I need a break...

You ever had one of those really shitty days at work where you start questioning your existence on this planet? Seriously!  What's the point of it all really? There has got to be a better way.  A better way of making ends meet. A better way of living a life worth living. A better way of having more time for the things I want to be doing instead of waiting until I retire in order to do them. Good g*d d**n, tonight I want something more, something different, something other than what I have at this present moment. I'm not being ungrateful. I'm just pissed off at where I am, what I'm doing, f**k sake take me off this mindless hamster wheel.

I've decided to stop swimming against the current and I'm taking myself out of the river altogether. I need to sit in quiet contemplation to calm my s**t down and find a new opportunity or create the kind of opportunity I want in my life. It might be time for me to pull up roots and start a new chapter somewhere else because this just isn't working for me tonight.

Rant over...I'm hiding under my duvet until I have a better reason to get out of bed other than my stupid day job.  Peace~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2018 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Muse on Snooze

Today, I was unable to hit my 15-page quota, my muse hit the snooze button on me.  I managed eight pages and hit a bit of a wall. As I was writing, I was hit with a big wave of emotion. There I was typing and crying through the scene. Yes, the scene actually made me cry. Big tears streaming down my face, while tip-tapping on my keyboard. And then it stopped. Just like that. Both the emotion and the words...stopped. Screeching halt. Completely blank. I thought I could force the continuation of the scene even without the emotion but then I felt like I was slogging through the scene, trying to force the words, trying to force the scene and neither worked. Bummer! I tried to go back and figure out where it went pear-shaped but I couldn't figure out what line/what made the words stop. I took a deep breath and left it there.  Sometimes you just have to know when to let go. 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2018 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Muse - part deux

Day two: My muse was hard at work writing every line today.  I managed to get most of it down.  I'll need to read it back eventually but not yet. Today my muse gave me eighteen pages.  I thought I would try for 30 pages but my creaky back won't cooperate.  I left a note to myself on the last line of what might be next but that might change between now and when I wake up tomorrow morning.

I'm also trying to line up some references for this application. I'm hoping that I'll hear back on Monday if I can use their names/contact. I'm hopped up on the flow of creative juices.  I'm not sure what to do next but feeling very satisfied with my progress.  Ooo did I just jinx myself.  Nah! I'm good.  I'm going to make myself some Earl Grey Tea and break open one of the new books I've bought last night. I need something light and refreshing to cleanse the palate.  Not sure if I have a book title that fits the bill quite yet.

Last thing I wanted to mention: I had a dream that I had a porcupine resting in my arms and I was petting it's quills. At one point, the porcupine began to let go of its quills because it didn't want to be in my arms anymore. But I kept him in place, passing my hand over it's quills. It was important to keep him in my arms to pet him. Don't ask me why...it was a strange dream. Anyway, the quills would enter the flesh of my arms creating this sharp sensation of pain and pleasure. At one point I had one of the quills under my chin and when I yanked it, the barbed effect of the quill ripped the flesh into a bigger wound.  I woke up with a start, touching my chin and arms to see if any quills were left behind. Hmmm. Interesting, right?

Okay, that's all I have for tonight. With a curtsy I bid you adieu.

L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2018 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.