I feel like a sunflower today trying to get the maximum amount of sun exposure as I can. It feels delish after a long grey wet winter.
Let’s see, a little good news: I’m going to be a reader for Icarus magazine. I’m very excited about this and I’ve attached their link to my blog so you can check them out. Sci-Fi rules!! I know it’ll be amazing to be part of this group. I’ve checked out their current issue and they have an interview with my favorite author Kathe Koja. Yep, I think I’m in the right place Toto.
Okay, I’ll be perfectly honest and fess up that I haven’t done much writing on my novel this week. What’s the hold up? I’m distracted. I don’t want to get into the specifics of that distraction, merely that my brain seems to be trying to work something else out, not writing related. I don’t know if I am using said subject as a way to avoid the writing or if I am genuinely moving through something. Either way, I’ve been doing a lot more journal writing. A place to kvetch and pour my liver out onto the page in all it’s bloody glory. Ick…I just grossed myself out. Is it me or does this tea taste bitter now? Oops, it’s actually the tea, I left the tea bags in there too long. Anyway, I think the journal writing helps diffuse the strangle hold…or at the very least loosen the white-knuckled grip.
All for now…peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
First Cuts are the Hardest
I finally finished reading the novel Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I’ve been reading it in small jags on the train to and from work. A fiction work based on actual events of the internal conflict in Nigeria in the early 70’s. The story was raw because it addressed the massacres of the Igbo people during that time. It was not an easy read but it helped paint a picture in my head about how people live and get by in a time of war.
Having lived in the States most of my life, I have not seen war up close. Conflicts have always taken place in other countries. And although 9/11 was a tragedy, it does not constitute a war time reality. As I write my novel, I am trying not to sensationalize a rebellion. In fact, I am thinking about the day to day grind of living through an extended war in the States, in the distant future. What would that look like? What are the sounds? Who would survive? How would people live? At one point, I had a group of scavengers enter the picture but it started to go down the path of a zombie movie and that’s not really what I’m trying to create with this science fiction story. That section will be axed shortly. So Half of a Yellow Sun has helped create a mental image of what the states might look like if we were caught up in an extended internal conflict. I’m hoping to depict it a gritty naturalistic way.
My wheels are spinning and I just need some traction to get going on revisions. The first cuts are always the hardest so I plan on working on those tonight.
I also wanted to make a quick mention of an interesting sci-fi movie I watched last night called Code 46 (2004). The premise revolves around genetic engineering and IVF. And how human cloning had gotten to the stage where people needed to get genetically tested before they could be permitted to have sex because they could potentially have too many genetic markers in common. Tim Robbins and Samantha Morton are the leads…and I love them both in this film. At times, the film gets a bit esoteric regarding fate and destiny but the science and politics of control over sexual desire is really quite fascinating. If you have Netflix, you can stream this movie until Friday (4/1/11).
Peace,
Lily~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Having lived in the States most of my life, I have not seen war up close. Conflicts have always taken place in other countries. And although 9/11 was a tragedy, it does not constitute a war time reality. As I write my novel, I am trying not to sensationalize a rebellion. In fact, I am thinking about the day to day grind of living through an extended war in the States, in the distant future. What would that look like? What are the sounds? Who would survive? How would people live? At one point, I had a group of scavengers enter the picture but it started to go down the path of a zombie movie and that’s not really what I’m trying to create with this science fiction story. That section will be axed shortly. So Half of a Yellow Sun has helped create a mental image of what the states might look like if we were caught up in an extended internal conflict. I’m hoping to depict it a gritty naturalistic way.
My wheels are spinning and I just need some traction to get going on revisions. The first cuts are always the hardest so I plan on working on those tonight.
I also wanted to make a quick mention of an interesting sci-fi movie I watched last night called Code 46 (2004). The premise revolves around genetic engineering and IVF. And how human cloning had gotten to the stage where people needed to get genetically tested before they could be permitted to have sex because they could potentially have too many genetic markers in common. Tim Robbins and Samantha Morton are the leads…and I love them both in this film. At times, the film gets a bit esoteric regarding fate and destiny but the science and politics of control over sexual desire is really quite fascinating. If you have Netflix, you can stream this movie until Friday (4/1/11).
Peace,
Lily~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
A Bit of a Rant
I should start off this entry by saying I am a bit of a news junkie. Might explain why I can’t sleep at night. So I read Chrystia Freeland’s Op-Ed piece “The Lottery Mentality” on New York Times online.
It’s a crazy coincidence because I was just thinking about this Tuesday night. There is this mentality in working class communities that when one talks about retirement plans someone will take out a lottery ticket from their back pocket and say, “got it right here.” Tuesday night I was thinking about that retirement plan, it could have been that Mega Lotto was up to $244 million dollars. I didn’t play BUT I was thinking about that chunk of change. After all, being a poet and making a living solely off that discipline doesn’t come easy. Just a fact of life and in these economic times when government is looking at cutting back on funding for the arts, we, creative types, will have to find new solutions to generate income. So when I worry about money (can’t help the financial anxiety that hits me late at night) my thoughts move to spending $244 million dollars (that I haven’t quite won yet.)
