mediocrity

i never wanted an ordinary life. i wanted more. i hungered for more. the problem with more is that what i have, at any given moment, is never enough. a face reflected in a window. i thought it was ambition, striving to be better than common mediocrity. perhaps it's just snobbery. perhaps i think i am better than...but that's a lie. sitting under the living room fan listening to city and colour play in the background, i am hungry. not for food. for more. i feel it down to the bones in my jaw. an ache. a void so deep it makes me wince...it creates a sharp pain that reminds me that what i'm doing is not enough. heat does not mix well with bone-crushing disappointment in one self.

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