gray morning

it's a gray morning and the office is quiet. i have no idea what my workload looks like because I am too busy staring out the window watching the sky. my muse is pitching a fit, cursing me out, trying to get a rise out of me. we are not on speaking terms at the moment despite her complaints. her expectations are unrelenting and the needle on my motivation is on empty. why, you ask. ideas float around the ether above my head, swirling around, tempting me, taunting me but when it's time to pin the words down on paper i find them slipping away like mercury. it's like waking up from a vivid dream, as soon as you start thinking about the details, the story escapes out the open window, never to be heard from again. my muse cries and cries wanting attention and all i do is drink wine and smoke the evening away. she threatens to leave and i shrug my shoulders and tell her, "so leave." she undresses instead and stays the night. i am neglectful, she will leave eventually and the story will wither on the vine. it's only a matter of time.




All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2017 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Lewis Capaldi - Lost On You

I listened to this song and then couldn't stop listening to it. Enjoy~



All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2017 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

summer showers

staring out the window, watching the sky. clouds move in sweeping arcs. rain comes down in blinding sheets. don't care what comes out of your mouth today. don't care what sounds you have uttered before. open wide, point upward, fill yourself up. tell all the travelers i'm dead. turn around, listen to the noise, escape unscathed once more. when you think of love, do you think of me? thunder moves through unrepentant. you're the reason why i feel at all. striking light across my eyes. you unfold sideways waiting for a reply that won't come anymore.


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2017 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

an unanswered call

I used to be better about keeping up with this web log. Lately, it's been relegated to the bottom of my to-do list...you remember, that same list that I was going to tear up. Part of it has been my day job has been keeping me busy so the last thing I want to do at night is get on a computer. Another part of it has been this blog was always supposed to be about the creative process, yes some personal tidbits would fall in but for the most part it was about creativity.  Since I have NOT been working creatively, well let's just say I have less to write about.

I have been actively reading...I just finished The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. It was an interesting read because she told her story in a matter-of-fact way. Her background as a reporter helped create some distance so that her story never felt self-pitying. And there was a couple of heartbreaking moments that resonated long after I closed the book. Well worth the read. 

I haven't started reading a new book yet. I have quite a few of them piled up by my bedside. My brain won't turn off long enough to take on a new book. The grey matter has been beating down my door trying to get me to work on something of my own. And for some reason, I keep ignoring the call. It reminds me of this fact: "the universe will throw pebbles to get your attention, and if you don't answer the call it will throw rocks, and if you don't answer the call it will throw bricks, etc, etc."  Where is that from? Probably Oprah. Well the whole damn sky is about to rip open and I'm still navel gazing, pulling the old ostrich maneuver, unable to muster a good god damn to make anything happen. Why?

There is no good reason, only lame excuses and why bore you with those. My muse is dancing on the sidelines asking me to come play and I am picking at the peeling wallpaper replying, "I don't wanna." Bah! Even I get a bit impatient with myself. 
Peace,
L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2017 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

080117 16:36:00

I'm in a sulky mood today and I've had too much caffeine. Which makes me want to throw a temper tantrum. You know the kind where you throw yourself on the floor, kicking and screaming. Is it over a specific reason?  Not necessarily.  Just feeling frustrated down to my bones.  I am overworked and on slow days like today I have a difficult time standing still.

I went onto Goodreads, which is a great resource when looking for decent book recommendations, and I read a number of excerpts and story arc blurbs...bah! And I saw the long list of titles by an author or two and think to myself, "where do they find the time?" Good lord, I've been working on Indigo for 7 years...and I'm ready to throw the whole project into a shredder. * head in hands *

Note to self: do not drink iced coffee after 3 pm EVER. I feel like a LIVE WIRE! I don't usually drink coffee but someone showed me how to use the espresso machine...so I made myself an iced coffee with a shot of espresso. Now my face feels like it's going to crack off.

I'm currently reading The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. The writing is strong so I'm enjoying this memoire. I know it's supposed to come out in movie form soon but I think I'll skip the movie.


All for now,
L~



All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2017 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Elle King - Can't Be Loved

Just because...

L~



All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2017 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.