Wired and Tired (part deux)

Hudson River, October 2012

I'm back!  It's taken me a couple of days to sit down and write an entry.  The long weekend visiting T was good.  Lots of running around, schlepping materials and inventory.  Not much writing done...oh well.  Basically, I crashed every night I was there.  Altho' I managed to learn how to make sushi rolls...who knew it was so easy?  Thanks for the lesson Tony.  Brought home some stinky Korean stew and homemade white nectarine jam.  Yum!!  Also managed a quick pic from my train window.  

It's 11:30 pm and my brain is wide awake...the body not so much.  God! I want to write and write and write and I'm sure I'll end up with only quick paragraphs of random bits.  

Finally finished Beautiful Shadow: A Life of Patricia Highsmith by Andrew Wilson.  This bio was both dense and so well written.  It took me a while to get through and the inevitable ending brought tears to my eyes.  She died in a hospital alone.  Ah.  We are all moving in that same direction, n'est pas?  I am neither morose or morbid about death, instead I've linked arms with it.  If we're doing this, there is much to done before it comes to pass.  Hopefully, I'll get to accomplish one or two more things before I pass on.   

I've picked up the book Art & Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking by David Bayles & Ted Orland.  This is a must-have for every creative person out there.  I've read this book quite a few times especially when I'm stuck with my writing.  I am telling you I can open to any page at random and it inspires me to work.  This book is MAGIC for me.  On the train home from the day job, I read the section on Perfectionism and actually laughed out loud because the authors should have just started the chapter with Dear Lily... it was so on point.  Ergh!  Embarrassing but true.

I've been watching the show Nashville.  Yes, guilty pleasure.  Loving the cast and storyline on this new tv drama.  Okay, I know I'm not a big fan of country music but there are a couple of songs on there so good I had to download at least one.  My pick for tonight was Fade Into You sung by Sam Palladio and Clare Bowen.  The version was so sweet and tender it made me go all mush.  * awwwww *

Okay, I think I'm going to finish there...I'll write more in the morning after my first cup of tea.

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Pulling It Together.

Today I woke up in a better head space. I went home feeling pretty low but I talked some of it out and not even 15 minutes into the conversation I was starting to feel better. I realized that this feeling of unsatisfaction only come on when I start in on myself about where I “should be” in my life, career, writing, relationships, etc. instead of being fully present to where I am right now! Serenity Now!! That makes such a huge difference in my outlook. Shifting perspective just a half inch to the right helped.

Last night, I helped tutor someone who is studying for one of his professional exams and to see him make significant strides in both the work and the material gave me a feeling of a job well done. We are far from done since his test is at the end of the month but just changing a few of his study habits has really helped him retain a vast amount of information. Yay!! His progress helped turn my self-pity mood around.

So today I had my hungry kitty sitting on my bed, staring at my face, until her Jedi powers woke me up. She wouldn’t allow me to go back to sleep because she kept patting my face with her paw. Glad her claws were retracted. Hehehe.

I also went down another lb. Yay!! Doing a happy dance. Bringing my total up to 20.5 lbs in 10 weeks. Hoorah!! I am closer to my goal.

All for now…peace out~
L~

I'm back to waving my freak flag, Beotches!!  Video below: Halestorm - Freak Like Me. 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Odd Duck.

I’m having a moment.  It’s troublesome really.  My perspective is slightly skewed and I don’t know how to right myself up.  I’m feeling like an odd duck today.  Maybe it’s about being a creative type in a financial setting.  Maybe it’s being over-educated and under-employed.  Maybe I just need a break from this place. Maybe it’s the lack of writing.  Being a frustrated writer sucks. Whatever the case may be I can feel hot tears of frustration welling up as I sit here at my desk writing this entry. Leaving for upstate NY in a couple of days.  Will be good to get away.  Will be good to take a break from the reality of my own life.  All I want to do is work on some writing for a good long stretch of time and see if that will right the picture.  My teeth are clenched. Trying to prevent the emotional dam from breaking through and not being very successful as I place fingers in the cracks.  I don’t know what happened to my positive outlook.  I’d blame it on the rain if it was raining.  PLUS!  I’m having a bad hair day…looks like a bird’s nest…altho’ a nest is neater that my straggly looking tresses.  I’m a hot mess and I am very aware of it right now.  Ergh!!   

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.