How I Learned to Drive by Paula Vogel

Last Friday, I went to see the play, How I Learned to Drive written by Paula Vogel. The piece is about an affair between its protagonist Li'l Bit, and her uncle Peck. It takes place over the course of years, with the character of Li'l Bit maturing from age eleven to eighteen before she puts an end to it. Before I went to see this piece, I knew the playwright approached the pedophilia subject matter in an ambiguous way. In fact, I was interested in the ambiguity.

However, this play just went too far into the other direction. I don’t know if it was the stage direction or the material itself but at one point, the young girl was held responsible for the uncle’s “indiscretion”. I began reading some of the behind -the-scene material about how the actors broached the subject matter and Norbert Butz talks about the play being a love story. I really wrestle with this description because sexual abuse of minors and it’s long lasting impact cannot be justified with this idea of love. After all, pedophiles love their young victims.

I understand this play was controversial when it first came out. I read somewhere that Vogel took Nabikov’s Lolita and tried to tell the story from Lolita’s point of view. My problem with it is that at the very end of the relationship Li’l Bit is 18 years old and she rejects her uncle Peck but only after she is a walking wreck herself. By this time, she has dropped out of college with a raging drinking problem and working in a small town factory. I buy the wreckage afterwards but how does a young woman struggling with this past abuse muster the courage to say no to her abuser? The point (I think) is that she has had all the power but this does not speak to the kind of damage that is perpetrated upon the body, mind and spirit of a young person. I just don’t think the “power” was ever earned for Li’l Bit, that is the element that was missing for me. And for this production to try to relay this power dynamic of abuse as a love affair just makes me shudder.

The one breakout moment was when Jennifer Regan, playing the part of Uncle Peck’s wife admits she knew what was happening and blamed Li’l Bit for it. Regan delivered the monologue in such raw and accusatory way that her performance gave me chills. Anyway, my head feels like it’s going to explode because there is so much more I want to say and address but I think I need to get back to my own work.

Peace,

L~
 
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Hiding Under a Blanket of Music

Okay, I readily admit that I am NOT an optimistic person. You’ve read that right and I easily admit it. There is something in my hard wiring where I look at a glass of water and not only do I think it’s half empty but I’m checking to see what kind of toxins are swimming in it. (Yes, that’s been my running joke for a long time, you can’t expect me to give it up now.) This state of pessimism I’ve always re-labeled as being a realist but who was I kidding, I expect the worst to happen. Living in this state of perpetual despondency has at times made it incredibly difficult to enjoy the good when it happens.

I haven’t done much writing on my novel, ergh. It makes my mouth twist up to one side and it’s incredibly frustrating to report that I’m at a stand still on this project. I can’t force things to move forward and I’ve lost some of the heat behind it. My writer friends keep telling me that maybe the work needs more time to incubate. *grumble, grumble, dark storm cloud gathering over my head* My patience is running thin with this work. I’ve decided to put it back on the shelf for the next month. Even writing that sentence makes my stomach and jaw tighten. It feels like I have failed the project some how. Nine chapters in and I’ve fallen asleep at the wheel. How did that happen?

The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that I’m working on a new theater project. It’s too early to start “talking” about it just yet. This idea is a fetus right now and I need writing time to give it some legs. I’m researching some material for it and jotting down ideas on index cards... and I am trying not to look at the binder on the shelf. I’m giving myself a month to write up the first 90-page draft, which comes out to 3 pages a day, which I am capable of doing. I am going to bring it to the writing group only after the first draft has been written. It’ll be easier to explain my intention if I have the material written out ahead of time.

Anyway, going back to the initial impulse of writing this blog entry: I’m going to be more optimistic in the next coming weeks. I’m doing it til the habits sticks. It takes 21 days of daily practice for a habit to form.  Let's see if I can form some new pathways in this stiffening grey matter of mine. I’m going to make a short list of things (ok just 4 things) that I’d like to change about myself and work on them every day. Let’s see how that goes. Wish me luck. :-)

In the meantime, I’ve been hiding under a blanket of music. It’s the only thing that gets me out of my head lately. Thanks to the readers who have been sending me suggestions, they are appreciated. I don’t always put the music or the comments up if the music doesn’t resonate with me (I have quirky tastes), so no hard feelings.

Best,

Lily~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

A music conversation

An anonymous reader sent me a note with a couple of music links to check out.  Out of the three sent, this is the one that grabbed my attention:  Jack White- Love Interruption. The lyrics are AMAZING!! I've been grooving to it the last couple of days and now I can't help but share it.  'Cause when I hear something that moves me...well you know the rest.  Enjoy! 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Hellish Little Torture...

Hmm, let's see listening to love songs is a hellish little torture I've devised for myself on Valentine's Day.  So I'm kicking it old school to the likes of Killing Me Softly by The Fugees. 

Looking for something new?  Check out Emeli Sande's, Next to Me. 

