.

That's all I really have for now...oh wait, one more thing...I really hate cardboard boxes.  Yep, now I'm done.

Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Pressure Against the Wall

It's Monday and I spent most of the weekend packing.  I did take a break or two but, for the most part, my life has been revolving around boxes and putting things into them for my move on the 22nd.  I have two dozen boxes packed and two bookshelves broken down plus two cd shelves tied together and ready to be hauled.  Also the contents of my filing cabinet have been emptied into a box.  Everything I own in this world is in 24 boxes.  There are still clothes to pack and toiletries to put away and my altar to be packed but that will happen the night before my move.  I haven't included the big pieces of furniture in the tally: t.v. stand, the bed and my desk.  I'm leaving behind my favorite couch, ergh.  I am trying hard not to cling to things but the more I move, the more attached I've become to my stuff. It's the Cancer Crab (astrology) in me.  It's interesting to have packed things away and now living with less stuff around.  It reminds me that I can live simply without having to burden myself with material goods.  Really what's important to me is having pen and paper, my laptop and a good book to read when I've stopped walking around in circles.

I've been reading Ensouling Language: On the Art of NonFiction and the Writer's Life by Stephen Harrod Buhner.  His text inspires me to be a better writer.  He reminds me of the magic that goes into writing.  I sometimes get stuck in the mire of slogging through my own text and think to myself, "Really?  What's the Point?" Buhner's text reminds me that writing is about putting constant pressure on that wall to ensure a breakthrough.  I am reading his book and I feel understood.  The act of writing is such a lonely art.  We sit with our work trying to get the world that is in our heads to come through in coherent passages onto the page.  And there are times when the beauty that is in our brains just doesn't  translate properly onto paper.  It's incredibly frustrating. It takes a tremendous amount of faith to be vigilant with the writing and when I flounder, get stuck in the mire of it's-just-not-good-enough mentality, a book like Ensouling Language helps light a fire with my flagging energy.  At the end of the day, writing is more important than quitting.  Finishing this novel is necessary.  I've invested three years (and counting) into this manuscript and even though I still have a long way to go with it, I can't stop now.

I'm going back to an old routine that worked for me, getting up early mornings (4:30/5:00 am) to start my day writing.  Work for two hours on the novel then get ready for work.  I need a routine in place to keep me active on this story.  This is the only way I can put constant pressure 'til I feel that breakthrough again.  It will also help me through yet another time of transition.  Is it just me or have I gone through quite a few transitions lately?  Goodness!

That's all I have for now....more later.

L~
 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Impending Mayhem

Cancun, 2006

It's been a busy week looking for a new gig.  The response is slow and that does stress me out a bit.  But next week it looks like I'm heading down to Mexico City to go visit relatives.  It's a much needed break to gain a little perspective. It's only for a week but I haven't been back in quite some time so it'll be good to connect again with my family. I may head out to Teotihuacan to visit the pyramids. It's one of my favorite places and it will help me loads.

I haven't spent any time on the novel this week.  The "not writing"is making me antsy. I've spent time journal writing but that doesn't seem to be quite enough.

Journal writing helps offset some of the stress of being out of work.  It's a place where I can bitch and whine and get that angst out of my system.  It helps me from acting out impulsively. It steadies me in the face of this new reality.  So it does help somewhat.  But it's up against that part of me that wants to be MORE productive.  Notice the capital letters...the same emphasis happens in my head.

I've been reading books and articles on a new way of looking at the world economy and taking ecological factors into the equation. Finite resources are impacting the way we think of GROWTH  in this world and there are some countries who are looking at a sustainable steady-state economics instead of a growth economy as a possibility.  It's A LOT of new information and I'm trying to take it in and process it but I have to write it out.  I want to use this new information for my next novel but how I'm going to integrate it into fiction...I'm not quite sure just yet.  Makes my stomach churn with nervous energy.  Perhaps that's what I'll start working on while I'm down in Mexico.  Just hash it out in some free-write exercises to see what comes up and out onto the page.  Oooo now I'm excited.