You see, I think of that lottery money and think about the arts organizations that would benefit from some sizeable donations. Non-profits that could flourish. Spread the wealth. Allow communities to prosper. We have so many people in this country starving…and I’m not just talking about the artists. America is supposed to be one of the riches countries and yet we are cutting back support at every turn because people with high substantial incomes do not want to pay more taxes. So where do politicians dig into? The working and middle class of this country.
This working class and middle class have been diminishing with every financial crisis. Americans have to take a cold hard look at what’s not working. And just for the record, this is not Obama’s fault!! In fact, the Bush administrations (both) did so much damage that Obama’s administration has been trying to put out fires ever since. Not to mention, the in-fighting in the Senate against this administration has been ridiculous. Although I disagree with Obama’s decision, air strikes on Libya…I think this presidency has been tied into a straight jacket. He sincerely thought he could make the necessary changes from the inside but this system has long been broken. Just take a look at health care reform.
I was reading through some of the comments to this op-ed and there were a few who go straight to the fact that Americans are stupid. Although my cynical nyc-side wants to agree, I think it goes deeper than that. I think we have bought into this cultural myth that Americans can pull ourselves by our boots straps and overcome all difficulties on our own (singular). And when we can’t quite do that, we self-blame (I can’t get a break) or blame others (it’s the immigrants who are stealing our jobs.) I’m a first-generation Mexican-American born and raised in this country. My folks came to NYC to give us, their children, better opportunities. I get the myth because I grew up with it. However, what I have learned in my travels is that you can’t do this alone.
This lottery dream is crazy unrealistic. Yep, I get that. Instead, we have to really start working within our communities to get through this hard time. I’m not just talking about our friends…who we all love and adore…but rather extending our circles so that we are working cooperatively. We can barter our time, our resources to put energy into common projects. This doesn’t have to be just about the cash in our pockets, we can bring so much more to the table. Why wait until things get worse? What can these co-ops look like? Working garden collectives…we have to start growing our own food resources again especially in cities. Solar energy cooperatives…look to see what the group in DC is doing: http://mtpleasantsolarcoop.org/. Or Center for Anti-Violence Education (CAE) in Brooklyn.
The possibilities are endless and I for one want to start thinking of positive changes because the alternative is too depressing. For example, clean water initiatives in NYC. We have amazing water filtration system for NYC but what if we were to lose power for a couple of weeks, what then? With so many people living in the metro area do we have alternative sources of energy to keep the water filtration system going? Or I read another article in Reality Sandwich about how much good produce gets thrown out into the garbage from big food centers like Whole Foods and Trader Joes to make room for incoming product. Anyone want to take up that cause and see if they could get Whole Foods to donate that food to any number of shelters in the area? I mean really we are wasting so much time and energy watching Charlie Sheen lose his s***t instead of creating change in our communities. We can do so much better and I’m tired of waiting for our elected officials to stop bickering long enough to get it right. I may be preaching to the choir here but I needed to get that off my chest.
"The oppressors do not favor promoting the community as a whole, but rather selected leaders." — Paulo Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed)
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
It’s a crazy coincidence because I was just thinking about this Tuesday night. There is this mentality in working class communities that when one talks about retirement plans someone will take out a lottery ticket from their back pocket and say, “got it right here.” Tuesday night I was thinking about that retirement plan, it could have been that Mega Lotto was up to $244 million dollars. I didn’t play BUT I was thinking about that chunk of change. After all, being a poet and making a living solely off that discipline doesn’t come easy. Just a fact of life and in these economic times when government is looking at cutting back on funding for the arts, we, creative types, will have to find new solutions to generate income. So when I worry about money (can’t help the financial anxiety that hits me late at night) my thoughts move to spending $244 million dollars (that I haven’t quite won yet.)
You see, I think of that lottery money and think about the arts organizations that would benefit from some sizeable donations. Non-profits that could flourish. Spread the wealth. Allow communities to prosper. We have so many people in this country starving…and I’m not just talking about the artists. America is supposed to be one of the riches countries and yet we are cutting back support at every turn because people with high substantial incomes do not want to pay more taxes. So where do politicians dig into? The working and middle class of this country.
This working class and middle class have been diminishing with every financial crisis. Americans have to take a cold hard look at what’s not working. And just for the record, this is not Obama’s fault!! In fact, the Bush administrations (both) did so much damage that Obama’s administration has been trying to put out fires ever since. Not to mention, the in-fighting in the Senate against this administration has been ridiculous. Although I disagree with Obama’s decision, air strikes on Libya…I think this presidency has been tied into a straight jacket. He sincerely thought he could make the necessary changes from the inside but this system has long been broken. Just take a look at health care reform.
I was reading through some of the comments to this op-ed and there were a few who go straight to the fact that Americans are stupid. Although my cynical nyc-side wants to agree, I think it goes deeper than that. I think we have bought into this cultural myth that Americans can pull ourselves by our boots straps and overcome all difficulties on our own (singular). And when we can’t quite do that, we self-blame (I can’t get a break) or blame others (it’s the immigrants who are stealing our jobs.) I’m a first-generation Mexican-American born and raised in this country. My folks came to NYC to give us, their children, better opportunities. I get the myth because I grew up with it. However, what I have learned in my travels is that you can’t do this alone.
