I woke up again before my alarm…5:27 am to be exact. I had a hard time getting started with the writing though…my inner critic was awake before I was so she had a good head start. As soon as I broached the page I was absolutely convinced that I will never be able to complete another play again. I have a constant nagging voice that my characters are speaking too directly to the problem and I need to subvert the conversation in some way. But I don’t know how. Hence, why I think I won’t finish this project. So this is what I did, I allowed myself to kvetch for about a page about how I’m too tired and too sleepy to even start working on the play. I even told myself if I can get through one page I can go back to sleep.

The tactic worked. Once I bitched and moaned for a page I looked at where I left off on the scene the last time I worked. It started with one line and it wasn’t easy but it wasn’t as difficult as I thought either. I wrote for about 40 minutes and then I (kind of) got stuck again. I didn’t know what the next line was. I didn’t know how to move into the next scene. I could feel the panic start to rise. I thought to myself maybe I should write to my ex, or maybe I should get my day started and take a shower. Before I let my rising panic force me to run away from the page, I gently told myself, “just stay here for 5 minutes, if nothing comes then you can go take a shower.” And I sat there, in the quiet morning, and the answer bubbled up. I cut a section out to free up the next scene. I still don’t know exactly where it’s going but at least I stuck to it. I find that if I’m a bit more gently with myself I get much better results. So yay for gentle methods!!

Once I cut the section, the writing came out so quickly that I didn’t even notice another 30 minutes had passed. I looked up and jumped out of my chair because it was 7:05 and I had 25 minutes to get ready before I had to catch my train. It felt good to have done the work and my energy was light and airy. The optimism allowed me to enjoy the thin rain in Brooklyn as a hazy light gave everything a quiet hue. I even thought to myself, I should really get up a little earlier to have more time to write. The spirit is willing, the body not so much. Hehehe. Anyway, all for now….serenity now!!

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