Let it Pour!!

It’s a dark overcast Thursday morning. It’s supposed to rain all day today. uhm, yea.

Yesterday was a bit of a wash for me. I couldn’t motivate myself to do more than make myself tea. I did manage to go to dinner with a friend which helped turn my mood around quite a bit. Yay for that and thank goodness.

But work was work and I didn’t have enough to do, which meant that I had an open day to write. But words wouldn’t formulate, at least not in a creative sort of way. Instead I wrote a 2,000 word journal entry to work through a myriad of emotional crap that’s been coming up for me. I just wrote in 500-word increments in between my manager asking me to do a little task here and a little task there. The tasks would take me 10-15 minutes to do. The writing would take a good 30 minutes. It is what it is. I’m not complaining….much.

When I get stuck creatively, I can usually get started on a piece by using a really good line from someone else’s work and just riff and play off of it. Then just delete that first line and revise the piece accordingly. That didn’t quite work yesterday because I was too angry. Anger can blind me and stop me in my tracks. I’m sure there are much better writers out there who use the anger to write but I can’t quite make that shift. In fact, the anger engulfed me and kept me in a strangle hold for most of the day. I reached out to my sister, just to vocalize that emotion. “I was so angry I could taste my liver in my mouth.” Ick but true.

My vexation sat down in the middle of the day and refused to move. Arms folded, legs criss-crossed refusing to budge. I have remnants of it left today but last night’s talk loosened it up. Enough to appreciate the warm wind on my way to work. My goal today is to write 4 more poems for tomorrow’s writing group. I plan on finishing up my artist statement today. Organize my receipts for my accountant. And finish reading Ann Lamott’s book Bird by Bird. Those are my priorities. Let’s see how it goes today.

Peace~


Lily

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