This lottery dream is crazy unrealistic. Yep, I get that. Instead, we have to really start working within our communities to get through this hard time. I’m not just talking about our friends…who we all love and adore…but rather extending our circles so that we are working cooperatively. We can barter our time, our resources to put energy into common projects. This doesn’t have to be just about the cash in our pockets, we can bring so much more to the table. Why wait until things get worse? What can these co-ops look like? Working garden collectives…we have to start growing our own food resources again especially in cities. Solar energy cooperatives…look to see what the group in DC is doing: http://mtpleasantsolarcoop.org/. Or Center for Anti-Violence Education (CAE) in Brooklyn.
The possibilities are endless and I for one want to start thinking of positive changes because the alternative is too depressing. For example, clean water initiatives in NYC. We have amazing water filtration system for NYC but what if we were to lose power for a couple of weeks, what then? With so many people living in the metro area do we have alternative sources of energy to keep the water filtration system going? Or I read another article in Reality Sandwich about how much good produce gets thrown out into the garbage from big food centers like Whole Foods and Trader Joes to make room for incoming product. Anyone want to take up that cause and see if they could get Whole Foods to donate that food to any number of shelters in the area? I mean really we are wasting so much time and energy watching Charlie Sheen lose his s***t instead of creating change in our communities. We can do so much better and I’m tired of waiting for our elected officials to stop bickering long enough to get it right. I may be preaching to the choir here but I needed to get that off my chest.
"The oppressors do not favor promoting the community as a whole, but rather selected leaders." — Paulo Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed)
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Snow in late March...really?!
It’s a cold, dark, wet day in NYC. It’s snowing and the skies are heavy with cloud cover. The sky has a greenish tint today. I wonder if the storm is supposed to become more severe. By the look of that sky, I say it may just surprise us all.
Let’s see yesterday I took a break from the story. I was too high anxiety to settle down enough to figure out the best way to solve the issues that I’m seeing. I really love the first 10 pages but that dynamic voice in the beginning is no where else in the story. How in the world did I lose it? I may just have to lop off the beginning and make that into a short story or I have to rewrite the voice in the rest of the novel. Either way, I need to think of the small task at hand instead of the mountain that sits before me. Otherwise, it’ll never get done. So tonight when I get home from work, I will re-read this piece with a legal pad in hand to jot down more notes. The first pass was just to hear the voice and figure out the readability of it. I may create an outline of the story just to make sure that I have good bones/structure. I already know that there is a 6 page section that needs to be cut and there are a few key places that need to be built up. There is something missing with the story but I don’t know what it is yet. It’s just a feeling, like the moment right before you know you’re thirsty. You don’t quite know what you need until you make a mental check. Same thing. I guess I’ll need to work through it (by writing) to figure it out.
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
 |
| Times Square from the 26th Floor |
It’s a cold, dark, wet day in NYC. It’s snowing and the skies are heavy with cloud cover. The sky has a greenish tint today. I wonder if the storm is supposed to become more severe. By the look of that sky, I say it may just surprise us all.
Let’s see yesterday I took a break from the story. I was too high anxiety to settle down enough to figure out the best way to solve the issues that I’m seeing. I really love the first 10 pages but that dynamic voice in the beginning is no where else in the story. How in the world did I lose it? I may just have to lop off the beginning and make that into a short story or I have to rewrite the voice in the rest of the novel. Either way, I need to think of the small task at hand instead of the mountain that sits before me. Otherwise, it’ll never get done. So tonight when I get home from work, I will re-read this piece with a legal pad in hand to jot down more notes. The first pass was just to hear the voice and figure out the readability of it. I may create an outline of the story just to make sure that I have good bones/structure. I already know that there is a 6 page section that needs to be cut and there are a few key places that need to be built up. There is something missing with the story but I don’t know what it is yet. It’s just a feeling, like the moment right before you know you’re thirsty. You don’t quite know what you need until you make a mental check. Same thing. I guess I’ll need to work through it (by writing) to figure it out.
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Monday, March 21, 2011
In like a lion, out like a lamb
Today I am finally re-reading my sci-fi story after a 4-week hiatus. I’ve only gotten through the first 15 pages and I can see a glaring logistical problem. *argh* The problem is making it difficult to read because my brain keeps spinning out on it. I’ll need to fix it but I’m not really sure how just yet. What crap! No, not the work. I just mean that I was anticipating this problem but I didn’t realize how this would change some of the structure/foundation of the story itself. It means a much deeper revision than I first thought. My inner critic will have a field day ripping it to pieces and putting it back together.
What is working: I like the tempo and how it reads in the first section. In fact, I may have lost it towards the end of the story. The momentum seems to have faded at the mid-point. But that can be re-written. Hmmm. I’m starting to make notes of changes so far. My brain is on fire, can you smell the smoke? It’s a restless unfocused energy and I’m having a hard time settling myself down long enough to work on the fiction.
It’s actually snowing today! Really? The first day of spring was yesterday. What happened to March coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb? Big fluffy snowflakes do not count as going out like a lamb. All for now…I’m going to sit here and grumble to myself for a while. *arms crossed, grumbling*
Lily
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
What is working: I like the tempo and how it reads in the first section. In fact, I may have lost it towards the end of the story. The momentum seems to have faded at the mid-point. But that can be re-written. Hmmm. I’m starting to make notes of changes so far. My brain is on fire, can you smell the smoke? It’s a restless unfocused energy and I’m having a hard time settling myself down long enough to work on the fiction.
