Odd Leaps

Helmut Newton, 1979

I've been dating again which is always odd at this stage in my life.  As I've gotten older, I'm realizing that I tend to be clearer about what I want and what I need from the kinds of relationships I enter. And communicating those wants, altho' at times is difficult, is necessary. When I was younger I just expected folks to read my mind, anticipate my needs and cater to me.  Isn't that what every little girl wants?

But god oh god, it's work to be upfront.  It takes effort to be even-keel enough to say, gosh this really isn't working and I'd like to re-negotiate some of the terms of this relationship. It really isn't easy, in fact it's downright uncomfortable and quite frankly sometimes those needs won't be met.  But it feels empowering to articulate those thoughts anyway.  I feel lit up from within because for a change I wasn't going to stay quiet. I've shed a few tears, spent time journaling through this process, and nothing is really resolved yet.

In fact, this feels more like the quiet before the storm but no matter what the outcome I'm putting into practice just being who I really am in a relationship.  The whole person part of me, both the vulnerable as well as the strong part of who I am. Glad I'm learning this lesson today and I'm sure I'll continue to work on this practice.  *big deep breath*  Just when I think I'm done taking big leaps...here presents a new opportunity.  Glad I haven't forgotten how to jump. :-)

Peace,

L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Soggy Monday

July 1st. Monday. The day is wet and overcast and I am feeling soggy. My mood seems to be joining in with the weather.

On reading--Last week, I finished reading Neil Gaiman's new novel, The Ocean at the End of the Lane.  It was quite wonderful and there is this one moment, when I felt the writer looking into the abyss and the abyss looking back. It gave me goosebumps. It swallowed that book whole, I couldn't put it down. I admire his craft of writing.

On writing--I have to trust myself with my work...go out on that limb called faith...'cause right now I seem to be shying away from the writing. I spent last Friday writing up all my post-it notes for Indigo into a two-page cheat sheet to help keep me straight on characters and back stories. And there are so many holes...I'm afraid I am trying to plug the holes up while the dam is ready to break open. I seem to be continuing on the being all wet analogy.

On movies--Okay, I also went to see Much Ado About Nothing by my favorite writer/director, Joss Whedon.  It was really entertaining to see his modern version of this play in movie form. I'm not sure if it all of it worked but it was great to see so many actors from his previous shows join him in this venture.  I loved Nathan Fillion...he made me laugh the hardest but I think that was supposed to happen.  And Amy Acker as Beatrice really worked for me (she needs to be in a lot more movies) but I found Alexis Denisof's portrayal of Benedick a bit lackluster...with the exception of that one moment when he's working out and spouting his monologue. The act of working out helped his delivery of those lines. I really loved Denisof in Buffy and Angel and I wanted him to be funnier I guess.

On television--Lastly, Ray Donovan finally started on Sunday night on Showtime.  LOVE Liev Schrieber in this show...but more importantly Katherine Moennig is playing his assistant Lena. This woman is hot and I like her kick back acting vibe. God bless the working lesbians out (of the closet) in Hollywood!!

Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Reading...

It's 10:09 pm.   Almost the end of the day.

I finished reading Graham Joyce's new title, Some Kind of Fairy Tale.  It came out earlier this week.  It's the story about a woman, Tara Martin, who returns home after disappearing for twenty years.  When Joyce ventures into the Fey world he captures moments quite beautifully. This novel had some hits and misses for me.  Moments with thirteen year old Jack worked well.  And sad-sack Richie was handled nicely.  But the story felt uneven.  At times, it was missing some of the magic. I loved the quotes used at the beginning each chapter. When Tara becomes angry I am with her all the way and that was one of the stronger moments. I need to read more Joyce.

I'm still reading Ensouling Language. Taking it in slowly.

I've also been reading Kurt Vonnegut's Slapstick.  The story made me laugh out loud a few times while taking the train home from work.  But I've reached a point where the story went down the rabbit hole.  I'm not sure what to make of it yet.

That's all I really have for now...oh wait, one more thing...I really hate cardboard boxes.  Yep, now I'm done.

Peace,
L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.