Writing vs. Laundry

11:30 am on Saturday and I am procrastinating on writing with laundry. Even writing this blog entry is about not working on my novel. Ergh! It's that thing that I need to work on but it feels like work so I'm avoiding.  This week I've been distracted with life, concerts, dating, poetry readings and now I'm trying to catch up with myself. Good thing, right?

The problem with catching up with myself is that all those feelings that I've been distracting myself from are now sitting in the forefront. They are just feelings and they will pass but breaking off with my last gf has left me feeling shitty. I just miss her company.  Bleck!!  :-P
Am I using this "feeling shitty" as an excuse not to write?  Damn Skippy!

I finished reading Barbara Kingsolver's Flight Behavior.  God! She's such an amazing writer and altho' I did not like her last title Lacuna...this book..this book...was magic.  These are her opening lines to Flight Behavior:

A certain feeling comes from throwing your good life away, and it is one part rapture. Or so it seemed for now, to a woman with flame-colored hair who marched uphill to meet her demise.  Innocence was no part of this.  She knew her own recklessness and marveled, really, at how one hard little flint of thrill could outweigh the pillowy, suffocating aftermath of a long disgrace.  

There are moments in this book that broke me open, dug into the middle of my chest and crushed the air out of my lungs.  The suffocating emotions she evoked were carved out of this stark small town landscape and the monarch butterflies were the catalyst to Dellarobia Turnbow's transformation.  Kingsolver has a way of crushing together hard science, the natural world and the human species into a tangible relationship. Beautifully written. I found myself choking back unexpected tears.

Okay, enough procrastinating.  Time to face my novel.
Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Lines of Poetry and Live Music

Wednesday night.  I have lines of poetry circling around in my head.  They are zygotes of an idea, not yet ready to be put down on a page.  I'll have my notebook next to my pillow when the lines wake me up. *yawn*  I'm ready for bed but I wanted to write a few more lines.

Tuesday night was fantastic.  Loved seeing Tegan and Sara at Pier 26.  I belted out every song in full voice 'cause I could. And yes I hopped around for a little bit too.  Tegan wore a t-shirt with a Tempest emblem...remember that old Atari arcade game.  It made me crush on her a little bit more for it.  At one point, one of the audience members (male hipster) who was standing next to me, said "Holy f**k, you knew every song." I said, "Hell Yeah!  I came to see them." I left soon after...the fun. crowd was making things a little too tight for my taste.  God! I really wish I could get over this claustrophobia I get during concerts.  I was way up in the front because I was there to see T&S...but once folks started pushing forward to get a closer spot to see fun. I was done!! I scrambled my 5'2" frame outta there and found the nearest water station 'cause I was hot and faint.  Anyway, the one decent pic that I got of T&S I've uploaded here:

July 23, 2013 at Pier 26 in New York City

I'm also attaching WHERE DOES THE GOOD GO...I always love when they sing this song live. Yay!!

Rock on people, rock on!!

L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Writing Theme

Sunday. The reading yesterday really moved me.  I am so glad I went! There were some very amazing pieces. Very individual and personal stories that actually made me glad to be part of this tribe of writers. Woohoo!!

Monday. Today I spent an hour and half writing. I circled and circled around several pages because they're not working.  I wrote it out...and then wrote new sections...then crossed out big sections...then re-worked it again...and it's waiting to be typed into the manuscript.  But even as I write these words I still know it's not there yet. I'm hoping with the next pass it will begin to take better shape.  Ergh.

Tuesday.  Tomorrow I am going to see Tegan and Sara in concert.  Very excited!! I bought this tickets back in the spring and I'm finally...finally going to see them.  Very stoked!!  It's supposed to rain tomorrow and it's an outside venue so I haven't quite figured out what shoes to wear yet since I'm going directly after work. Hmmm.  Still thinking...can you smell the smoke?

That's all I've got for tonight.

Peace~
L**


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Sunday

Sunday. As I type these lines Pandora is lying next to my laptop trying to nudge me into giving her some more treats.  Her thyroid condition is still out of whack so she is HUNGRY ALL-THE-TIME.  She woke me up at five this morning to get her first meal of the day.  And then second breakfast happened 20 minutes ago.  Plus treats and meds. I'm hoping her meds will even her out soon.

Let's see I spent Saturday working on my novel. I didn't even tell myself that I was going to work on it, I just opened up the folder and opened up the document and I started typing. If I had known I was going to work on it, I would have convinced myself to do anything else. In the quiet of my basement room I was able to revise half a chapter.  *sigh* This is such a slow process because I'm realizing, I am a SLOW writer.  My friend Christine calls it SLOGGING.  Hahaha.  What a great word!  And yes, that is what it feels like at times. I sometimes lose the fire for the project.  It's just an ember sometimes waiting for a soft gust of wind to bring the fire back.  Anyway, at least I put in a couple of hours into it yesterday.

After I finish this entry, I am going to face the page again.  Wish me luck!! I'm just going to put a little bit of time and hopefully the story takes over.  I just have to get out of the way of the story to do that.  Ergh!  Easier said than done.

This afternoon, I'm going to a poetry reading at Nuyorican Cafe with a good friend.  That should be fun! Poetry readings always pick me up when language is used in interesting ways.

