The Grind

Today has been about the grind...working for the man...about keeping nose to the grindstone.  So in other words not a great day.  I promised myself to stop using this platform to whinge about life.  I'll do my best not to go down that rocky path.

So now I'm staring at the screen and just blinking at it...seriously.  If I can't gripe, then my brain goes blank.  What is that about?  It's almost as if I can't start the conversation without a complaint on my lips, well in this case fingertips.

I'm working on this very particular project at my day job where I am supposed to look up and write about powerful influential women around the world.  Easy enough, I go onto the 2010 Forbes list and take a few key women and do some internet research and give a blurb on them, in 500 words or less.  Fine.  I spent the better part of the day doing this.  Instead of inspiring me, it's done the opposite.  Bleck!  :-P  It's left me in a bad mood about how little I'm accomplishing at the moment.  *arms crossed with a scowly frown upon my face*

Then, on the train home, I am reading a peer's manuscript, just making notations in the margins so I can give some specific feedback.  The young African-American woman who is sitting next to me, not more than 19 years old, takes a glance over.  She gives a big sigh, rolls her eyes, turns to her boyfriend who is sitting beside her and says pretty loudly, "oh god she's reading a novel, how boring!  Who has time for that shit anyway."  Being in the crotchety mood I was already in, I chose that moment to ignore her and keep reading.  But as I sat there I start to wonder about young readers and if this is their attitude to the written language then what the heck am I doing wasting my time writing?!  LOL!!  No, seriously!  The randomness of this encounter affected me.  Her flip comment, for just a moment, put me into an existential crisis. The universe was having a laugh at me today.

You see, after reading about powerful women who are making global contributions, I thought, what am I doing?  Why can't I use this brain of mine for something a bit more substantial than writing fiction.  I even thought, maybe I should go back to school and get my doctorate in eco-politics and environmental sciences. Hmmm.  Deep?  Maybe not so much. Maybe I'm just running away from the page. The novel-writing business isn't easy.  So environmental sciences it is.  *hehehe*  Even writing it out and reading it back to myself, I can see the absurdity of it all.  But when it lives inside my brain it festers into something  else.  

My 15-year old niece not too long ago told me she was interested in going into theater: playwriting, working on stage crew, building sets, etc.  It took every ounce of willpower I possessed NOT to tell her "NOOOO! Going into theater will break your heart into a thousand pieces and then use those very pieces to ram down your throat!!"  Bitter, much?  I did NOT say those words out loud to her.  I did not discourage her.  I was a good auntie and told her to pursue whatever interests she wanted.  (I think that's what I said to her).

I digress...I guess if I can be supportive of my niece in her pursuit of exploring theater then I really have to learn to be supportive of my own work as a writer.  If I can be a super cheerleader for every member of my own writing group and every newbie writer I meet then I need to believe in my own hype.  Voilá!

Universe, I got the lesson...

All for now...keep on keeping on.

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Curious minds

I am currently working on caffeinating myself awake. I tossed and turned until ~2:30 am with a 6:30 am wake up call. Four hours of sleep…blah! ;-p. I tried a bit of writing but my brain wasn’t really cooperating so I let that go after a short while. I am restless and this constant rain does not help my melancholy disposition.

So after my family lunch on Saturday, I walked over to Barnes and Noble and wandered around. I went to the last floor which has books of poetry and science fiction in close proximity and came across some of Michio Kaku’s books; a physicist who has co-authored papers on string field theory. I’ve wanted to pick up his books for a while because he discusses the possibilities or impossibilities of science fiction technology. I’m not a scientist by any stretch of the imagination but I am curious and fascinated by both quantum physics and string field theory. I can take it in small doses because my poor brain goes into meltdown mode if I try to contemplate the notion of parallel universes for too long. But Kaku has a way of making very complex scientific material accessible to a neophyte like me. Intellectual curiosity…I’ve got this trait in sheer abundance. There is a fine line between letting my imagination stretch and knowing too much information… not sure what that line is yet…but I’ll let you know as soon as I’ve gotten there. Anyway, I digress, so I bought up three of Kaku’s titles: Physics of the Impossible, Parallel Worlds and Hyperspace. Hoorah!! I have an inkling of a new story in the back of my head and I’ll need to start jotting down some of these notes on index cards.