It’s actually snowing today! Really? The first day of spring was yesterday. What happened to March coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb? Big fluffy snowflakes do not count as going out like a lamb. All for now…I’m going to sit here and grumble to myself for a while. *arms crossed, grumbling*
Lily
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Rolling in the Deep
Okay, I get that sometimes I'm a "jackie come lately" but this morning I saw a video of Adele's Rolling in the Deep and oh my god!! I love it!! Her voice is genius and I only wish I had heard it sooner. Now I can't stop listening to this song. This music opens me up and rips out my heart every time. Yay for genius!!
I've attached a link of the video above if you want to check her out.
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
I've attached a link of the video above if you want to check her out.
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Stoked!
I am really stoked! I finished the biographical statement to the grant. Phew! Blood, sweat and tears went into that little essay. (No, not really…just rubbed my eyebrows off.) I’m a few days late from a self-imposed deadline but I’m still good with the actual deadline which is next week. So the plan is to send out this grant application tonight. I’ll read over the essay on the train home, make any last minute changes, upload my poetry manuscript and essay onto the site, pay the fee and I’m done. I’m excited. Being the triple moon baby that I am, it’s only fitting that I send it out the night before a full moon. Yay!! Okay, I won’t celebrate quite yet, I’ll do a subdued happy dance until it’s actually done.
Let’s see what else? I have more packing to do this weekend but I SO DON’T WANT to tackle that this weekend. Tired of packing…I may leave it off for next week. When I’m freaking out next week, we will all know why. It’s supposed to be a mild day on Saturday. I’m in the mood to go to the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. A long walk will do wonders for me. I’ll bring a sketchbook and some pencils…awww I just remembered I packed them away….argh! I may have to open up some boxes and dig them out. Or better yet, I’ll just bring a notebook to write in and bring my camera. Oh and I have a couple books I want to finish. Easy breezy. I know it seems like I’m thinking out loud here…well mostly it’s because that’s exactly what I’m doing. All for now.
Peace,
Lily
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Let’s see what else? I have more packing to do this weekend but I SO DON’T WANT to tackle that this weekend. Tired of packing…I may leave it off for next week. When I’m freaking out next week, we will all know why. It’s supposed to be a mild day on Saturday. I’m in the mood to go to the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. A long walk will do wonders for me. I’ll bring a sketchbook and some pencils…awww I just remembered I packed them away….argh! I may have to open up some boxes and dig them out. Or better yet, I’ll just bring a notebook to write in and bring my camera. Oh and I have a couple books I want to finish. Easy breezy. I know it seems like I’m thinking out loud here…well mostly it’s because that’s exactly what I’m doing. All for now.
Peace,
Lily
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
I took the day off of work on Tuesday. After a pretty painful morning, I was able to move on to work on the grant application from noon until 4:30 pm. Having that focused time to work on the application was necessary. I could hear myself think. I have the poetry portion prepped and ready to go. I worked on the essay for some time but I needed to give it a rest. I found myself repeating things needlessly. I’ll take another crack at it today to see if I can come to a more completed version. I’m plugging along.
Today is a cold wet day in the city and despite wanting to hibernate most of the winter… I feel my energy rising. I feel my interior life waking up. Most of the winter, I felt low-key and downright blue but as the days start to grow longer and the temperature starts to warm up (a tad), I want to do more, take on more of this creative life. I want more time to write. More time to paint. And I am taking advantage of any spare moments I can find. Yet, I still found some time to watch Glee last night. That boy on boy kiss was very sweet and so hot!! Yay!!
Peace,
Lily~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Today is a cold wet day in the city and despite wanting to hibernate most of the winter… I feel my energy rising. I feel my interior life waking up. Most of the winter, I felt low-key and downright blue but as the days start to grow longer and the temperature starts to warm up (a tad), I want to do more, take on more of this creative life. I want more time to write. More time to paint. And I am taking advantage of any spare moments I can find. Yet, I still found some time to watch Glee last night. That boy on boy kiss was very sweet and so hot!! Yay!!
Peace,
Lily~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Wired and Tired
A very generous friend was going to buy me a plane ticket to travel to China in June. Unfortunately, those plans fell through. C’est la vie. I think in the past a disappointment like this would have spiraled me into the abyss but I have to say it definitely doesn’t feel like that to me at all today. Instead, I feel grateful for the offer having been made at all. However, this setback has me focused on getting some much needed vacation time, away from the office, away from the city either at an ashram or to visit some friends in Vermont. I need time to decompress. I’ve been both wired and tired for a long time. So I’ll figure plans out in the coming weeks.
This weekend was about errands and family dinners. We celebrated my sister’s birthday at one of our favorite restaurants. Party of ten please. My little nieces behaved themselves in our two-hour celebration, hoorah! I realized that my oldest niece is turning 15 years old this year. Holy Hell!! REALLY?! In three years she’ll be off to college. I’m not quite ready for that reality but ready or not here it comes. I can’t stave off progress.