Heaven came out last year. Great voice. You can't miss her.
Enjoy! 

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Gotye-Somebody That I Used To Know

I’m putting this out there because the song is addicting. I listened to it many, many times yesterday and now I have to pass it on. Enjoy!

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Misfits

I keep meaning to write about this little show on Hulu that my friend Tony turned me on to: Misfits (written by Howard Overman and Jon Brown), for the sci-fi geeks out there looking for something fun...the show is addicting. If you can’t get past the very thick UK accents, close-caption it. Sometimes, that’s the only way you’ll catch the funny one-liners (trust me, you don't want to miss what comes out of Nathan's or Kelly's mouth). All three seasons are currently available on Hulu. And this is the kind of show that I wish I had written and filmed.

It’s about five juvies who are sentenced to work community service together and after a freak electrical storm wind up with super powers. Yep, the premise sounds like crap BUT this show is witty and raunchy and at times even surprising. The actors are really great and I love Iwan Rheon as Simon. His transformation in the story arc of the show is the most compelling and I’m bummed to hear that he’s not returning for the fourth season. Anyway, if you are tired of reality television and really want a new show to sink your teeth into...this is the one.

Here is my disclaimer:  If you are easily offended by masturbation scenes, gratuitous violence, and angst-ridden 20-year olds then this show is NOT for you.  Peace out!!

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Feeling Good

Today, I seemed to be moving in slow-motion while the rest of the world seemed to be stuck on fast-forward. I missed my morning train (ergh) but as I waited for the next train on the open air platform, I had a moment. The morning sun was shining on my face and the cold, brisk air smelled of early spring and my heart felt wide open. For a moment, I was glad that I was alive and breathing. Being in the present moment.

In light of that moment, Nina Simone’s song, Feeling Good came to mind. Now I went on YouTube to see if I could find a live performance from Nina Simone and could only find re-mixes. The best I could do was Buble’s version: Voilà. I think the Script’s song, Breakeven (that has had a strangle hold on me for the past couple of weeks) has finally started to loosen up. Thank goodness...who can breathe with that much angst?  The melancholy comes in waves and today it's receded enough to enjoy the sun on my face.  Enjoy!



All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Look Back in Anger



Photo by Joan Marcus

On Saturday, I went to see the play, Look Back in Anger by John Osbourne at the Roundabout Theater. Sam Gold directs Adam Driver as Cliff, Charlotte Parry as Helena, Sarah Goldberg as Alison Porter and Matthew Rhys as Jimmy Porter.

Matthew Rhys as Jimmy rages across the stage, sounding off his working class frustrations on his temperate upper-crust wife Alison, who does not fight back, who plays games to make him forget his anger. The relationship is volatile and can hardly be sustained and when Alison’s friend Helena comes to visit, Alison quickly finds a way out. This crucial point is never fully realized for me. Alison just goes along and leaves but the moment when she makes up her mind is never properly shaped. It felt like Helena took away that choice from her.

Gold made a choice to pull some passages from Jimmy’s speeches regarding the socio-economics of the time (post-war London). I think he wanted to create the love relationship as the central figure. Without those themes it does lack some of the reasoning behind Jimmy’s caustic speeches. Matthew Rhys as Jimmy was scathing and I couldn’t look away as he pushed and pulled every other character within his sphere. Jimmy was unfulfilled at the dead-end-ness of his life and there was nothing to shake him out of his anger. And as much as he loved Alison, he raged against her most of all because he knew down to his bones that he would lose her eventually. No one could love another with so much cruelty and not expect a departure. I loved his performance. I read the NY Times review about how he didn’t go far enough and I have to disagree. To make it bigger would have hardly given the audience a chance to sympathize with Jimmy when Alison finally leaves..

When Alison returns and Jimmy and Alison have their moment together, it crushed the air out of my lungs from the raw impact of that scene between them. Sarah Goldberg was genius in that scene with Rhys, as she played a nuanced, vulnerable performance.

It’s a tough play but at the end of it…I was reminded why I love theater so much.


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

It’s a cold, bright day in NYC and the last couple of weeks have been hectic. Hence, the lack of updates on this blog about the novel. Working on it, little bit at a time but not making substantial headway at the moment. Ergh. But I’m not freaking out (yet!) Operative word being yet.

I have a list of excuses starting from my kitty being sick last week (and getting very little sleep), to a rebounding migraine that lasted days and ending with taking on a project helping out friends with writing copy. So I’ve been a bit scattered and have had a hard time sitting down and being quiet long enough to hear what comes next in my story. So there it is.

It’s Friday and it’s a good night to go to the gym for a swim.
Saturday, I’m going to go see the play, Look Back in Anger.
Sunday, SuperBowl game between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots.
I’ll have time to work on my novel and go to the gym. Now let’s see if I can stick with that plan. As soon as I wrote that last line…this line popped into my head, “We plan, God laughs.”
Go Giants!!

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.