I also picked up Finch by Jeff VanderMeer. I’ve been reading his non-fiction title BookLife and he has an interesting way of using language and humor. So I thought I would see how his fiction reads. I think Finch is also his first book as a full-time writer. As in no longer working a side/day job to make ends meet but rather have a whole day stretch before him to work on his novel. He did write in BookLife that he barely left his apartment or spoke to anyone for 3 months finishing up his novel, which I think is pretty cool (for lack of a better phrase ‘cause I’m barely awake). Hence, my curiosity.

All right, so despite buying up these new titles, do you think I had presence of mind to put any one of these titles into my bag this morning….uhm, nope! So when I go into my bag this morning, on the train to work, I think I’m going to pull out a Kaku title only to find my bag empty. Drat!! I had also taken out my working pages of my novel and left them on my desk at home. Double drat!!
I need another cup of tea and move around a bit before I fall asleep with my eyes wide open.

Peace,

Lily~



All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Wilted State

I can't sleep tonight.  
I went to see the newest remake of Jane Eyre.  There is something about period movies that makes my romantic sensibilities lose control.  Directed by Cary Joji Fukunaga, screenplay written by Moira Buffini. 
The language was lush and the quiet moments hummed with intensity.  Visually stunning, landscape as stark and bare as the protagonist.  Declarations of love, poetic.  The loneliness and longing so palpable it takes a strangle hold and dares not let go. Left in its wake is me in a bit of a wilted state.  I guess it does no good to wallow.  Must get some rest...


Peace,


L~    

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Rain, rain, go away....

Saturday morning and I am sitting in front of this post trying to come up with something interesting to write.  Can you smell the smoke?
 
Let's see, writing group went well last night, I had decent feedback. I'm not sure how to address some of their comments within the story yet.  I'll just have to think on it.  I plan on writing today but I've had a late start and I have a family lunch to go to shortly.

My niece Gexy turned 15 this week.  I can't believe I am an aunt to a 15-year old teen.  When did that happen?  And can we stop the aging process please?  Like right now.  She had her first student show at Pratt's Saturday Art Program last Saturday and I am blown away at her talent.  Gexy has a quirky brain and I like being surprised by her interpretation of the way she sees the world. Interesting to say the least.

I'm trying to organize my brain to what to do after lunch.  There are errands to run, kitty litter to buy and box to clean out.  There are chores in the house to take care of...blah!  This is the time when I most need someone else to take care of that for me.  Who am I kidding?  I'm sure I will tackle it when I get back from lunch this afternoon.  And fit in some writing.  Hmmm maybe I'm approaching this all wrong.  Perhaps today I'll try to fit in the chores and just write.  If I want to finish this novel this year, I need to make the most of my weekends on this project.  Yes, my head is on straight now.

Which reminds me, someone sent me a manuscript of their novel and I'd also like to take a read of that as well.  I'll convert it into a PDF and upload it onto my Nook.  And there is also Kathe Koja's book, Under the Poppy.  I've been wanting to read this book for ages but I was waiting for some down time.

All right, I'm off to a birthday lunch.

Peace,

Lily


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Sticky ZZZZZZZZZZ

Last night, writing was a bit grueling. Let me rephrase that. I’m dealing with a difficult scene. On the one hand, I was able to carve out some language and incorporate some new ideas after last week’s feedback. On the other hand, after two hours of work, I only had 790 words added to the chapter. It was going but each new sentence or turn of phrase came out painfully s-l-o-w. My first reaction after 2 hours of work was “that’s it?!” But a teeny voice in the back of my brain was celebrating. It means two more hours of work on a manuscript that was neglected for a week while I transitioned to my new place. It means 790 more words than I had the day before. It means that I have worked every day this week since Sunday on this story. It means I am that much closer to finishing it. So the teeny voice is getting heard for a change. Phew!

It’s a grey day in Noo Yawk Sitty and the low grade migraine that I have had for the past three days is slowly…very slowly starting to subside. I know there is a storm front heading our way and once the storm passes, I hope this migraine will go with it. My skin has felt cold and clammy these last couple of days. Cold damp weather is not good for the Kapha constitution. Blah! Ooo it just started raining. It’s a light foggy misty kind of rain. A wimpy kind of rainwater that barely leaves drops on the windows. Meanwhile, my very straight hair (heavily weighed down with product) is frizzing up. Dammit!! Hehehe.

