In A Rut....

I'm in bit of an existential rut. I get it, this pandemic has everyone a bit loopy. As a introvert, I don't really mind the time alone in my Brooklyn apartment, for the most part. The problem is that it gives me too much time to think. Too much time to contemplate the state of the world. And it plays over and over in the mind like an old Chinese water torture...drip, drip, drip...right between my eyes. I have too much time for navel gazing and you know how I get...a bit muddled to say the least. I've been reading light novels and re-watching Farscape for escapist fantasy. But I've reached my limit with escapist fantasies. What happens when one has reached their limit? That's right, reality comes crashing through and rudely interrupts to gain one's attention. I watch way too many hours of CNN. It seeps into my brain matter and sucks away any semblance of hope. I look at the state of the world and it fills me with despair, the soul-wrenching kind. Even now as I type these words my throat is clenched and my eyes are filled with unshed tears. I feel the rage of injustice coursing through my body.

I have learned in my studies that these times are cyclical. We will forge ahead and create a new reality as the global consciousness is raised to the next paradigm. Change is painful only when we a grasping to the old ways. There are people who want to unplug, remove themselves from the pain but what they don't understand is that they are not separate from this web of reality. We are all interconnected. We are part of a larger community, we are part of a global community. And we sorely need better leaders. A community of leaders who will blaze through these troubled times. Leaders who will light the way through the darkness, not for their own selfish reasons but for the good of humanity. I've been feeling too cynical for too long, hence the existential rut. I want a better vision for our future. My nieces and nephew need a better world, a place they can sink their teeth into, a better tomorrow. 

From Paulo Freir's Pedagogy of the Oppressed, he writes, "In order for the oppressed to be able to wage the struggle for their liberation, they must perceive the reality of oppression not as a closed world from which there is no exit, but as a limiting situation which they can transform....it must become the motivating force for liberating action." There is so much work to be done. More to come. 

-L

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2020 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

A Most Wanted Man

I know I'm late on the upswing on this movie, it's been out for months and months but I finally saw A Most Wanted Man last weekend.  What an amazing film!  Phillip Seymour Hoffman is subtle and nuanced in this role and Robin Wright as the American counterpart is flawless.  It's filled with tense political intrigue and the ending made me gasp out loud. Truly. There is something about these spy movies that have always captivated me. I wouldn't have the stones to be in that life.  Who could you trust?  The world is such a dark and twisted place full of enemies of the state and national security is always at stake, how could anyone sleep at night? Ever?

Of course, this makes me think about how Power needs to create an "other"/ an enemy in order to justify torture, murder, rape all in the name of nationalist or religious rhetoric.  Wow!  How did I get here on this one?  You get my drift though, political structures and tactics created for the sake of power.  Maintaining that power.  Ends justifying the means.  We create this fear and FEAR is contagious.  I've gone down the rabbit hole. I won't go on tho'.  That's for a different entry on another blog.  :-)

Peace, L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2014 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

A Bit of a Rant

I should start off this entry by saying I am a bit of a news junkie. Might explain why I can’t sleep at night. So I read Chrystia Freeland’s Op-Ed piece “The Lottery Mentality” on New York Times online.

It’s a crazy coincidence because I was just thinking about this Tuesday night. There is this mentality in working class communities that when one talks about retirement plans someone will take out a lottery ticket from their back pocket and say, “got it right here.” Tuesday night I was thinking about that retirement plan, it could have been that Mega Lotto was up to $244 million dollars. I didn’t play BUT I was thinking about that chunk of change. After all, being a poet and making a living solely off that discipline doesn’t come easy. Just a fact of life and in these economic times when government is looking at cutting back on funding for the arts, we, creative types, will have to find new solutions to generate income. So when I worry about money (can’t help the financial anxiety that hits me late at night) my thoughts move to spending $244 million dollars (that I haven’t quite won yet.)

You see, I think of that lottery money and think about the arts organizations that would benefit from some sizeable donations. Non-profits that could flourish. Spread the wealth. Allow communities to prosper. We have so many people in this country starving…and I’m not just talking about the artists. America is supposed to be one of the riches countries and yet we are cutting back support at every turn because people with high substantial incomes do not want to pay more taxes. So where do politicians dig into? The working and middle class of this country.

This working class and middle class have been diminishing with every financial crisis. Americans have to take a cold hard look at what’s not working. And just for the record, this is not Obama’s fault!! In fact, the Bush administrations (both) did so much damage that Obama’s administration has been trying to put out fires ever since. Not to mention, the in-fighting in the Senate against this administration has been ridiculous. Although I disagree with Obama’s decision, air strikes on Libya…I think this presidency has been tied into a straight jacket. He sincerely thought he could make the necessary changes from the inside but this system has long been broken. Just take a look at health care reform.

I was reading through some of the comments to this op-ed and there were a few who go straight to the fact that Americans are stupid. Although my cynical nyc-side wants to agree, I think it goes deeper than that. I think we have bought into this cultural myth that Americans can pull ourselves by our boots straps and overcome all difficulties on our own (singular). And when we can’t quite do that, we self-blame (I can’t get a break) or blame others (it’s the immigrants who are stealing our jobs.) I’m a first-generation Mexican-American born and raised in this country. My folks came to NYC to give us, their children, better opportunities. I get the myth because I grew up with it. However, what I have learned in my travels is that you can’t do this alone.

This lottery dream is crazy unrealistic. Yep, I get that. Instead, we have to really start working within our communities to get through this hard time. I’m not just talking about our friends…who we all love and adore…but rather extending our circles so that we are working cooperatively. We can barter our time, our resources to put energy into common projects. This doesn’t have to be just about the cash in our pockets, we can bring so much more to the table. Why wait until things get worse? What can these co-ops look like? Working garden collectives…we have to start growing our own food resources again especially in cities. Solar energy cooperatives…look to see what the group in DC is doing: http://mtpleasantsolarcoop.org/. Or Center for Anti-Violence Education (CAE) in Brooklyn.

The possibilities are endless and I for one want to start thinking of positive changes because the alternative is too depressing. For example, clean water initiatives in NYC. We have amazing water filtration system for NYC but what if we were to lose power for a couple of weeks, what then? With so many people living in the metro area do we have alternative sources of energy to keep the water filtration system going? Or I read another article in Reality Sandwich about how much good produce gets thrown out into the garbage from big food centers like Whole Foods and Trader Joes to make room for incoming product. Anyone want to take up that cause and see if they could get Whole Foods to donate that food to any number of shelters in the area? I mean really we are wasting so much time and energy watching Charlie Sheen lose his s***t instead of creating change in our communities. We can do so much better and I’m tired of waiting for our elected officials to stop bickering long enough to get it right. I may be preaching to the choir here but I needed to get that off my chest. 

"The oppressors do not favor promoting the community as a whole, but rather selected leaders." — Paulo Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed)

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.