Inner Critic Won This Round

Let's see, where should I start this?...oh yes, word count.  I will confess that Friday night I did not write.  * Gasp - I KNOW * I had my inner critic shaking her finger at me and ranting on and on about laziness which is never my favorite word.  I was checked out and having a pity party for myself.  Should I list all the things that got in the way...really it was just my "skewed thinking brain" that got in my way.  Here are some sound bytes (take with a grain of salt in the light of day):  I don't like the story any more, I don't think I am smart enough to write this particular story, I am convinced that my writing is crap with all my split infinitives and excessive ramblings, And then it got worse. And nothing I told myself worked, I was convinced that washing dishes and  cleaning my cat's litter box was SO MUCH more important that working on my writing.  Really?!  Really?  So ONE WHOLE DAY without writing.  Ergh.

Today I was racing through my day.  Saturday was spent in a crazy whirlwind of errands. Picking up my dad's birthday present from the post office, buying the appropriate display case for it and pretty wrapping paper, lots of time on a line that snaked for two and a half days through the store, sheesh, ...it was crazy-town in my brain today because no one was moving fast enough. Then at 3:30, I met up with my writing group and we talked about Christine's story...gosh, so very proud of her and all the work that she's done on it. All the talking about writing craft made me ready to FACE THE PAGE...* by the way, I did that with a low, booming voice * So I hopped online, went to the NaNoWriMo website to check my stats and they were dismal since I didn't put one word on the page yesterday.  Today, I managed, 1,600 words in two and a half hours.  Yay!  Okay, I'm still behind the eight ball on this one...do you see that diagonal line...that's where I should be hitting right now if I'm going to hit 50,000 words at the end of the months...eeesh!  My grand total so far is 11,101 words.  Now, according to all their stats I need to write 8,000 words on Sunday to be caught up.  Why does it feel like I'm in school all over again? My goal for tomorrow is 5,000 words.  Eight hours, two breaks to eat a small meal...I can do it right?  *gulp* And could I possibly squeeze in a walk in Central Park?

I have a dinner party to go to tomorrow night.  That's actually going to be my incentive...prize at the end of the tunnel...'cause I love Lance's cooking and his wife Patty makes the best Sangria EVER!!

My Stats on NaNoWriMo Website...Eeek!!

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Note to Self: Write

First thing first: Word count for today is 1,004 bringing total word count to 9,501
I'm okay with the short clip.  Not fighting with my story and just allowing myself to follow its lead.  It's funny, I've written and re-written the first six chapters so many times that I sometimes lose the story line thread.  Today, I kept checking back on what I've written to make sure that the new material is mostly in line with what I've written before.   Note to self: print out the last version of Indigo and place in a binder.  I've had my computer crash one too many times not to have a hard copy handy.  Altho' I could back up my files too...hmm should be time since I can't remember the last time I actually backed up my computer.

New music...I came across this artist while surfing for new music.  Heard the song and really liked it's pop-py tune. Misha B's voice reminds me of my queen of soul, Chaka Khan. This song, at around 2:39, picks up temp and it's the reason why I keep listening to this song over and over again.  Enjoy!!

Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Word Count is Kicking My A**

Let's start off with word count update.  That seems to be all I have eyes for these days even though I've had two very slow days. 
On Tuesday: 513 words
On Wednesday: 824 words
Total word count to date: 8,497 words

I'm trying not to be too hard on myself for not meeting at least 1,600 words for each of those days. I'm trying to think bigger picture.  What I find interesting about this process is that my sucky mood on Tuesday left me fighting even with my own writing.  The story wanted to go one way and I didn't want to go in that particular direction so the words stopped coming out. Hmph!  So we were at an impasse and we sat there staring at each other.  My story didn't blink and I backed away for the night. 

Then last night, I told myself to let the story go wherever it wanted to go and I managed to eke out 800 more words. But then the story bucked up once again and it wanted to go in a direction that I didn't think was very believeable. Ergh! I was fighting with it again.  I deleted words and then I reminded myself that I was going to allow the story to go where it wanted to go and it didn't matter if I believed  it or not.  I needed to give the story space to breathe so then I retyped those last couple of sentences again and waited.  Now that it was going into unknown country I was going to follow its lead.  I could feel myself reaching out trying to figure out what next? The words wouldn't come...hell, I was staring at a blank screen, literally and figuratively.  I stayed in place.  Just sat there and waited for 15 more minutes.  I've even stopped tweezing, I realized that I was in danger of tweezing all my eyebrows off and then I would have to paint eyebrows on every morning.  Hehehe.  I called it a night after writing for an hour and waiting for more those empty 15 minutes. 

Oh yes, I wanted to share this tidbit.  I hopped on the scale this morning and it gave me a number I didn't quite believe. I dropped another three lbs.  Despite what the scale is indicating, I almost don't want to take it at face value. I got off and on three times to make sure that my scale wasn't broken or wrong. My weight has been up and down all week but the weight I write down is Thursday's weight. Something I learned from my Weight Watcher days because weight fluctuates depending on meals, water retention, etc.  My total weight loss to date is 25.5 lbs. Holy Fucking Hell!! I am entering Week 15 of my Healthy Lifestyle changes and I am reminding myself to curb the sweet drinks.  I've allowed myself a couple of sodas this week when I was feeling crappy but seeing the scale on it's downward trajectory is getting me back on track.  Hoorah!!
Doing a little happy dance!

Peace,

L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.