Elusive

I've collected quarters to call you.
How many will it take to reach you?
The slivered moon presses down
against the night sky. A song chased
down a hollow throat, lost. Piano
notes heard through the wall.
I have nothing left to show you.
Empty hands fill deep coat pockets.
Seams are torn Winter wind seeps in.
Knuckles chafed raw bleed thinly.
Did we forget our lesson when you
looked right through me? She never
liked questions in my poetry, red lines
across my question marks. A large white
swan in a multi-colored vest chased me
across a yard in my dream last night.
You've caught me sober. Don't drown
in your secrets. You've left snowy
footsteps across the floor. Let them
dry. A reminder that you were here once. 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2018 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

summer showers

staring out the window, watching the sky. clouds move in sweeping arcs. rain comes down in blinding sheets. don't care what comes out of your mouth today. don't care what sounds you have uttered before. open wide, point upward, fill yourself up. tell all the travelers i'm dead. turn around, listen to the noise, escape unscathed once more. when you think of love, do you think of me? thunder moves through unrepentant. you're the reason why i feel at all. striking light across my eyes. you unfold sideways waiting for a reply that won't come anymore.


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2017 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

9:09 pm

it bubbles up
presses against flesh
heads up, you'll miss it
come up to the surface
along the eyelash line
see the dewdrops
about to fall, halfway
done, need the sun
to break, call home
you've been gone
for far too long
thunder rumbles
in the distance
calling, calling
guitar strings
plucked, stroked
slides along
skreech sounds
across lei lines
where pressure
builds up, an edge
along the tooth line
can you feel it?
way down we go
the back of my throat
aches when i think
of you alone.


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2016 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

7:31 pm

the day is hot. sunlight pinpricks my skin walking up a hill.
a warm wind sweeps down, a caress, a kiss and i've missed you
again. humming beneath my breath to alicia key's in common
song reminds me of what we had in the swing of a drum beat.
tree branches move slowly reaching outward, the sky is quiet
thin heat drying out the cavern where a heart once beat softly.


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2016 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

zygote

I've been wandering with my hand in my hair tucking a strand behind my ear looking around listening to all the city sounds and wondering where the hell am I in this world, in this life...who is casting a shadow on the pavement, trembling at the hard strike of noise behind me...who is remembering the songs from earlier years when love was EVERYthing...who is casting the role of lover on a tin paper foil, forgotten in a old pair of jeans too tattered to wear anymore...I keep saying out loud it's too late, it's too late, it's too late...while an ember still burns in a belly full of dreams...the song is still there in soft whispered tones that bubble up in short stuccato phrases, disparate sounds...yet there i am lying awake grasping in the dark and all i hear is an aching silence.



All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2016 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Scavengers and Saints

Puzzle pieces scattered across a table.
Who cares if we don't eat. Better to put
it together than to quell our hunger.
One look at you, my heart flutters
with a lost song. Don't call it love.
Love tastes like ashes against
my tongue. Listening to the chorus
I remember you from before.
I wish the feeling of missing you
wasn't so strong. It's an aural illusion.
The train rumbles over Manhattan bridge
the building lights we pass remind me
of lives being lived behind closed doors alone.
You travel away and I want to whisper words
in your ear tonight. Be well. Do not seek danger.
Remember me when you are alone.
Don't forget to send me a word. Just one.
Softly. And smile. It always reaches me,
fills me up to my head, makes my scalp tingle,
I feel full of you in the dark. I keep writing
to you on my skin. There are lines that connect us.
Can you read them or should I write louder?
The damage is done, you are thin-razor marks
etched onto me.  It hardly hurts. You are a muse
or a grey dove expecting seeds from my hand.
We all want answers. I've wrapped myself
around you and you've hardly noticed. Who cares,
after all, they are only feelings falling off a tree.
You will never take a bite off the fruit. You'll lose
a tooth if you dare. You cover your heart for good
measure. Don't worry I won't hurt you, much.
A woman carries purple orchids. A flower dying
on the vine in cold water. You know I'm a predator
but you don't mind being devoured. When the walls
are quiet you imagine me moaning on top of you.
How well you know me before we've even met naked.
I hold you in my mind as I walk on this cold night.
I am contracting. I want only what you are willing
to offer freely. This lonesome feeling will only last
as long as the season. When you are ready
to share your despair, remember me fondly.


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2015 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Location Not Available Yet

I am located on the other side of the door.
You, yawn, scratch and wonder what next.
We are not sharing secrets over tea, since you remember the before-time. You knew me way back when...You talk so much I've stopped listening, that doesn't stop you from continuing your incessant chatter. I am careless with your memories. The thin rain has started to fall leaving a thin sheen over the afternoon. You plunder my thoughts with ginger-scented letters. Sugar on my tongue and madness consumes me for a spell. I am trying to put enough distance between my body and your touch, between your laughter and my want, between my words and your music. There is so little difference between us, space-wide. The glass of water had been sitting on the window ledge too long. How warm your skin tastes against my lips. The room hums with your breathing, it reminds me that I'm still alive, barely.

Hinterland

I am caught in the callous
country of language.
Borderline. Fragments.
Waking words. Clarity.
The truth is there is no truth
only a moment, a thought.
I am wasting time dancing
around the periphery
like a fairy in a pink tutu
instead of hunkering
down, sinking waist
deep into the mud.
The sky is the color
of green ash, waiting
to rip open thunder,
lightning and rain.

Stand with an open hand
while a grey mourning
dove perches on a white
fence murmuring to
the cherry blossom
tree, remembering
Spring together.

Astray

What does lost look like?