Uhm gosh, what else? Oh yes, I accidently spilled a cup of my tea onto my work station’s keyboard yesterday. So now the letter ZZZZZZZZ gets stuck. I tried to wipe it down with paper towels and I thought I managed to dry it all but alas I think all the nasty dusty crud has mingled with the sugar from my tea to make it a sticky ZZZZZZZZZZ. What crap, I may have to go in with a damp cloth between the key spacing to clear it out. Bleck! As you can see I am very busy with very important tasks at my day job. All right, I guess I need to get my day started.

Peace,

Lily

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

It's been a minute since I last wrote a blog entry

Gosh, it’s been a minute since I last wrote a blog entry. Let me start off with the writing. I took my first chapter to my writing group last Friday. They gave me some excellent feedback, both on what’s working and what’s not working. The holes in the logic of the science that I thought I had worked through apparently still have some problems. It was important for me to hear their feedback and it’s already helped on how I’m compensating in the upcoming chapters. I like figuring out ways to change/adjust the story accordingly. I also have to adjust timeline. I thought I had figured out the dates properly but after their feedback, I can see the mess. Hehehe. But I am not disheartened in fact their positive feedback has motivated me to finish Chapter 2 so I can bring to writing group this week.

On Sunday, for the first time since I’ve moved into the new space, I worked on my manuscript for three long, quiet hours. It was a slice of heaven. My sister Vick went to the museum then to yoga so I had the place all to myself. And I worked straight through until lunchtime. Then I took a much needed break and spent some time stretching. I spend way too many hours in front of a computer so it helped to move and twist my body a bit.

I also wanted to share a bit of the NYFA function I attended on Friday. It was great fun and I managed to meet four new artists at the event. A sculptor, a filmmaker and a couple of painters, oh my! I saw some of my fellow bootcampers at this little shin dig so did some catching up with Ged, Rachel and Katy. But I was completely fascinated by the sculptor who wants to write. T. is from Argentina so English is her second language but I encouraged her to write anyway. To just do it! We, creative types, need to spend time exploring those internal nudges. It’s honoring the impulse and if the call is strong enough then we should take a risk, take a leap of faith and see where we land. She has written one page so far and I hope she continues. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain by answering the call that beckons us. Am I being woo-hoo enough?! All right, I’m off my soap box…gosh, I can’t help myself. I just want to see artists thrive and succeed in their creative pursuits. Seriously!!

Anyway, that’s all she wrote today…gotta get back to the admin grind.

Peace,


Lily~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Waking Up to a Sunrise

This morning, I woke up with the sunrise. The sky was orange and purply. It was lush and then I turned around in bed and slept for another hour. I wasn’t quite set to get ready for work. That’s usually the moment when I just want to stay home and do my own work.

It’s time to start writing again. I’m antsy and I’ve missed working on my novel this past week. I still have two and half boxes left to unpack. The things in these last boxes have been difficult to figure out where to put away. I’ve run out of closet space. I may just need to start throwing things out. Eeek!! Attached much? Just a bit.

For example, I have this cool little stereo that plays CDs…but since I have most of my music on my computer, I hardly ever use an actual system anymore. And of course, I also have to figure out where I would put the darn thing. Small room, limited space. It looks like I will need one more bookshelf (or take back the one I gave my sister). That way I have somewhere to put books that I am currently using/reading etc. My brain keeps mulling over the possibilities. So if you’ve seen me on the train these days with a faraway look, I’m probably thinking of where the last bit of things will fit in. It’s like one big jigsaw puzzle. Hehehe.

So back to writing. Yes, must get back on track. I think I’ve been waiting for things to settle down. I have felt, for the past week, like my life was still up in the air being in the new space. I guess I just needed time to adjust or at the very least unpack the rest of the boxes. Erck! Who knew one person could have so much crap?

This weekend, I’ll finish clearing out the space, give the apartment a good cleaning and then I’m back to working on my story again. Yay! I can’t wait.

All for now...


L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

A Wet, Windy, Wednesday

It’s a wet, windy, Wednesday. This day was not made for umbrellas.

What is there to report? I still have five and a half boxes to unpack. Yep, I found one more. The last couple of days have been about trying to figure out where to put my writing desk. Initially, I had it in the living room but I realized that I have really gotten used to writing in my own room. I’m trying hard not to be so high maintenance. At the end of the day, I just want a quiet room to hear myself think.

Yesterday, I treated myself with a much needed massage. I didn’t realize how tight my neck and shoulders were until I was on the table. This is the first time in a long while that I have been flush enough to treat myself. So yay!!  I’m sure my accountant would tsk-tsk at me with a pointed finger and all but I’m on a new self-care kick. See me roar!! Rawr!!  And big thank you to Elise Constantine, masseuse extraordinaire...she's amazing!!