So my plans for this week are to finish off the grant application by Wednesday and start writing a few more lines on my second story idea. No writing group this week so I’ll work on my own. Then next week, I’ll take out Indigo and start revising that piece. I am excited and nervous about working on it. All for now…I have to get my day started at work.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
This weekend was about errands and family dinners. We celebrated my sister’s birthday at one of our favorite restaurants. Party of ten please. My little nieces behaved themselves in our two-hour celebration, hoorah! I realized that my oldest niece is turning 15 years old this year. Holy Hell!! REALLY?! In three years she’ll be off to college. I’m not quite ready for that reality but ready or not here it comes. I can’t stave off progress.
So my plans for this week are to finish off the grant application by Wednesday and start writing a few more lines on my second story idea. No writing group this week so I’ll work on my own. Then next week, I’ll take out Indigo and start revising that piece. I am excited and nervous about working on it. All for now…I have to get my day started at work.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Writing Group Results
So the results are in: my writing group loved one and the other one they didn't know what to make of it. Hehehe. I will be fair and say that out of a 27 line poem, they were unanimous in the love-fest for the last five lines. Interesting. So now comes the fine balancing act between taking feedback and making decisions on this piece called Circle, Holding Pattern. Hmmmm. Not sure yet how I'm going to move forward on it. I think I need to sit quietly with it and see where it goes. I am attaching below the first draft of this poem below. I'm also making a mental note that when I've revised the piece to show what came of it on this blog.
******
Enjoy,
Lily~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Circle, Holding Pattern
Five points away from each other
thin rain mists stranger faces
We are three walking the dark
travel logs in back pockets
youth with an order of fries
everywhere kissing bodies
collapse upon each others
reminds me of the mess we’re in
fractured lyrics play over again
the bridge, swan dive at dawn,
straight high walker
misses footing, we’re calm
until you pick up a human tooth
slip into a pocket for safekeeping,
remember when you OD’d
you reminded me to breathe,
strum suspension wires, rhythm
promise to throw out the next poem
about rain no matter where we wind up
black ashes and oil, across your forehead
ten lives out of my mind, good fortune
too fancy in copper bowls, metal growls
echo, collect as voicemail messages
all our lives are hidden in pieces
on hand-held devices, our deities sleep
in white shrouds, compacted beneath
our bare feet, seclusion without faith.
******
Enjoy,
Lily~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Friday, March 11, 2011
When is the caffeine suppose to kick in?
Another rainy day in Noo Yawk Sitty and I am trying to pry my eyes open. I am drinking coffee this morning…things must be dire if I’ve chosen coffee over tea. I’m hoping the caffeine will kick in at any moment. I can’t believe I’ve been in the office for almost two hours. What have I done exactly? I sincerely think I’ve been sleeping with my eyes open (slightly).
Moving on, yesterday I spent the better part of the day writing. I came up with two poems and one blog entry. Five hours, two poems…yes that’s how long those two pieces took me. I’m hoping that I didn’t overwork them. I’ll find out tonight when I present them to my writing group for feedback. Argh, I always get a bit nervous bringing in new work. I know they will be respectful and encouraging…but like most writers I sometimes think my peers will take one read and look at me with disgust and say something like, “what the hell did you just write?” I know that is as far from reality but there is a small part of me that can’t help feel insecure about new work. But I AM excited at what I’m about to present tonight. It feels new and fresh to me and I want to include it in this application packet. We shall see.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Moving on, yesterday I spent the better part of the day writing. I came up with two poems and one blog entry. Five hours, two poems…yes that’s how long those two pieces took me. I’m hoping that I didn’t overwork them. I’ll find out tonight when I present them to my writing group for feedback. Argh, I always get a bit nervous bringing in new work. I know they will be respectful and encouraging…but like most writers I sometimes think my peers will take one read and look at me with disgust and say something like, “what the hell did you just write?” I know that is as far from reality but there is a small part of me that can’t help feel insecure about new work. But I AM excited at what I’m about to present tonight. It feels new and fresh to me and I want to include it in this application packet. We shall see.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Let it Pour!!
It’s a dark overcast Thursday morning. It’s supposed to rain all day today. uhm, yea.
Yesterday was a bit of a wash for me. I couldn’t motivate myself to do more than make myself tea. I did manage to go to dinner with a friend which helped turn my mood around quite a bit. Yay for that and thank goodness.
But work was work and I didn’t have enough to do, which meant that I had an open day to write. But words wouldn’t formulate, at least not in a creative sort of way. Instead I wrote a 2,000 word journal entry to work through a myriad of emotional crap that’s been coming up for me. I just wrote in 500-word increments in between my manager asking me to do a little task here and a little task there. The tasks would take me 10-15 minutes to do. The writing would take a good 30 minutes. It is what it is. I’m not complaining….much.
When I get stuck creatively, I can usually get started on a piece by using a really good line from someone else’s work and just riff and play off of it. Then just delete that first line and revise the piece accordingly. That didn’t quite work yesterday because I was too angry. Anger can blind me and stop me in my tracks. I’m sure there are much better writers out there who use the anger to write but I can’t quite make that shift. In fact, the anger engulfed me and kept me in a strangle hold for most of the day. I reached out to my sister, just to vocalize that emotion. “I was so angry I could taste my liver in my mouth.” Ick but true.
My vexation sat down in the middle of the day and refused to move. Arms folded, legs criss-crossed refusing to budge. I have remnants of it left today but last night’s talk loosened it up. Enough to appreciate the warm wind on my way to work. My goal today is to write 4 more poems for tomorrow’s writing group. I plan on finishing up my artist statement today. Organize my receipts for my accountant. And finish reading Ann Lamott’s book Bird by Bird. Those are my priorities. Let’s see how it goes today.