Having gone astray, missed the way
Not used to good purpose, opportunity/time/labor wasted
Preoccupied
Distracted/distraught

Notebooks piled on a desk
Deadlines locking down the day
Somehow we have lost our way
Sunlight breaking through cloud cover beckons
A clock against a white wall, the red hand tick~tocks along
There is a strangle hold

Scientists have created the coldest molecule (minus 273 Celsius)
Did it just get cold in here?

I missed you yesterday, across a span of words captured on the web
You missed me too, dead pixels, corrupt links and all.
With so much new technology we hold onto radio silence. It's the safest way to exist without you.

Scientists have created the coldest chemically induced molecule and injected it into my bloodstream. It's the safest way to exist without you.

Monday Morning

the day is cold, damp
sun light diffused
by cloud cover
thin pale lumen
reflected on ice
patches, frozen
sidewalk, crackling
footsteps beneath
a quiet dawn blooms

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2015 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Dead Air

January light is spare, glints on
the corners of our eyes. Boots crack
icy snow with every step. A bitter
wind chafes tender spots above
cheeks leaving behind red patches.
Kisses. You buried yourself under
my skin. We are lost, a rapid decline,
a force upon us, bottomless free fall.
What is left is the sound of your breath.


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2014 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Strike a Balance

I'll be honest with you, the last couple of days I've been pretty grumpy.  I have been challenging myself to move past my own complacency.  I've extended some invitations to co-workers to have lunch...folks who I find interesting and who I'd like to get to know better.  You would think...it's socializing 101...but for me it doesn't come easy. Being a creative person, I tend to live in my head and I get VERY comfortable staying in my little shell. For the most part, I don't mind being a loner but I'm trying something new. It's not always comfortable nor is it very easy.

Lately, I miss writing. I've been jotting down notes, zygotes of ideas, barely fully formed that are worming their way to the surface.  I feel a little lost when I am not actively engaged with creative writing in some form every single day.  For me, jotting down lines just doesn't feel like it's ever really enough.  Hmm, that sounds like my Type A personality rearing it's head, excuse me while I put her back in that closet. Yes, still wresting between over-working and under-working.  Where to strike the balance?

Like this for instance...I wrote on the train home one night.

A couple huddles in a dark embrace 

of tongue, teeth and wet lips

who are they but youthful gods

searching for their power 

in the mouth 

in the love 

of an(other)

a reflection of potential being

the city alight with possibilities

future wakefulness.  

Not really sure yet what it needs to become but the words are on the page at least.  

Why am I not writing?  I am still dealing with some health issues that are not fully resolved so after a full day of work all I can really do is crash.  So the tidbits of scrap paper at the bottom of my purse and the notes in my lavender-colored notebook will have to do for now until I can begin again.  Today-Wednesday April 30th, I've completed two months of working at this new job.  It's been an adjustment and I'm still adjusting but more importantly I need to do my own creative work to balance out my day job. All for now will write more soon.  

Peace,

Lily~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2014 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Writing Group Results

So the results are in: my writing group loved one and the other one they didn't know what to make of it.  Hehehe.  I will be fair and say that out of a 27 line poem, they were unanimous in the love-fest for the last five lines.  Interesting.  So now comes the fine balancing act between taking feedback and making decisions on this piece called Circle, Holding Pattern.  Hmmmm.  Not sure yet how I'm going to move forward on it.  I think I need to sit quietly with it and see where it goes.  I am attaching below the first draft of this poem below.  I'm also making a mental note that when I've revised the piece to show what came of it on this blog.

Circle, Holding Pattern

Five points away from each other

thin rain mists stranger faces

We are three walking the dark

travel logs in back pockets

youth with an order of fries

everywhere kissing bodies

collapse upon each others

reminds me of the mess we’re in

fractured lyrics play over again

the bridge, swan dive at dawn,

straight high walker

misses footing, we’re calm

until you pick up a human tooth

slip into a pocket for safekeeping,

remember when you OD’d

you reminded me to breathe,

strum suspension wires, rhythm

promise to throw out the next poem

about rain no matter where we wind up

black ashes and oil, across your forehead

ten lives out of my mind, good fortune

too fancy in copper bowls, metal growls

echo, collect as voicemail messages

all our lives are hidden in pieces

on hand-held devices, our deities sleep

in white shrouds, compacted beneath

our bare feet, seclusion without faith. 

******
Enjoy,

Lily~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Appetite

You pass against the widening current

anticipate being swept up and captured

whirlpool of consumption, money makes

the world go round, boil over with hungry

empty mouths, yearn to be made whole

with one more item added to the collection

to separate yourself further from the sump

of destitution, you long to be complete.



All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

The beginning of something...

You watch the moving river
search for patterns, mark
meaning out of sun rays
breaking past dark clouds
winds promise warmer days
sultry whisper, unloosening
the knot, love was an easier
game to play, green windows
breakable with pebble throws,
barely holding it together
evaporating in traffic din...


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Winter: Pot Bound

Purple blossoms wither
fold upon yellow anthers
damp soil, jealous skies
tinted windows conspire
to encase the masses
organized in vertical
cubicles and Gucci
running knots, a red
balloon floats outside
long white strand
loose slopes, follows
along, steady higher
past the icy snow
frozen in the corners
of building tops that
careen down, shatter
across sidewalks
glittering fragments.

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

An Air of Abandonment

While a cup of tea grows cold
cops with assault rifles stand
on the corner of Broadway
we are meant to feel safe
their presence, my teeth on
edge, passing in a wide berth
broad smiles for the camera
tourists click, shutter, and stand
behind the metal partitions
there is safety in numbers
how many exactly will calm
the mob mentality on a threat-
level-orange winter day?


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.