I keep falling off the face of the earth. First I’m here and then I’m not.
Still going to writing group, still writing (kind of), my inner critic is still on full blast and this Spring is being temperamental.
Appropriate enough. I’m wishing to be anywhere but here at the moment.
Alas, running away from one’s life is not really feasible these days,
especially since wherever you wind up you bring along the interior monologue.
Is there a way to cast it out, burn it down, silence it shut? Cause I could really use the respite.
Although I have the studio space, I have yet to spend time there to work.
Gotta do that but quick ‘cause I’m slowly losing my mind from sheer apathy.
That is such a thick heavy word—Apathy. It sinks the soul and wrangles one into a straightjacket.
Blocks the light, quiets the song and creates a zombie of sorts.
Will write more…when I’ve pulled my head out of the sand.
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Missing in Action...
I know I’ve been M.I.A. for the past week. I’ve been busy mostly with outside projects and family obligations. And this month doesn’t seem to be letting up. I’m a bit done at the moment and I’m finding it difficult to put much into words. I’ve been struggling with something.
Since my break through (with the writing) a couple of weeks ago, I’ve spent very little time working on my novel. It’s a shame really but I have a nasty habit of biting off more than I can chew by taking on other people’s pet projects in lieu of working on my own. It came to head for me on Sunday when I was taking on yet one more project and I realized that the time commitment would stretch me too thin. As I sat in on a meeting and asked for some clarifications…it became apparent that I didn’t have the inner resources to take on one more outside project.
In the past, I would have sucked it up, kept my head down and worked through despite feeling stressed out over the final product. These days, I just don’t want to give over this time so easily. How many times have I complained on this very blog about how little time I had…it just didn’t make sense to add one more thing to my plate. It was a hard decision because I had agreed to take it on. I have a hard time letting other people down. T reminded me that it’s too easy to let myself down than to let others down and that I’ve got it pretty twisted. He talked me off the ledge and once I sent the e-mail out, I went back to work on my novel.
So I’ve added another 1,000 words (approximately 6 more pages) to the paper pile. I’m pushing myself to complete this chapter before my writing group meeting on Thursday. I’ll go home tonight and work on it. Let’s see how long I last. I have the actual chapter written out but I’m working through revising to include the new technology information. Even as I write these words my eyes are closing from too many nights of tossing and turning. I’m ready to crash. Perhaps I can power nap on the train, on the way up to my apartment. Sounds like a plan.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Since my break through (with the writing) a couple of weeks ago, I’ve spent very little time working on my novel. It’s a shame really but I have a nasty habit of biting off more than I can chew by taking on other people’s pet projects in lieu of working on my own. It came to head for me on Sunday when I was taking on yet one more project and I realized that the time commitment would stretch me too thin. As I sat in on a meeting and asked for some clarifications…it became apparent that I didn’t have the inner resources to take on one more outside project.
In the past, I would have sucked it up, kept my head down and worked through despite feeling stressed out over the final product. These days, I just don’t want to give over this time so easily. How many times have I complained on this very blog about how little time I had…it just didn’t make sense to add one more thing to my plate. It was a hard decision because I had agreed to take it on. I have a hard time letting other people down. T reminded me that it’s too easy to let myself down than to let others down and that I’ve got it pretty twisted. He talked me off the ledge and once I sent the e-mail out, I went back to work on my novel.
So I’ve added another 1,000 words (approximately 6 more pages) to the paper pile. I’m pushing myself to complete this chapter before my writing group meeting on Thursday. I’ll go home tonight and work on it. Let’s see how long I last. I have the actual chapter written out but I’m working through revising to include the new technology information. Even as I write these words my eyes are closing from too many nights of tossing and turning. I’m ready to crash. Perhaps I can power nap on the train, on the way up to my apartment. Sounds like a plan.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
"My watch is exactly two days late"
I have a bit of a crooked mouth today. It’s not a smile or a smirk. I found out earlier this week that I did not win a small grant I had applied for. It’s disappointing. I really thought I’d have a little money coming in so I can take a week off from my day job to write. What a luxury that would have been. The sarcasm runs deep. I need to shake it off and on to the next grant. I’m trying to find a steady core between money and creative work.
Anyway, neither here nor there…onto chapter 3 to work through revisions in the novel. I need to resolve the last scene with a groovy escape for my protagonist. I have an inkling of an idea but I haven’t figured out who are allies and who are enemies yet. *rolling my eyes* I just need to write the scene. New written material always comes out so much slower than revising words that are already written out. Then chapter three needs to be updated and reshaped based on the changes that I’ve made to the story and the technology. So much to do, so little time. Feel like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland… “I’m late, I’m late” “my watch is exactly two days late,” yep that’s my normal modus operandi.
On that note…gotta get back to work.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Anyway, neither here nor there…onto chapter 3 to work through revisions in the novel. I need to resolve the last scene with a groovy escape for my protagonist. I have an inkling of an idea but I haven’t figured out who are allies and who are enemies yet. *rolling my eyes* I just need to write the scene. New written material always comes out so much slower than revising words that are already written out. Then chapter three needs to be updated and reshaped based on the changes that I’ve made to the story and the technology. So much to do, so little time. Feel like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland… “I’m late, I’m late” “my watch is exactly two days late,” yep that’s my normal modus operandi.
On that note…gotta get back to work.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