On another note, Friday I have writing group and I’m finally going to bring in my first chapter. I’m nervous and excited about it. Let’s see how it goes. Every time I think about it, I can feel my heart pound in my chest…yes, a little nervous indeed.

I also have a function to attend Friday night in Chelsea. I’m not really sure what will be appropriate wear …ergh…I’m going straight from work to writing group then straight to a cocktail-type party. Let’s see how I can finagle my way through those events, at least it’s not supposed to rain. I should knock on wood because with my luck it will pour. Hehehe.

My plan for tonight is to do some yoga/stretching, finish unpacking, spend some time on my novel (not necessarily in that order), read and drink lots of hot water with lemon. Yep, we don’t have cable or internet access at the moment so there is plenty to do with no media distractions. That’s all I’ve got for today.

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Moving Day!

OMG! If I never have to take down and build up another Ikea bookshelf, I’ll be so very grateful. It’s been a crazy weekend moving into my new digs with my sister. Every muscle in my body aches…so I am keeping the ibuprofen companies in business. Not to mention all the nicks, cardboard cuts, black-and blue bruises I’ve got up and down my arms and legs.

We managed to unpack most of the boxes yesterday. I’m down to the last four boxes and V is down to her last two. We definitely have to organize the living room and couple of the closets, since we were working on just getting the boxes unpacked. My sis is already threatening to throw out my couch. :-(  I love that couch even if it is worn down and ready to be thrown out. Hehehe. Well for now it stays put.

My family helped out a great deal and for that I want to give them a big shout out!! Thank you!!

We won’t have cable or internet access until the 22nd. Bleck!! Who knew I was so addicted to technology. I’ve tried using WiFi to steal some airtime but everyone has their access on lockdown. WTH? I could always walk down to Starbies but I’m not in the mood to watch a streaming movie in a café quite yet.

Today is a mild but foggy day. I gotta tell you, it doesn’t even seem to matter that the day is so grey! I’m feeling really good about being in a new space, even if I am tired as all get out and despite our little bumps this weekend, living with my sister Vick will be fine. I say this now let’s see what these blog entries look like in a couple of months.

Tonight, I am going to finish unpacking the last of the boxes and start organizing my desk area and art supplies. I want to pitch my paintings. I just don’t really have a place to store them. Hmmm. I’ll have to think on that one. I’m sure I can come up with a solution. Oooo, I just got an inkling of an idea. I also need to make a list of what is missing from the apartment. *big yawn* My day has barely started but I’m too tired to get started.

I am hoping to find some time tonight to do a little writing and little stretching…not necessarily in that order. Let’s see how the day unfolds.

Peace,


Lily


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

A Good Chunk of Pages

I’ll start off by sharing that I didn’t do any writing on Tuesday night. I had some errands to run for this upcoming move on Saturday. Boogie down Bronx, here I come. I checked out the apartment and what will be my room and I’m both pleased and excited that it’s finally happening. There is nothing like feeling stuck in a holding pattern to put one in a grumpy mood. But I see light at the end of the tunnel and can’t wait to settle into my new digs.

Yesterday was another story altogether. It was a slow day at work so I managed to copyedit a couple of pages which had my wheels turning on the next section until I reached home. I was able to write up another 725 words on the novel. I filled in some of those spaces that I rushed through during my first draft. I still haven’t even reached the large section that I’m going to cut yet. So all that added text is crucial to getting this story to novel length. It’s all rolling along.

I think I’ll have a good chunk of pages to bring to my writing group on April 15th. We are gearing up to start up our meetings again after a four-week hiatus. I’m excited to show them this work. I’ve only allowed one person to take a look at my shitty first draft (first 10 pages) but that’s it. Eeek! Yes, a bit nervous but they are really very encouraging so I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Last bit, I wanted to give a shout out to those of you who have been lending your support during these past weeks. It’s such a motivator to know that folks are out there rooting for me. So a big thank you, I’m feeling the love and really appreciating it. *big cheesy smile*

Uhm yep, I think that’s all she wrote today. It’s a grey rainy Wednesday but life is good.

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Good morning...good morning...*singing voice*

It’s a grey rainy Tuesday. I walked out of my house this morning to find an orange sky striped with bands of dark clouds. If it wasn’t pouring, I would have taken a pic. And since I don’t believe in umbrellas, * smile* I made a mad dash for the subway 10 blocks away. Slightly soaked, uhm yup.

