Friday, July 27, 2012
Cleaning the Wood Stove too well
Okay, I admit it. I’m wound up pretty tight. I care about being efficient and meticulous and uber-organized with work (doesn’t really translate to my creative life but we’ll get back to that in a minute). It’s in my DNA, I’m first-born and I grew up as a latch-key kid because both parents worked several jobs to make ends meet. I looked after my younger sisters, I cooked dinner for my folks, me and my sister cleaned the house spotless because that was the expectation. It made me self-sufficient and I get things done. In the past, I would use work as my refuge from the chaos that permeates my life. Some of that chaos is self-perpetuated and some of it is not. With my hyper-focus set on the work place, I’ve allowed things to slide in my personal life. Ooo even as I write these words, I could feel a wave of panic clutch my throat.
My friend Tony told me this story during one of my meltdown moments over work (many years ago):
One day Tony’s mother asked him to clean out the wood stove. He was a teenager at the time. It was not his favorite job because it was both messy and time consuming. Anyway, his mom was really getting on him to take care of this chore and she also asked his sister to clean it out as well. Neither jumped at the chore. Finally, Tony gave in and cleaned out this old wood stove, cleared out the ash and the debris, and scrubbed it clean. It took him a really long time but by the end it was in the best condition it’s looked in years. His mom was so impressed by what a good job he’d done on the wood stove that the next time it was his sister’s turn to clean the wood stove and his sister made a fuss, she turned to Tony and asked him to take care of it because he had done such a good job the last time. Hehehe. (I love this story)
Whenever, I try to “clean the wood stove too well” at work, he gently reminds me what happens. Expectations start to pile on. That’s not necessarily a bad thing if my day job was in line with my career path. Instead, this job affords me to pay rent, buy groceries and still allow me to work on my creative work. I’m grateful for the steady paycheck but I know, like all things, this job is temporary. I’m not stating this from a Buddhist perspective but quite literally this is a temp job that will have lasted two years come this August. *knock on wood *
My initial point to this blog entry is I’m working on taking care of myself now (way to bury the lead). I think I’m finally learning that pouring all my neurotic efforts into the day job won’t add value to my life…not really.
What will add value is paying attention to:
my health (I’ve started to take measures on getting my weight down by eating better and exercising regularly)
to my creative life (because that is where I thrive when I do it consistently)
to my spiritual life (I’ve been training in shaman studies)
a more mindful practice of living in the present moment
and better relationships with my family and friends.
I think all these components have been swirling high over my head and I was delaying the inevitable of putting it into practice. After my weekend retreat away from the city, things began to quickly click into place. I'm taking things in stride a bit better, I feel more awake/alive, I'm having more pleasurable moments (always a good sign). I try to add a little bit more action to those elements into my life every day and it’s made such a huge difference in such a short amount of time. I am very pleased *big cheesy smile *
Last bit, I'm going to take a month-long haitus from writing blog entries in August. I can't promise that I'll stay away entirely but I won't be writing as regularly. I just need some time to put fully into practice some very new habits.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Much more than what's here
I’m taking a break with a hot cup of earl grey tea and an oatmeal cookie with raisins…yum my favorite. Despite the muggy day outside, the office is ice cold. Brrr.
The last couple of days, in thinking about my novel, I’ve been thinking about how limited our resources really are. You see, I’ve been trying to imagine a world were oil has been used up. No more oil. What would that look like? We would not be able to produce any more cars, have any gas to run cars, have fuel for the large machinery that filters our water but what about the day to day products. No more new plastic products. No more lotions, hair product, the containers that contain them. At least nothing new would be able to be produced. What we will have to contend with is the tons of waste that we have thrown away. I wonder if we would learn then to actually re-use those containers that we throw out without much thought.
It’s odd, this shifting perspective to imagine how the world would look like. No fuel for trucks would mean, no one carting away our walls of garbage. Where would it go? The few times the garbage companies went on strike in our lifetime, the smell of a week’s worth of garbage piled high along the sidewalks come to mind. Aren’t other countries now dealing with such a dilemma? There is much more in my head than what I’m actually writing out.
