It's 10:09 pm. Almost the end of the day.
I finished reading Graham Joyce's new title, Some Kind of Fairy Tale. It came out earlier this week. It's the story about a woman, Tara Martin, who returns home after disappearing for twenty years. When Joyce ventures into the Fey world he captures moments quite beautifully. This novel had some hits and misses for me. Moments with thirteen year old Jack worked well. And sad-sack Richie was handled nicely. But the story felt uneven. At times, it was missing some of the magic. I loved the quotes used at the beginning each chapter. When Tara becomes angry I am with her all the way and that was one of the stronger moments. I need to read more Joyce.
I'm still reading Ensouling Language. Taking it in slowly.
I've also been reading Kurt Vonnegut's Slapstick. The story made me laugh out loud a few times while taking the train home from work. But I've reached a point where the story went down the rabbit hole. I'm not sure what to make of it yet.
That's all I really have for now...oh wait, one more thing...I really hate cardboard boxes. Yep, now I'm done.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
An Empty Room
Monday. 1:44 pm. I'm home with a migraine. This move has me stressed out. I'm not really sure why but all the synapses are freaking out at the moment. I'm mostly packed so that's almost done. I'm pretty organized on what I have left to do. I have my family helping me with the move next week so there's that. I have a summer gig. So why the freak out? It's just this general anxiety worrying about ???? [fill in the blank] Worried about my Life...with a capital L.
My birthday is next week and I am feeling pretty shitty, angry and pathetic about myself at the moment. I really hate birthdays lately. It's a reminder of all the things I still have not achieved, all the regrets from the past haunt my present, and all the possibilities for the future become a little more than fantasies marked under too far to reach lately. I think I'm throwing myself a big old pity party today. It goes with the migraine I guess. I've been feeling this way since Friday. I shared it with my sister a bit yesterday and her advice was to just save money to buy my own place. Ergh.
I just feel a bit empty today. Despite the good things in my life, I can't help focus on what's not working. A cold dark empty room is the only thing that feels good at the moment. Anyway, that's all I've got for today.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
My birthday is next week and I am feeling pretty shitty, angry and pathetic about myself at the moment. I really hate birthdays lately. It's a reminder of all the things I still have not achieved, all the regrets from the past haunt my present, and all the possibilities for the future become a little more than fantasies marked under too far to reach lately. I think I'm throwing myself a big old pity party today. It goes with the migraine I guess. I've been feeling this way since Friday. I shared it with my sister a bit yesterday and her advice was to just save money to buy my own place. Ergh.
I just feel a bit empty today. Despite the good things in my life, I can't help focus on what's not working. A cold dark empty room is the only thing that feels good at the moment. Anyway, that's all I've got for today.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Pressure Against the Wall
It's Monday and I spent most of the weekend packing. I did take a break or two but, for the most part, my life has been revolving around boxes and putting things into them for my move on the 22nd. I have two dozen boxes packed and two bookshelves broken down plus two cd shelves tied together and ready to be hauled. Also the contents of my filing cabinet have been emptied into a box. Everything I own in this world is in 24 boxes. There are still clothes to pack and toiletries to put away and my altar to be packed but that will happen the night before my move. I haven't included the big pieces of furniture in the tally: t.v. stand, the bed and my desk. I'm leaving behind my favorite couch, ergh. I am trying hard not to cling to things but the more I move, the more attached I've become to my stuff. It's the Cancer Crab (astrology) in me. It's interesting to have packed things away and now living with less stuff around. It reminds me that I can live simply without having to burden myself with material goods. Really what's important to me is having pen and paper, my laptop and a good book to read when I've stopped walking around in circles.
I've been reading Ensouling Language: On the Art of NonFiction and the Writer's Life by Stephen Harrod Buhner. His text inspires me to be a better writer. He reminds me of the magic that goes into writing. I sometimes get stuck in the mire of slogging through my own text and think to myself, "Really? What's the Point?" Buhner's text reminds me that writing is about putting constant pressure on that wall to ensure a breakthrough. I am reading his book and I feel understood. The act of writing is such a lonely art. We sit with our work trying to get the world that is in our heads to come through in coherent passages onto the page. And there are times when the beauty that is in our brains just doesn't translate properly onto paper. It's incredibly frustrating. It takes a tremendous amount of faith to be vigilant with the writing and when I flounder, get stuck in the mire of it's-just-not-good-enough mentality, a book like Ensouling Language helps light a fire with my flagging energy. At the end of the day, writing is more important than quitting. Finishing this novel is necessary. I've invested three years (and counting) into this manuscript and even though I still have a long way to go with it, I can't stop now.
I'm going back to an old routine that worked for me, getting up early mornings (4:30/5:00 am) to start my day writing. Work for two hours on the novel then get ready for work. I need a routine in place to keep me active on this story. This is the only way I can put constant pressure 'til I feel that breakthrough again. It will also help me through yet another time of transition. Is it just me or have I gone through quite a few transitions lately? Goodness!
That's all I have for now....more later.
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
I've been reading Ensouling Language: On the Art of NonFiction and the Writer's Life by Stephen Harrod Buhner. His text inspires me to be a better writer. He reminds me of the magic that goes into writing. I sometimes get stuck in the mire of slogging through my own text and think to myself, "Really? What's the Point?" Buhner's text reminds me that writing is about putting constant pressure on that wall to ensure a breakthrough. I am reading his book and I feel understood. The act of writing is such a lonely art. We sit with our work trying to get the world that is in our heads to come through in coherent passages onto the page. And there are times when the beauty that is in our brains just doesn't translate properly onto paper. It's incredibly frustrating. It takes a tremendous amount of faith to be vigilant with the writing and when I flounder, get stuck in the mire of it's-just-not-good-enough mentality, a book like Ensouling Language helps light a fire with my flagging energy. At the end of the day, writing is more important than quitting. Finishing this novel is necessary. I've invested three years (and counting) into this manuscript and even though I still have a long way to go with it, I can't stop now.
I'm going back to an old routine that worked for me, getting up early mornings (4:30/5:00 am) to start my day writing. Work for two hours on the novel then get ready for work. I need a routine in place to keep me active on this story. This is the only way I can put constant pressure 'til I feel that breakthrough again. It will also help me through yet another time of transition. Is it just me or have I gone through quite a few transitions lately? Goodness!
That's all I have for now....more later.
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
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