I’m in a good mood this morning, which is not like me at all. I’m not what you call a morning person. In fact, I really dislike talking to people before 10 am. I need two strong cups of tea before I can venture into the human population without wanting to rip someone’s head off. No, seriously. And I’ve only just begun to have my first cup of tea of the day.

Yesterday night, I worked on my novel from about 6:45 pm until 11 pm. I worked slowly and methodically through my next seven pages (pages 16 through 23). It wasn’t just a line edit but a revamping of several scenes. I managed to delete chunks of text and rewrite segments so that the technology and the relationships seem plausible. I wrote up a good 1,500 words but after all the cuts, the word count was up by only 390 words. I dug deep and I wanted to flesh out the characters with their shared history. I was wired and tired by the time I finished.

Lying in bed, I tossed and turned for awhile. My brain wouldn’t decompress and I kept running scenarios in my head for the next section. There are two main elements that need to be cut…the scavengers (which only make one small appearance and they are really not needed) and Castle (main character) at an empty squad base. I think when I wrote it, I didn’t know where I wanted her to go. Now that I know where she’s going to wind up next, I can make a straight shot for the next location.

Something else came up as I was getting ready for work this morning. Initially, I had one enemy in mind and as I wrote up some of this second character’s background last night, motives changed. A new direction has opened up for this story and I’m excited about working out this new narrative line. Hmm, it’s a good day to work on writing but there is much to do for my upcoming move this weekend. Argh! I could really use an assistant to help me pack while I work on the writing. Volunteers? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

I have to get my day started.


Peace,



L~

P.S.  I wrote this entry up really quickly so excuse any typos.  :-) 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

A Bit of News to Share

Brooklyn Paramount #1
March 2011

By the Overpass #1

Spring 2011

Two amazing literary magazines came out this Spring.
I'm excited to announce that I have work in both of them.

Brooklyn Paramount holds two poems:
1. my problem not yours
2. Increments
This lit. magazine has work by Stephanie Gray, Uche Nduka, Jamey Jones, Ann Waldman, Lewis Warsh, Christine Francavilla, Tamara Lebron and John Casquarelli just to name a few.  I just received my copy so I can't wait to read everyone's work.

By The Overpass holds Carping On, a color print of a larger acrylic painting.  It looks amazing!!  I'm really pleased by the way it looks in the context of this literary magazine.

Peace,

Lily~



All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Writing update

Yesterday, I started my second draft of my novel.  I managed to get through the first 10.5 pages and I was able to add another 606 words to add color and texture to some of the initial relationships with characters.  I also managed to delete chunks of excess verbage.  I'm going to set again some small goals.  I'm going to work through this novel a little bit every day.  I know I can manage that without shutting down.

Today, I continued with the next 5 pages and managed to add another 409 words...Yay!  Some of the holes I've been getting from the story are starting to flesh out with a couple of sentences.  And they seem to be doing the trick.  Good!  The progress feels tangible.  Two days of working on the story and I'm not in the fetal position...yes, that's what I call progress.

Anyway, this is just a short catch up note to let you know I'm still working.  Phew!!

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Music soothes the savage beast

Gosh, what a difficult week.

The one constant has been good music.  I'm obsessed with good singers at the moment.  As some of you may know, I recently discovered Adele's, Rolling in the Deep, wrote an entry on it last month.  Then Tony told me to check out Gregory Douglass's cover of Adele's, Set Fire to the Rain. I gotta tell you, I'm liking his version better.  Check out his video on youtube:

Gregory's voice is just beautiful.  Love it!!  If you do too...You can get the single on iTunes: http://bit.ly/h5NUrB

Then on Thursday night Sara Ramirez sang "The Story" on Grey's Anatomy.  I liked her version because of the melodramatic flair...but that's the Latin blood talking. This beautiful Chicana has an amazing voice.  I didn't realize how brilliant until now.  Which of course led me to find another track by Sara called "Break My Heart." It's crazy good and you should have a listen in case you were looking for something new.

Last one...but I almost don't want to admit to this one. Carla Bruni (sound familiar? Italian model, now wife of current president of France).  Yep that one.  In 2003, she had this really sweet sounding song called "Quelqu-un m'a Dit."  I think the rasp-iness to her voice is like vin doux.  Anyway, I listen to this song and it makes me sigh.  

Hope you enjoy these tasty treats...peace and much love.

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.