There would be no more jobs…not the kind where you bring home a paycheck. And once the mobs and scavengers have snatched up as many supplies as they can, then what? How do people survive? In a city setting, where are food sources going to come from? A little plot garden? Not sure that would sustain the masses. Would people stay in cities…or would they leave out into the suburbs where they can raise goats and chickens and lots of veggies. It does my head in to start thinking this way. I sometimes think that I will see this in my lifetime. Eek scary.
Anyway, my sister laughs at me when I want to save glass jars. They make a good place to store dry goods once they’ve been cleaned and dried thoroughly. Why throw them away? I think she worries that I am turning into a hoarder. I’m not hoarding…I’m conscious of the impact of our garbage lately. This is not to say that I’m perfect about this, in fact it’s a work in progress…but I grew up in the 70’s and I remember when we used wax paper and brown paper bags for our lunches instead of plastic cling and plastic bags. I remember real efforts to curb waste. I think the lessons sunk in deep and now I’m thinking about the future generations. How will they fare?
So for my very small part, I’m going to start giving up products. No more make-up, no more cosmetics (I will allow myself eye-liner ‘cause a girl needs something), no crazy skin cleansing products. I’m sticking to environmentally-friendly soap and witch hazel. No more hair products once I finish my hair gel. No more dying my hair. I’m going to go back to a natural dark brown color with a little grey instead of the red-tint that I seem to live on. I’d really like to give up deodorant but I’m sure my family, friends and office mates will complain very loudly. I’m just thinking about all the chemicals in just these basic products as well as the containers they come in. Ergh. I know my small contribution is like a drop in the ocean but so be it. I’m keeping it simple.
Peace and hair grease,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
The last couple of days, in thinking about my novel, I’ve been thinking about how limited our resources really are. You see, I’ve been trying to imagine a world were oil has been used up. No more oil. What would that look like? We would not be able to produce any more cars, have any gas to run cars, have fuel for the large machinery that filters our water but what about the day to day products. No more new plastic products. No more lotions, hair product, the containers that contain them. At least nothing new would be able to be produced. What we will have to contend with is the tons of waste that we have thrown away. I wonder if we would learn then to actually re-use those containers that we throw out without much thought.
It’s odd, this shifting perspective to imagine how the world would look like. No fuel for trucks would mean, no one carting away our walls of garbage. Where would it go? The few times the garbage companies went on strike in our lifetime, the smell of a week’s worth of garbage piled high along the sidewalks come to mind. Aren’t other countries now dealing with such a dilemma? There is much more in my head than what I’m actually writing out.
There would be no more jobs…not the kind where you bring home a paycheck. And once the mobs and scavengers have snatched up as many supplies as they can, then what? How do people survive? In a city setting, where are food sources going to come from? A little plot garden? Not sure that would sustain the masses. Would people stay in cities…or would they leave out into the suburbs where they can raise goats and chickens and lots of veggies. It does my head in to start thinking this way. I sometimes think that I will see this in my lifetime. Eek scary.
Anyway, my sister laughs at me when I want to save glass jars. They make a good place to store dry goods once they’ve been cleaned and dried thoroughly. Why throw them away? I think she worries that I am turning into a hoarder. I’m not hoarding…I’m conscious of the impact of our garbage lately. This is not to say that I’m perfect about this, in fact it’s a work in progress…but I grew up in the 70’s and I remember when we used wax paper and brown paper bags for our lunches instead of plastic cling and plastic bags. I remember real efforts to curb waste. I think the lessons sunk in deep and now I’m thinking about the future generations. How will they fare?
So for my very small part, I’m going to start giving up products. No more make-up, no more cosmetics (I will allow myself eye-liner ‘cause a girl needs something), no crazy skin cleansing products. I’m sticking to environmentally-friendly soap and witch hazel. No more hair products once I finish my hair gel. No more dying my hair. I’m going to go back to a natural dark brown color with a little grey instead of the red-tint that I seem to live on. I’d really like to give up deodorant but I’m sure my family, friends and office mates will complain very loudly. I’m just thinking about all the chemicals in just these basic products as well as the containers they come in. Ergh. I know my small contribution is like a drop in the ocean but so be it. I’m keeping it simple.