Peace~
Lily
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Yesterday was a bit of a wash for me. I couldn’t motivate myself to do more than make myself tea. I did manage to go to dinner with a friend which helped turn my mood around quite a bit. Yay for that and thank goodness.
But work was work and I didn’t have enough to do, which meant that I had an open day to write. But words wouldn’t formulate, at least not in a creative sort of way. Instead I wrote a 2,000 word journal entry to work through a myriad of emotional crap that’s been coming up for me. I just wrote in 500-word increments in between my manager asking me to do a little task here and a little task there. The tasks would take me 10-15 minutes to do. The writing would take a good 30 minutes. It is what it is. I’m not complaining….much.
When I get stuck creatively, I can usually get started on a piece by using a really good line from someone else’s work and just riff and play off of it. Then just delete that first line and revise the piece accordingly. That didn’t quite work yesterday because I was too angry. Anger can blind me and stop me in my tracks. I’m sure there are much better writers out there who use the anger to write but I can’t quite make that shift. In fact, the anger engulfed me and kept me in a strangle hold for most of the day. I reached out to my sister, just to vocalize that emotion. “I was so angry I could taste my liver in my mouth.” Ick but true.
My vexation sat down in the middle of the day and refused to move. Arms folded, legs criss-crossed refusing to budge. I have remnants of it left today but last night’s talk loosened it up. Enough to appreciate the warm wind on my way to work. My goal today is to write 4 more poems for tomorrow’s writing group. I plan on finishing up my artist statement today. Organize my receipts for my accountant. And finish reading Ann Lamott’s book Bird by Bird. Those are my priorities. Let’s see how it goes today.
Peace~
Lily
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Clearing the cobwebs
Yesterday, I managed to write a rough draft of my artist statement, hitting all the main points the grant is asking for. So it’s in bullet point form at the moment. I will work on smoothing out the edges in the coming days. I also revised five poems that I plan on sending. Five down, ten more to go. I worked solidly for two and a half hours last night once I got home from work. By 9 pm I was done for the night and I curled up to watch a cute French movie with Audrey Tautou called Priceless. The movie made me giggle and it was a nice treat after a long day.
Unfortunately, despite the work, I was restless and I tossed and turned for a good long while. After being so depleted energy-wise the past month (being sick with a chest cold), my energy is starting to rise again and I know I need to do a little more exercise. I spend 8.5 hours a day sitting behind a desk and then I go home and sit and work for another 2.5 hours writing…yes, I think my body is definitely telling me I need to go stretch and work out. Hmmm…how am I going to fit that in? I can barely get up in the morning as it is. Last night I was up until 1 am and up by 6:30. (5.5 hours of sleep). No wonder I feel not quite here today.
I am currently sipping a crappy cup of tea. No flavor, no body…just a watery thin version of what I like to drink. Hmmm. I should really get up and fix myself another cup…or at the very least stop drinking this one.
So tonight I’ll step off a couple of stops before my actual train stop and walk home. A 20-minute uphill walk may help clear the cobwebs and perhaps a bit of stretching when I get home. That will at least help get me started, yes? Then continue with revising some more material for my application and revise my statement. Plus writing group is on Friday so I can use feedback on new material, so there is that to write. Back to work.
Peace~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Unfortunately, despite the work, I was restless and I tossed and turned for a good long while. After being so depleted energy-wise the past month (being sick with a chest cold), my energy is starting to rise again and I know I need to do a little more exercise. I spend 8.5 hours a day sitting behind a desk and then I go home and sit and work for another 2.5 hours writing…yes, I think my body is definitely telling me I need to go stretch and work out. Hmmm…how am I going to fit that in? I can barely get up in the morning as it is. Last night I was up until 1 am and up by 6:30. (5.5 hours of sleep). No wonder I feel not quite here today.
I am currently sipping a crappy cup of tea. No flavor, no body…just a watery thin version of what I like to drink. Hmmm. I should really get up and fix myself another cup…or at the very least stop drinking this one.
So tonight I’ll step off a couple of stops before my actual train stop and walk home. A 20-minute uphill walk may help clear the cobwebs and perhaps a bit of stretching when I get home. That will at least help get me started, yes? Then continue with revising some more material for my application and revise my statement. Plus writing group is on Friday so I can use feedback on new material, so there is that to write. Back to work.
Peace~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Monday, monday...
I woke up this morning not wanting to get out of bed. I set my alarm for 5 am so I could get up and write and only just managed to get out of bed at 6:50 am. Blah!
Friday night met up with my writing group. It was a small circle of three but the feedback I received from my peers was right on. I could see where the work needed to be tightened and what lines fell flat but they also told me what lines were strong and what really worked. I’m in good shape. I’m pulling together a grant application and I need 15 pages of poetry. Yes, I can recycle some of my older work and I’ll have about 5 pages worth of that lot BUT I also want to put forth newer work. My writing is changing. It’s a natural process as I spend more time putting words onto a page and I want the work to reflect that development.
Let’s see what else? I managed to pack five more boxes for my impending move (some time in the next couple of weeks). I’m stacking them up in the living room and Mami is not happy with the prospect of boxes stacked in the corner. Good lord! She expects me to keep them in my room and that’s not really going to work. So I continue to stack them anyway. Hell, it is what it is.