Anyway, I've been working at eating better and exercising more.  The healthy diet is coming along.  I've lost a couple of more lbs.  Yay! The exercising is still a bit rockier for me.  I just have an unbearable block about it.  I'll be good for a series of classes and then I quit.  No rhyme or reason...just quit.  Ergh!  It's a bit annoying.

Let's see tomorrow I'm going to be baby-sitting my nieces for the weekend.  Heaven help me!!  I have a 5 year old and a 7 year old to entertain for two days.  Eeeek!!  Hehehe.  I'm sure it will be fine. I've just finished picking up foods and snacks for them.  I also picked up a slew of markers and drawing paper so we can have some creativity time.  I keep having to remind myself that I need to pick up more children's books because they like a good story time.  Perhaps I need to go relish the quiet apartment because tomorrow it will be mayhem.

Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

April - First Week Overload

Monday— I took a day to myself and I went to see a little indie flick called Mental with a friend.  I absolutely loved Toni Collette in it.  It’s a dark comedy and I really enjoyed it.  Afterwards, we went to have drinks and just chatted the afternoon away.  I under-estimated how cold it was going to be so I was chilled to the bone.  Still, it felt good to be a bit decadent and enjoy an afternoon. 

Tuesday—I spent the day working on my novel.  After finding out that I lost pages again, I decided not to throw a pity part for myself.  I just put my head down and wrote up another 45 pages.  I didn’t even bother proofing the pages before I sent it out to my writing group.  Next Saturday is my turn to present.  Hopefully, it’s not all crap.  And even if it is…rewriting is always possible. 

Wednesday—I spent the day sending out resumes.  Job hunting is not much fun. I also broke things off with the new person I’ve been dating which was a bummer.  Definitely not my best day.  Boy, did that make me grumpy.   

Thursday—I spent the afternoon at MOMA to check out the Abstract exhibit. Overall, it was a decent collection.  For the first time, I actually appreciated Mondrian’s work.  Mostly I was reminded that Professor Horrigan really liked his work because he found it peaceful.  Isn’t it interesting how someone else’s appreciation helps you take a fresh look at a body of work. Mondrian has never been one of my favorites but I think I’m seeing his paintings with new eyes. 

There is also a beautiful blue watercolor by O’Keefe that took my breath away.  I’m attaching it here but the pic does not do the original justice. 

Blue II by Georgia O'Keefe, 1916

There were some mixed-media paintings that I found really interesting because I think layers are wonderful.   

There is also an Edvard Munch exhibit that I spent some time on.  I remember creating a lithograph very similar to the Scream.  It was amazing to study the actual piece up close. 

And of course, I sat in front of a Pollock.  It always feels like I’m visiting a friend.  As I sat there and watched visitors trying to take pics of his work, I realized that trying to capture that painting is just impossible.  Digital pics only flattens out the piece.  I sat there and took it in.  The painting definitely soothed me from my blues.

Friday—I spent the day embroidering.  Okay, this is definitely a girly girl thing to do but there was a couple of pieces in the Abstract exhibit that used embroidery as part of the medium.  I’m not very good at it but for the small piece that I’m working on it’s fine.  I wish I had smaller hoops but a 3” hoop is as small as they go.  Anyway, my fingertips hurt today from poking myself with the needle.  Argh!!  And there is blood on the cloth from the deep pokes…I’m not sure there is a way of incorporating drops of blood into the piece. Hehehe. 

Music-- I keep playing this song Open by Rhye over and over again.  It's haunting me today.  

Okay this is more than enough info for now.

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Make Good Art

Neil Gaiman gave a commencement speech back in May 2012 and I just listened to it in its entirety and I want to share it with all my creative friends out there. I love Gaiman’s writing, graphic novels, children’s books, etc, etc. In fact, I scare my small nieces with his Wolves in the Wall book…they love to be frightened. My sister hates me just a little for it because then she’s dealing with them waking up in the middle of the night with nightmares. Teehee. Auntie Lily is a bit naughty. Anyway, thought it would be a good inspirational piece for anyone who is having doubts about their creative life.  May this light a fire in your belly. 
Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.