Peace and hair grease,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Uhm, yeah!
This weekend I went to see Oliver Stone's Savages. Eeek! The violence was a bit more than I could bear. I should know better from Stone but I was intrigued and wanted to see...now I wish I hadn't. Ergh. Oh, and I have to say that I really don't like movies that gives two endings, come on! What a freaking cop out. Choose one and go with it!! My preference would have been the first version. And Salma Hayek was AMAZING! And Benecio del Toro was uber-creepy and reminded me of some family members...weird but true.
It's early in the morning and I had some time to kill before I had to hop on a train to go to work so I thought I'd post an entry. Better now than later. I went to bed early last night...I'm starting to feel a bit under the weather. I'm not sure if I'm coming down with a cold or my hypochondria has kicked in. I visited my mom in the hospital on Saturday. She had knee replacement surgery done. Poor mami. She was in a lot of pain the first three days. Ergh! By the time I went to see her on Friday night, she was feeling better. Altho' that visit taught me that I should never, ever be a nurse 'cause I tried helping her to the bathroom and managed to bump her bad leg three times. Oops, sorry mami.
On Saturday, I stopped by and kept her company for a couple of hours and Ces and her kids stopped by. Around lunch time the nurse came in with a tray of food and my two youngest nieces sat right next to my mom because they wanted to eat too. Really?! Hospital food? Yes, indeed-y. They ate bread with butter and managed to eat the boiled carrots and slices of roast beef. Well the nurse took pity on us and gave us an extra tray of food. LOL! My nieces are scavengers...LOL! Very funny to watch. They reminded me of a swarm of locusts...once they finished they went back to watching cartoons.
My mom's church lady friends stopped by while she was away doing her physical therapy so there I was trying to entertain these older Spanish women. They bombarded me with questions since they barely knew me...I felt like I was in the middle of an inquisition. My grandmother jumped me and save me from having to answer too many personal questions. Go grandma! She's old school, not into sharing too much personal info with people because she thinks it'll be used against you. Hehehe. At that moment, I sure appreciated it.
Anyway, mami comes out of the hospital on Wednesday. I'll go trek down to Brooklyn tonight for a visit, then hop on the express line back to the Bronx. I've got a long day ahead of me so I may as well go get my day started.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
It's early in the morning and I had some time to kill before I had to hop on a train to go to work so I thought I'd post an entry. Better now than later. I went to bed early last night...I'm starting to feel a bit under the weather. I'm not sure if I'm coming down with a cold or my hypochondria has kicked in. I visited my mom in the hospital on Saturday. She had knee replacement surgery done. Poor mami. She was in a lot of pain the first three days. Ergh! By the time I went to see her on Friday night, she was feeling better. Altho' that visit taught me that I should never, ever be a nurse 'cause I tried helping her to the bathroom and managed to bump her bad leg three times. Oops, sorry mami.
On Saturday, I stopped by and kept her company for a couple of hours and Ces and her kids stopped by. Around lunch time the nurse came in with a tray of food and my two youngest nieces sat right next to my mom because they wanted to eat too. Really?! Hospital food? Yes, indeed-y. They ate bread with butter and managed to eat the boiled carrots and slices of roast beef. Well the nurse took pity on us and gave us an extra tray of food. LOL! My nieces are scavengers...LOL! Very funny to watch. They reminded me of a swarm of locusts...once they finished they went back to watching cartoons.
My mom's church lady friends stopped by while she was away doing her physical therapy so there I was trying to entertain these older Spanish women. They bombarded me with questions since they barely knew me...I felt like I was in the middle of an inquisition. My grandmother jumped me and save me from having to answer too many personal questions. Go grandma! She's old school, not into sharing too much personal info with people because she thinks it'll be used against you. Hehehe. At that moment, I sure appreciated it.
Anyway, mami comes out of the hospital on Wednesday. I'll go trek down to Brooklyn tonight for a visit, then hop on the express line back to the Bronx. I've got a long day ahead of me so I may as well go get my day started.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
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