Also more research for my next novel and jotting down notes. I’ll probably get started on putting some word count into it tonight. I seem to be constructing long passages but I don’t quite have a sense of what I’m writing about yet.
And if I procrastinate on this work, I’ll be putting time into the grant application. I have to write an artist statement talking about my writing process. I always find that I make this kind of thing harder on myself than it needs to be. After all, I write more and more about the process and should be getting much needed practice on that element, right? But nooooooo, instead I hem and haw in front of the page completely blank as to what to write. This time I’m writing it first. In fact, I found an essay I wrote several years ago about why I write poetry. Who knew I had something to say on the subject. It’s good material to draw from. So much to do, so little time.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Friday night met up with my writing group. It was a small circle of three but the feedback I received from my peers was right on. I could see where the work needed to be tightened and what lines fell flat but they also told me what lines were strong and what really worked. I’m in good shape. I’m pulling together a grant application and I need 15 pages of poetry. Yes, I can recycle some of my older work and I’ll have about 5 pages worth of that lot BUT I also want to put forth newer work. My writing is changing. It’s a natural process as I spend more time putting words onto a page and I want the work to reflect that development.
Let’s see what else? I managed to pack five more boxes for my impending move (some time in the next couple of weeks). I’m stacking them up in the living room and Mami is not happy with the prospect of boxes stacked in the corner. Good lord! She expects me to keep them in my room and that’s not really going to work. So I continue to stack them anyway. Hell, it is what it is.
Also more research for my next novel and jotting down notes. I’ll probably get started on putting some word count into it tonight. I seem to be constructing long passages but I don’t quite have a sense of what I’m writing about yet.
And if I procrastinate on this work, I’ll be putting time into the grant application. I have to write an artist statement talking about my writing process. I always find that I make this kind of thing harder on myself than it needs to be. After all, I write more and more about the process and should be getting much needed practice on that element, right? But nooooooo, instead I hem and haw in front of the page completely blank as to what to write. This time I’m writing it first. In fact, I found an essay I wrote several years ago about why I write poetry. Who knew I had something to say on the subject. It’s good material to draw from. So much to do, so little time.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The memorial for Akilah Oliver was terribly sad and beautiful. Her family told stories about the woman that they knew as sister and aunt. Then her friends honored her in poetry and song. The words, the verses broke my heart open and I cried through the better part of the memorial. The tears were necessary and cathartic and I woke up this morning feeling lighter than I have in almost two months. That is not to say that I won’t miss Akilah a great deal, but allowing myself the space to grieve in a community loosened up the emotions I had been trying to tamp down this past week. The verses read soothed my spirit and the tears lightened me up. Some folks read her words out loud and all I can say is I wish I had known her better. The writing community lost a brilliant intellectual, poet and teacher.
Nandai:
Since time began
the dead alone know peace.
Life is but melting snow.
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Nandai:
Since time began
the dead alone know peace.
Life is but melting snow.
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Two poems, journal entry and a blog entry
Today, I wrote two poems and a 630-word journal entry and now this blog entry. No, I did not get up early this morning. I couldn’t pry my eyes open. I even contemplated taking a sick day from work but with my upcoming move up to the boogie-down Bronx…I need every penny I can scrape up.
It feels decadent to be able to work on my writing. The office is quiet enough to let the words bubble up. Each piece takes me at least an hour because there are phone and people interruptions. But poetry becomes almost a meditative practice as I read and re-read the lines over and over again. I’m listening for the music of the piece. There is a certain rhythm structure that underlies each one. I also play with language and look up words in the dictionary and thesaurus to find better flavors to give a poem a different color. Both pieces are pretty rough and I’ll work on smoothing down the edges when I get home tonight. I just need a couple of hours to distance myself enough from the piece to look at it with fresh eyes tonight. So far I have 4 out of 5 pieces for tomorrow’s writing group.
I am cold and achy; they’ve turned up the air in the office. I know they do this to circulate the otherwise stale air but it doesn’t help my cold much.
Tonight, I’m going to Akilah Oliver’s memorial service. My stomach is tied up in knots at the prospect of attending but…it may help me come to terms with her death. I’m afraid my pragmatic nature has escaped me in this instance. I looked up to her. She was an amazing poet with a steady, critical eye. She had a way of making me feel competent with the whole writing poetry thing. She treated me like a peer. When I took her class at L.I.U., I felt capable of getting better at the craft and my work flourished. I’m so grateful for the semester that I had her as a professor.
Peace
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
It feels decadent to be able to work on my writing. The office is quiet enough to let the words bubble up. Each piece takes me at least an hour because there are phone and people interruptions. But poetry becomes almost a meditative practice as I read and re-read the lines over and over again. I’m listening for the music of the piece. There is a certain rhythm structure that underlies each one. I also play with language and look up words in the dictionary and thesaurus to find better flavors to give a poem a different color. Both pieces are pretty rough and I’ll work on smoothing down the edges when I get home tonight. I just need a couple of hours to distance myself enough from the piece to look at it with fresh eyes tonight. So far I have 4 out of 5 pieces for tomorrow’s writing group.
