It’s a dark overcast Thursday morning. It’s supposed to rain all day today. uhm, yea.
Yesterday was a bit of a wash for me. I couldn’t motivate myself to do more than make myself tea. I did manage to go to dinner with a friend which helped turn my mood around quite a bit. Yay for that and thank goodness.
But work was work and I didn’t have enough to do, which meant that I had an open day to write. But words wouldn’t formulate, at least not in a creative sort of way. Instead I wrote a 2,000 word journal entry to work through a myriad of emotional crap that’s been coming up for me. I just wrote in 500-word increments in between my manager asking me to do a little task here and a little task there. The tasks would take me 10-15 minutes to do. The writing would take a good 30 minutes. It is what it is. I’m not complaining….much.
When I get stuck creatively, I can usually get started on a piece by using a really good line from someone else’s work and just riff and play off of it. Then just delete that first line and revise the piece accordingly. That didn’t quite work yesterday because I was too angry. Anger can blind me and stop me in my tracks. I’m sure there are much better writers out there who use the anger to write but I can’t quite make that shift. In fact, the anger engulfed me and kept me in a strangle hold for most of the day. I reached out to my sister, just to vocalize that emotion. “I was so angry I could taste my liver in my mouth.” Ick but true.
My vexation sat down in the middle of the day and refused to move. Arms folded, legs criss-crossed refusing to budge. I have remnants of it left today but last night’s talk loosened it up. Enough to appreciate the warm wind on my way to work. My goal today is to write 4 more poems for tomorrow’s writing group. I plan on finishing up my artist statement today. Organize my receipts for my accountant. And finish reading Ann Lamott’s book Bird by Bird. Those are my priorities. Let’s see how it goes today.
Peace~
Lily
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Clearing the cobwebs
Yesterday, I managed to write a rough draft of my artist statement, hitting all the main points the grant is asking for. So it’s in bullet point form at the moment. I will work on smoothing out the edges in the coming days. I also revised five poems that I plan on sending. Five down, ten more to go. I worked solidly for two and a half hours last night once I got home from work. By 9 pm I was done for the night and I curled up to watch a cute French movie with Audrey Tautou called Priceless. The movie made me giggle and it was a nice treat after a long day.
Unfortunately, despite the work, I was restless and I tossed and turned for a good long while. After being so depleted energy-wise the past month (being sick with a chest cold), my energy is starting to rise again and I know I need to do a little more exercise. I spend 8.5 hours a day sitting behind a desk and then I go home and sit and work for another 2.5 hours writing…yes, I think my body is definitely telling me I need to go stretch and work out. Hmmm…how am I going to fit that in? I can barely get up in the morning as it is. Last night I was up until 1 am and up by 6:30. (5.5 hours of sleep). No wonder I feel not quite here today.
I am currently sipping a crappy cup of tea. No flavor, no body…just a watery thin version of what I like to drink. Hmmm. I should really get up and fix myself another cup…or at the very least stop drinking this one.
So tonight I’ll step off a couple of stops before my actual train stop and walk home. A 20-minute uphill walk may help clear the cobwebs and perhaps a bit of stretching when I get home. That will at least help get me started, yes? Then continue with revising some more material for my application and revise my statement. Plus writing group is on Friday so I can use feedback on new material, so there is that to write. Back to work.
Peace~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Unfortunately, despite the work, I was restless and I tossed and turned for a good long while. After being so depleted energy-wise the past month (being sick with a chest cold), my energy is starting to rise again and I know I need to do a little more exercise. I spend 8.5 hours a day sitting behind a desk and then I go home and sit and work for another 2.5 hours writing…yes, I think my body is definitely telling me I need to go stretch and work out. Hmmm…how am I going to fit that in? I can barely get up in the morning as it is. Last night I was up until 1 am and up by 6:30. (5.5 hours of sleep). No wonder I feel not quite here today.
I am currently sipping a crappy cup of tea. No flavor, no body…just a watery thin version of what I like to drink. Hmmm. I should really get up and fix myself another cup…or at the very least stop drinking this one.
So tonight I’ll step off a couple of stops before my actual train stop and walk home. A 20-minute uphill walk may help clear the cobwebs and perhaps a bit of stretching when I get home. That will at least help get me started, yes? Then continue with revising some more material for my application and revise my statement. Plus writing group is on Friday so I can use feedback on new material, so there is that to write. Back to work.
Peace~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Monday, monday...
I woke up this morning not wanting to get out of bed. I set my alarm for 5 am so I could get up and write and only just managed to get out of bed at 6:50 am. Blah!
Friday night met up with my writing group. It was a small circle of three but the feedback I received from my peers was right on. I could see where the work needed to be tightened and what lines fell flat but they also told me what lines were strong and what really worked. I’m in good shape. I’m pulling together a grant application and I need 15 pages of poetry. Yes, I can recycle some of my older work and I’ll have about 5 pages worth of that lot BUT I also want to put forth newer work. My writing is changing. It’s a natural process as I spend more time putting words onto a page and I want the work to reflect that development.
Let’s see what else? I managed to pack five more boxes for my impending move (some time in the next couple of weeks). I’m stacking them up in the living room and Mami is not happy with the prospect of boxes stacked in the corner. Good lord! She expects me to keep them in my room and that’s not really going to work. So I continue to stack them anyway. Hell, it is what it is.
Also more research for my next novel and jotting down notes. I’ll probably get started on putting some word count into it tonight. I seem to be constructing long passages but I don’t quite have a sense of what I’m writing about yet.
And if I procrastinate on this work, I’ll be putting time into the grant application. I have to write an artist statement talking about my writing process. I always find that I make this kind of thing harder on myself than it needs to be. After all, I write more and more about the process and should be getting much needed practice on that element, right? But nooooooo, instead I hem and haw in front of the page completely blank as to what to write. This time I’m writing it first. In fact, I found an essay I wrote several years ago about why I write poetry. Who knew I had something to say on the subject. It’s good material to draw from. So much to do, so little time.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Friday night met up with my writing group. It was a small circle of three but the feedback I received from my peers was right on. I could see where the work needed to be tightened and what lines fell flat but they also told me what lines were strong and what really worked. I’m in good shape. I’m pulling together a grant application and I need 15 pages of poetry. Yes, I can recycle some of my older work and I’ll have about 5 pages worth of that lot BUT I also want to put forth newer work. My writing is changing. It’s a natural process as I spend more time putting words onto a page and I want the work to reflect that development.
Let’s see what else? I managed to pack five more boxes for my impending move (some time in the next couple of weeks). I’m stacking them up in the living room and Mami is not happy with the prospect of boxes stacked in the corner. Good lord! She expects me to keep them in my room and that’s not really going to work. So I continue to stack them anyway. Hell, it is what it is.
Also more research for my next novel and jotting down notes. I’ll probably get started on putting some word count into it tonight. I seem to be constructing long passages but I don’t quite have a sense of what I’m writing about yet.
And if I procrastinate on this work, I’ll be putting time into the grant application. I have to write an artist statement talking about my writing process. I always find that I make this kind of thing harder on myself than it needs to be. After all, I write more and more about the process and should be getting much needed practice on that element, right? But nooooooo, instead I hem and haw in front of the page completely blank as to what to write. This time I’m writing it first. In fact, I found an essay I wrote several years ago about why I write poetry. Who knew I had something to say on the subject. It’s good material to draw from. So much to do, so little time.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
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