Thursday, February 14, 2013

Perk Me Up

The sun is out today. That’s helped perk me up. I’ve been pretty crabby most of this month so far. Yep, you read that right. The month. That’s why the posts have been fewer and far between lately. I am trying not to whinge too much up on this platform. I have moments of respite but for the most part I’ve been grumbling into my teacup pretty consistently. Today that dark cloud over my head has some sun rays breaking through.

Let’s see what have I been up to that I could share? I’ve been spending most of my downtime reading these days. Currently reading Jo Walton’s Among Others. I have to say, I don’t really understand why it has won so many awards. It’s such a simple story that I’m completely perplexed at the hype over this book. As I’ve been reading along, I’ve been expecting the story to become richer. It reads like a compendium to the Science Fiction genre. Indicating to other titles to make a point and you have to have a vast knowledge of the genre to get the connection. Hmph. I am a chapter away from finishing the book and the big confrontation is happening…but it’s all so very late in the game at this point. Ergh! As a reader, there is just no level of satisfaction. As a writer, the craft, the story arc just feels a bit incomplete, as if, there was more story to tell. This is one of those books that I’ll leave in the lobby of my building for someone else to pick up. No point in taking up bookshelf space. That’s the other reason why I’m a bit miffed at this novel, I actually bought a hardcopy. I was browsing in St. Mark’s bookstore, a small indie shop, perusing the shelves and I read the back cover copy and it promised me so much more than the book delivered. I thought it was going to be a keeper, the kind that I would read over and over again. If nothing else, I think it’s taught me to start using the library more regularly…hehehe.

I haven’t been watching much television. All the shows (even my favorites) seem so vacuous these days. So my DVR is creating quite the collection of unwatched shows.

I think it’s time to raid my shelves for something more substantial like Philip Pullman or Kathe Koja. I want to let the rest of the world fall away and become lost in someone else’s world. Perhaps it’s time to go back to my novel and start the revising process. *nervous at the prospect *

Last bit, Ben Howard is singing at Central Park Summerstage in July. I’m going to see if I can pick up a ticket for that concert. I think he’s going to be fantastic live.
I’m attaching an old Tegan & Sara song, Living Room to this entry. Next Tuesday is their make-up concert after last month’s cancellation. Yay! * Joy! Joy! *

That’s all I’ve got.

Peace out,

L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Friday, February 8, 2013

White Eyelashes


Have I mentioned lately how much I love snow? This morning on my way to the train station, the snowflakes were plump as they were falling. They stuck to my eyelashes, so it looked like I had tiny white fur muffs for my eyelashes. Haha!! The only thing I don’t like is when the wind picked up and the snow started coming at me sideways. Too many landed inside my ears....eeek!! I don’t like the way cold melting snowflakes feel in my ears. Ergh!! The storm is supposed to hit this area later tonight so the office is dead quiet this afternoon. Most people stayed home…so what the heck am I doing here? It’s almost 2 pm and I’m ready to go home and hibernate. My sister has a couple of bottles of wine at home…yes, break out the Malbec. Yum.

On Wednesday, I had to stay home because I had a full on migraine. Light sensitivity, nausea, and half my head on fire. Then once it passed a hollowed out aching feeling in my skull. Once the pain passed I could function again.

On Thursday, I was met with a wall of paper. The term paper-pusher was earned on that day. Haha!!

Today, I’ve been going through bouts of annoyances but I realized that it stems from being a control freak. There are some systems at my day job that are not very efficient. Ergh. That type A personality is such a pain in the ass at times. I need to channel that Type A personality for my own life, for my own work. Perhaps, the lack of writing the last week and half has me a bit on edge. Okay, late next week back to revising the novel.

Last bit, I’ve embedded Pink’s new video Just Give Me A Reason above. Love the song. I’ve played it so many times today!!  Enjoy!!!
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Monday Again

Monday. Bright winter sun. There is a bite to the wind. My face wanted to crack off this morning. Just tucked my chin and kept walking.

I spent the weekend in therapy. Haha. Actually, more like a marathon of Season 2 of Being Erica. A little Canadian show that I loved because it was smart and quirky and it had a lot of heart. Anyway, on this show Erica Strange is going through special kind of therapy and I followed her down the rabbit hole. The show has been off the air for about a year now and watching this show again felt like I was visiting with old friends. Even better I was reminded of when I take things too seriously, I am either caught up too much in the past or worrying too much about to the future and forgetting about what is working in my present. I know I’ve written numerous times of this phenomenon. It seems to be a broken record for me. However, something else I took away from the show was that the grief I feel needs to be felt and it will go away eventually. I felt reassured. I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I’m too hard on myself. Hmmm perhaps.

Talking to my best friend yesterday, he reminded me that when I venture into a new territory I have a tendency to retreat and self-sabotage. Or at least turn the anxiety and insecurities against myself. Yes, very true. Don’t we all? Oh no? Really? Not everyone does that? Trying new things isn’t always very comfortable for me. And I’ve been trying to expand my social circle by dating again. Ergh. I always know that I’m going into unchartered territories when I started doing the cha-cha. You know the moves. Two steps forward, two steps back, one step forward, two back. You get the point. I think what I’ve been failing to mention is that I’m still trying my hand at it…I haven’t quit. There is no YET at the end of that sentence.

Anyway, I know I have a lot of pent up anger and perhaps I should take up boxing or kick-boxing. I need to do something about this high level of aggression coursing through my veins. ‘Cause I can feel my mouth start to pull into a snarl when dealing with people lately. My mild manner façade is starting to fray at the edges.

My personal to-do list is long today. I need to clone myself and have them work on half the list while I work the other half. Or cut my list in half so I don’t quit before I even start. Hehehe. I need to trick myself into getting some work done. What I would rather do is just go home, change my clothes and take a nap. Since that’s not actually going to happen…break the list in half will be more like it.
All for now.
Peace,

L~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.