I am cold and achy; they’ve turned up the air in the office. I know they do this to circulate the otherwise stale air but it doesn’t help my cold much.
Tonight, I’m going to Akilah Oliver’s memorial service. My stomach is tied up in knots at the prospect of attending but…it may help me come to terms with her death. I’m afraid my pragmatic nature has escaped me in this instance. I looked up to her. She was an amazing poet with a steady, critical eye. She had a way of making me feel competent with the whole writing poetry thing. She treated me like a peer. When I took her class at L.I.U., I felt capable of getting better at the craft and my work flourished. I’m so grateful for the semester that I had her as a professor.
Peace
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Wednesday…that insipid day in the middle of the week.
It’s a bright sunny day in NYC, although a tad chilly for this sickly poet. Sorry, still recovering from a chest cold and that little wind that crosses the avenues chills me down to my bones and freezes up my capacity to breathe.
I’ve spent the better part of the afternoon writing poetry. It did the soul some good to get some phrases out onto the page. I have another three to finish before the end of the week. Yes, writing group meets up on Friday so I’m working on getting new material out to them. Deadlines work for me. Keeps me working and focused. Kind of.
My brain, these days, is a deluge of wandering thoughts. Chattering monkeys galore. I write to calm them down, sedate them down back to a more yielding nature. At the very least my writing puts them to sleep. That is not to say that my writing is boring, or at least I hope that is not what I am writing. I think writing gives me headspace to sort myself out. I get to the point where I am tired of hearing my own complaints and something must be done. Action must be taken on my own account or I will surely drown in this miasma of my own self-pity. It’s just not pretty.
As I write this blog entry (it’s a slow afternoon here at work) I am listening to Tori Amos’s album, From the Choirgirl Hotel. I always forget how much I love this particular album. The rock element makes me want to get up and dance around. Her song, She’s Your Cocaine is blasting on my iTunes and I can barely sit still. So there is head bobbing, foot tapping, and swinging my desk chair from side to side. Like I said, it can’t be helped. Wish I could blast it out as loud as I can in this quiet beige office and dance on top of my desk. Hmmm, I’m not sure it would be appreciated. Hehehe. That thought made me giggle out loud. My neighbor in the cube next to me must think I’m mad when I laugh quietly to my own blog entries.
Yes, so back to the writing life. It’s not easy dedicating lots of time to writing, so I steal bits and pieces and pull them together when I can. 20 minutes here, an hour there, a couple of poems, a couple of brainstorming lines…it all adds up. I do know that I need to set aside more dedicated time to the writing since it keeps me from losing my shit. An afternoon of writing has already straightened me out and has me feeling right as rain again. It’s a small miracle. I don’t use that word lightly because the way I was feeling this morning was short of tragic and after spending three hours putting words down on a page, I am already starting to feel a bit better. Tomorrow, I will put more time in. Perhaps, dare I say it aloud, even get up early before I get ready for work and put in three pages towards my new idea/novel. Be still my rattling lungs. We shall have to see on that front ‘specially since it takes every ounce of self-will to get myself out of bed in the morning. Wish me luck on that front.
Peace~
Lily
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
I’ve spent the better part of the afternoon writing poetry. It did the soul some good to get some phrases out onto the page. I have another three to finish before the end of the week. Yes, writing group meets up on Friday so I’m working on getting new material out to them. Deadlines work for me. Keeps me working and focused. Kind of.
My brain, these days, is a deluge of wandering thoughts. Chattering monkeys galore. I write to calm them down, sedate them down back to a more yielding nature. At the very least my writing puts them to sleep. That is not to say that my writing is boring, or at least I hope that is not what I am writing. I think writing gives me headspace to sort myself out. I get to the point where I am tired of hearing my own complaints and something must be done. Action must be taken on my own account or I will surely drown in this miasma of my own self-pity. It’s just not pretty.
As I write this blog entry (it’s a slow afternoon here at work) I am listening to Tori Amos’s album, From the Choirgirl Hotel. I always forget how much I love this particular album. The rock element makes me want to get up and dance around. Her song, She’s Your Cocaine is blasting on my iTunes and I can barely sit still. So there is head bobbing, foot tapping, and swinging my desk chair from side to side. Like I said, it can’t be helped. Wish I could blast it out as loud as I can in this quiet beige office and dance on top of my desk. Hmmm, I’m not sure it would be appreciated. Hehehe. That thought made me giggle out loud. My neighbor in the cube next to me must think I’m mad when I laugh quietly to my own blog entries.
Yes, so back to the writing life. It’s not easy dedicating lots of time to writing, so I steal bits and pieces and pull them together when I can. 20 minutes here, an hour there, a couple of poems, a couple of brainstorming lines…it all adds up. I do know that I need to set aside more dedicated time to the writing since it keeps me from losing my shit. An afternoon of writing has already straightened me out and has me feeling right as rain again. It’s a small miracle. I don’t use that word lightly because the way I was feeling this morning was short of tragic and after spending three hours putting words down on a page, I am already starting to feel a bit better. Tomorrow, I will put more time in. Perhaps, dare I say it aloud, even get up early before I get ready for work and put in three pages towards my new idea/novel. Be still my rattling lungs. We shall have to see on that front ‘specially since it takes every ounce of self-will to get myself out of bed in the morning. Wish me luck on that front.
Peace~
Lily
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
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