Pulling It Together.

Today I woke up in a better head space. I went home feeling pretty low but I talked some of it out and not even 15 minutes into the conversation I was starting to feel better. I realized that this feeling of unsatisfaction only come on when I start in on myself about where I “should be” in my life, career, writing, relationships, etc. instead of being fully present to where I am right now! Serenity Now!! That makes such a huge difference in my outlook. Shifting perspective just a half inch to the right helped.

Last night, I helped tutor someone who is studying for one of his professional exams and to see him make significant strides in both the work and the material gave me a feeling of a job well done. We are far from done since his test is at the end of the month but just changing a few of his study habits has really helped him retain a vast amount of information. Yay!! His progress helped turn my self-pity mood around.

So today I had my hungry kitty sitting on my bed, staring at my face, until her Jedi powers woke me up. She wouldn’t allow me to go back to sleep because she kept patting my face with her paw. Glad her claws were retracted. Hehehe.

I also went down another lb. Yay!! Doing a happy dance. Bringing my total up to 20.5 lbs in 10 weeks. Hoorah!! I am closer to my goal.

All for now…peace out~
L~

I'm back to waving my freak flag, Beotches!!  Video below: Halestorm - Freak Like Me. 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Odd Duck.

I’m having a moment.  It’s troublesome really.  My perspective is slightly skewed and I don’t know how to right myself up.  I’m feeling like an odd duck today.  Maybe it’s about being a creative type in a financial setting.  Maybe it’s being over-educated and under-employed.  Maybe I just need a break from this place. Maybe it’s the lack of writing.  Being a frustrated writer sucks. Whatever the case may be I can feel hot tears of frustration welling up as I sit here at my desk writing this entry. Leaving for upstate NY in a couple of days.  Will be good to get away.  Will be good to take a break from the reality of my own life.  All I want to do is work on some writing for a good long stretch of time and see if that will right the picture.  My teeth are clenched. Trying to prevent the emotional dam from breaking through and not being very successful as I place fingers in the cracks.  I don’t know what happened to my positive outlook.  I’d blame it on the rain if it was raining.  PLUS!  I’m having a bad hair day…looks like a bird’s nest…altho’ a nest is neater that my straggly looking tresses.  I’m a hot mess and I am very aware of it right now.  Ergh!!   

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Mondays are for Whiners.

Hehehe. Seriously. I’ve spent the better part of the day listening to folks bitch and complain about one thing or another. I need a tea break and an escape route. It’s going to be a short week for me. Off to upstate NY to help T. out with his last craft show for the season and some quiet time to work on my novel. Sweet Jesus..I need to finish this draft by year’s end.

I’m still reading Highsmith’s bio. I came up to the chapter on her racist views of Jews, Blacks and Puerto Ricans. It left me in a quandary. I wasn’t sure I wanted to read on. I just don’t understand how an intellect can be a racist. Won’t delve too deeply into my own thoughts on that right now. Some friends encouraged me to keep going with the bio and keep in mind the context of the socio-political-economic atmosphere of her times. I’ve pushed on and am now reading about her life in the late 1970s. I’m almost done with this book. As much as I want to read every book she’s ever written…I may hit just a few more of her most noted novels to see the progression of her craft. It will be interesting to see how her work unfolded and her writing developed in her lifespan. I’ve also jotted down a list of books that influenced her work. May read those as well.

On Friday, I went to see Nilo Cruz’s play, A Bicycle Country at Theater for the New City in the East Village. The first half of the play was much better than the second half. His writing is so beautiful, it’s poetic. A few lines have stuck in my grey matter. There was supposed to be a Q&A with the playwright but alas he cancelled out. One of the actors said, she thought the play was a hopeful piece. Oh my gosh, I completely disagree with her. It’s the antithesis of hopeful. In fact, the second half goes to such a dark place that I expected all the actors to each take a knife and open their veins right there on stage. Gruesome visual but true sentiment nonetheless.

On Saturday, I met up with my writing group at our monthly meeting. I think we need to find a new venue. Our current location was so filled with a tour group that we could hardly hear ourselves. Afterwards, we went to a wine bar for a little catching up. I’ve been to this place once before, Amelie down on West 8th Street. It’s so cute and I had a lovely glass of Cote du Rhone wine. I actually had several glasses of wine but the red was my favorite. Yum!

Alas, all this socializing has left me a little off-track with some of my healthier eating choices. Drat! But today I’m back on track. Yay!! I’ve hit a bit of a plateau but I’m not worried as long as the scale doesn’t start trending back up again. I am steady with 19.5 lbs lost. I just need to break the 20 lb mark ‘cause I have a long way to go.

Tonight some yoga and a light dinner and I’ll be good to go. Working on strengthening the muscles around my crappy knees. Hehehe…that made me giggle.

Mmm, I picked up Mumford & Sons new album, Babel. Really good album. I still like Sigh No More much better but maybe I just haven’t listened closely enough yet. We shall see.

All for now.

Peace,

L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.