On Tuesday night I am going to see fun at Pier 26 come rain or shine.  But really I'm going mostly to see their opening act...Tegan and Sara!!  Yay!!! Very excited!!  Hopping around as I listen to their music. It's the only time that I think I'm part rabbit.  I hear their music and it makes me want to hop.  teehee!!

God less than two weeks and the month of July is over. The summer is going by so quickly. And this temp gig will end soon too.  Ergh!  I'm going to have to shift gears again and start sending out some fresh resumes.  But who's going to read them in August?  Most people will be off on vacation.  Okay not the time to panic...back to my writing.

Peace,
L~



All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Celeste and Jesse Forever

I know I am a year late with this but I finally saw the movie Celeste and Jesse Forever.

I absolutely LOVED this movie.  It was at times quirky but really smart in the way they handled a relationship breaking up.  Rashida Jones is EXCELLENT!! And I loved that she is a flawed human being in this movie.  Instead of a barbie cut-out who says all the right things and makes all the right moves.  There are these wonderful quiet moments that just break your heart. Anyway, if you haven't seen it...you have to check it out.
Sweet!  Enuf said.
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Crazy Week

This past week has been challenging but for a change I've been able to keep sight of the silver lining. Monday I was told that my temp gig was going to end the next day, Tuesday.  Then Tuesday came and they asked me to stay for another month. Then this week Pandora was really sick.  Lots of vet visits, trying different meds to get her stabilized and sheer panic at seeing her so sick. At one point I thought I would have to put her down and then a total reversal. New meds, some steroids, stronger anti-nauseus pills and Pandora is almost back to her old self.  Stressful but relieved that she's doing better. There is more on the personal side but taking some time to sort it out.  Writing is non-existent since the week has been so crazed. Need some time to recharge.

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Resolved.

It's Sunday. Summer has barely begun and the days are so hot, I barely move.  I woke up writing lines of poetry in my head this morning. Now, I am sitting in front of a fan willing some synapses to fire to work on my novel. Pandora is curled up next to my computer.  She keeps me company when she thinks I'm getting ready for a long writing jag. I'm not sure that's really going to happen.  I am restless. I can hear the washing machine going in the back room. And the woman that I'm seeing is coming back into town later today and she's going to want to talk. Perhaps. The bravado I felt last night has abandoned me. Oh dear. So I need to keep busy. At the very least, work on something to get my mind from turning traitor. She gave me a catalog of new music to listen to and I haven't touch them yet. I didn't want the music to influence my resolve.
Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Odd Leaps

Helmut Newton, 1979

I've been dating again which is always odd at this stage in my life.  As I've gotten older, I'm realizing that I tend to be clearer about what I want and what I need from the kinds of relationships I enter. And communicating those wants, altho' at times is difficult, is necessary. When I was younger I just expected folks to read my mind, anticipate my needs and cater to me.  Isn't that what every little girl wants?

But god oh god, it's work to be upfront.  It takes effort to be even-keel enough to say, gosh this really isn't working and I'd like to re-negotiate some of the terms of this relationship. It really isn't easy, in fact it's downright uncomfortable and quite frankly sometimes those needs won't be met.  But it feels empowering to articulate those thoughts anyway.  I feel lit up from within because for a change I wasn't going to stay quiet. I've shed a few tears, spent time journaling through this process, and nothing is really resolved yet.

In fact, this feels more like the quiet before the storm but no matter what the outcome I'm putting into practice just being who I really am in a relationship.  The whole person part of me, both the vulnerable as well as the strong part of who I am. Glad I'm learning this lesson today and I'm sure I'll continue to work on this practice.  *big deep breath*  Just when I think I'm done taking big leaps...here presents a new opportunity.  Glad I haven't forgotten how to jump. :-)

Peace,

L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Soggy Monday

July 1st. Monday. The day is wet and overcast and I am feeling soggy. My mood seems to be joining in with the weather.

On reading--Last week, I finished reading Neil Gaiman's new novel, The Ocean at the End of the Lane.  It was quite wonderful and there is this one moment, when I felt the writer looking into the abyss and the abyss looking back. It gave me goosebumps. It swallowed that book whole, I couldn't put it down. I admire his craft of writing.

On writing--I have to trust myself with my work...go out on that limb called faith...'cause right now I seem to be shying away from the writing. I spent last Friday writing up all my post-it notes for Indigo into a two-page cheat sheet to help keep me straight on characters and back stories. And there are so many holes...I'm afraid I am trying to plug the holes up while the dam is ready to break open. I seem to be continuing on the being all wet analogy.

On movies--Okay, I also went to see Much Ado About Nothing by my favorite writer/director, Joss Whedon.  It was really entertaining to see his modern version of this play in movie form. I'm not sure if it all of it worked but it was great to see so many actors from his previous shows join him in this venture.  I loved Nathan Fillion...he made me laugh the hardest but I think that was supposed to happen.  And Amy Acker as Beatrice really worked for me (she needs to be in a lot more movies) but I found Alexis Denisof's portrayal of Benedick a bit lackluster...with the exception of that one moment when he's working out and spouting his monologue. The act of working out helped his delivery of those lines. I really loved Denisof in Buffy and Angel and I wanted him to be funnier I guess.

On television--Lastly, Ray Donovan finally started on Sunday night on Showtime.  LOVE Liev Schrieber in this show...but more importantly Katherine Moennig is playing his assistant Lena. This woman is hot and I like her kick back acting vibe. God bless the working lesbians out (of the closet) in Hollywood!!

Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.