Transitions

As I move into the month of February, I find myself in a time of transition in most all aspects of my life.  Most years I go through these times kicking and screaming, dragging my heels, clawing at the walls, not wanting to make changes despite the fact that the changes are happening with or without my consent and/or participation. (This is the part where I giggle to myself because it's true).  I'm doing things a little differently this time...I'm not putting my head in the sand, I'm making some choices here.  Right or wrong, I'm starting to figuring some of my own life aspects. Call it synchronicity. Intuition. Emotional resonance. I'm just trusting myself as I move forward.

Day Job--The group seems to be in a state of flux at the moment and they are going through some growing pains.  I am trying to remain calm but I find that playing office politics is not my forte.  Never has been. I'm trying to find a new way of doing my job, do a decent job of it, trust my gut, go home and work on my creative writing.  And try not to get too entangled in the office shenanigans.  At the end of the day, it's too easy to get sucked up into the machinations of restructuring. In the last three days I've been to three meetings and I am finding more and more that people have lost the ability to listen to one another.  Its frustrating.  As the person with the least seniority on the admin team, I think I'm just going to pitch my ideas when they are applicable but I'm not going to get attached to the outcome.  Easier said than done.

Creativity -- Now this is by far more important but all the stresses of the day job have really taxed me.  I am going to make some adjustments and shift my focus again so that the creative work becomes the priority. I watched a co-worker of mine play in his band this past week and there was this moment when he cut loose and he was just so present, riffing on his instrument...watching him play inspired me to get back to writing again.  The last couple of weeks I've been doing these short stories in my journal during lunch but they were so quick and just these jotted down pieces...I have to look back and see if I can use any of that material for something more substantial. Perhaps I can salvage a story from it.  And then of course, I can work on that albatross that is Indigo....perhaps that will be the new title to my sci-fi novel.  Albatross.  So back to my shift of consciousness...back to the creative work.  I'm still at least keeping up with 3 journal pages a day so I've kept up with that commitment. Now I need to incorporate creative time every day.

Health -- I've discovered there is no "magic pill" to take away chronic migraines. After seeing a specialist, I believed for a moment I was on to something. But after several months of dealing with side effects of stress, fatigue, joint pain, numbness in fingers and toes, bitter taste from the medication, I am done. So I am going back to my naturopathic specialist and trying to figure out a holistic approach to dealing with this chronic condition. One of my worst side effects was "trouble with words."  And as a writer...let's just say that was noticeable from the onset, I just thought I could work around that issue.  Ergh. I realized it was a problem when my spelling started to turn to crap.  So if you find any typos in this entry...I'm blaming it on the meds...I'm still weaning off of them.  Hehehe. I'll be off them completely by next week.  Anyway, I just finished reading Molecules of Emotion which also lends itself to the decision to come off the medication.  I knew I wasn't doing well on the migraine prescription but I kept trying to convince myself that it was going to help.  So onto to healthier life choices.  Back to food restrictions, natural supplements, yoga, walking, meditation and one or two new activities.

Anyway that is all I have for now...I am sure there is tons more to share but it's late and I need some
shut-eye. 'Night.

L~



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