Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Down the Rabbit Hole

Can we just move past the fact that I haven't written on this blog for over a year? Yes, let's do that...we can come back to what I've been up to after I get some of these thoughts down on the page, as fast as I can possibly type. Forgive any typos/misspellings/terrible grammar mistakes...I'll probably fix them later anyway. 

First off, this week I've been on vacation. After a very stressful, difficult year yours truly has been heading down the path of total annihilation. A bit extreme term I know. I've needed to make some changes in my life. Perhaps what I mean to write is that I've been breaking myself down into smaller manageable parts because the chaos of both the outer world and my interior world have been breaking me wide open. I will not go into a rant on the socio/political/economic turmoil happening out in the world right now. I sincerely can't handle it right now.  My physical body wants to shut down and play dead if I delve into it too deeply tonight.

Instead, I will tell you about the three books that I am currently working through this week.  I am reading a chapter every day and trying to process out what the work brings up through journaling. Three titles:
1. Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection - I started reading this book half-heartedly in the Summer but found myself turning away because it was too difficult to deal with what it was bringing up for me. I came back to it at the end of last month and something clicked. I am further along now and trying to face some of my demons along the way. As always, easier said than done but I'm flexing my courage muscle to see if I can find a new way of approaching my life and those tender, vulnerable places that need some serious healing love.
2. Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski - Okay, this book is changing my life right now. I didn't realize how much stuck stress (and stress stew) I was sitting on, and what kind of physical damage it was causing my body. Honestly, the chronic migraines should have been my tip-off.  This book was recommended by my therapist in the Spring but I was too busy and too stressed out to even read it back then. Yes, I see the irony in that last statement. But now that I know and I can't un-know the information that it's given me. 
3. Emotional Agility by Susan David - This is my most recent addition and I'm trying to find some emotional balance in the face of so much uncertainty, stress and life challenges. When I know more I will write more. 

Writing -  In the past month, I've gone back to writing creatively. Working on a new writing project after all this time. It feels good to spend some time creating again. Gosh, I should have known I would spiral out without having some ties to my writing life. The new work-in-progress is called Valentina, this is not the final title. Hopefully, I'll have a first draft done by the end of the year. 

Yoga - I'm back to a daily practice of yoga. I started off as a need to stretch after sitting in front of a computer all day/all year. And now it's a good release to work through some of the stress in my life. 

Meditation - Yep, that's right, I'm meditating twice a day for at least 15 minutes. Once in the morning before I get my day going. I quiet my mind and breathe deeply. Most days, it's trying to shut down the task master and the endless to-do list. Also taking a formal meditation class once a week. It helps to be in community with others who are meditating. It makes me feel a little less alone in the world. 
And meditate as the last thing i do before I got to bed. Helps slow down my over active brain. The last two weeks before vacation I was sleeping less than 4 hours a night because my brain would not turn off. I was barely functioning. The meditation has helped a great deal. I think I would have been worse off if I hadn't been meditating. Oh, a big shout-out to Dan Harris' book 10% Happier. It's part of the reason why I went down this self-empowering rabbit hole. Thanks Dan!!  

Painting - I actually mean painting my apartment. I love listening to musicals  while brightening up my home space. This week, I finally sealed my window ledge and painted it to a lovely light green color. I've been meaning to do this for the past year. It's finally done. Yay! Super pleased that I finally got it done. It's definitely not perfect because I'm not a professional contractor.  But I still get real pleasure for getting things accomplished. When I got this apartment, I made a long list of all the things I needed to fix/improve/work on. I've managed to get quite a bit done so Yay!  

Music- there are two songs that I can't stop playing over and over again. Justin Bieber's Ghost. Now don't hate. This tune made me stop in my tracks. The other song is The Other Side with Zac Efron and Hugh Jackman (from the Greatest Showman soundtrack). I seriously can't stop myself from jumping around my apartment when this story comes on. It actually brings me joy. On  that note, I'll leave it there for now.

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2021 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Sunday, June 14, 2020

OMG! It's been too long...

First thing....my latest song obsession GHOST by Kylie Rothfield, produced by Ester Dean. Love Kylie Rothfield's tone, love the lyrics, love this song. It has so much ache and pain that I can't stop listening to it over and over again. You need to put the close captions on because the words are gorgeous. Before I even put it up on this blog, it was making me well up. So good!!  

Gosh, it's been 6 month since I last wrote on this blog. Nothing much has been going on. Pandemic, protests, looting, fires, working from home...you know, same old, same old. Not! 

This blog was always supposed to be about the creative work, my process and even a bit of whinging. However, my day job has basically hijacked my brain for the past year and a half. That's the very short answer to the very complicated question of, "where have you been hiding?" 

I've been working and reading. That's a fair assessment of the past six months.  I've been binge reading on books because I've been out of pace with my writing. I'd rather navel gaze than pick a pen up to write. My sister Ces is (right now) writing a story that she's so excited about that she's trying to finish it, so she can bring over a draft for me to read. Seriously?!  Ugh, I have no excuses. * head hung low in proverbial shame * 

My friend J gave me a couple of cheesy romance novels to read, very niche, very quirky...I won't even bother with the title but the writer in me was appalled at the simple story. The writer's inability to keep to the story arc. The climax of the story was 10 pages from the end of the book. Terrible! So disappointing and formulaic. I won't get back the couple of hours that this 200 page novel took from me. I'm sure you're asking, "well why didn't you just stop reading after the first 10 pages?" The quirkiness of the language kept me engaged and it had some funny literary references that made me laugh out loud. I admit it, I'm a literary geek and once I'm engaged in some way, I need to see it to the end. 

I digress, my point is that reading this book reminds me I am quite capable of writing my own novel/play/story. Seriously!!!  I can't stop saying that word...even in my own head. 

Next week, I'm taking a couple of days off just to give myself a break from work. I am going to spend those three extra days painting my living room (FINALLY!!!) Can't wait. I love painting, it takes me out of my head and the task itself is almost meditative. I've already taken all the books and DVDs out of the bookshelf and piled them on my dining table. If I can tackle moving the furniture out of the way, then painting on my own won't be quite so overwhelming. I was going to reach out to a friend to see if she has time to help but I have a hard time asking for help. There is a part of me that thinks..."I can do this on my own" and only when I'm in my 6th hour of trying to paint edges will I kick myself for not having reached out to friends or family. Stubborn. Like Mule <said in a Russian accent>  The other part is that it's a small space and once I move furniture, there won't be much room to navigate. Better to do it on my own so no one gets hurt.  Ha!

The last bit that I wanted to share is that I tried out for a playwriting residency with a NYC theater. I received my rejection letter at the beginning of this month. What a bummer! My creative life has taken a dramatic turn AWAY from where I had hoped to have been with produced and published work. Does that last sentence even make sense?  I've read it several times and I still don't know if it's grammatically correct. I'm losing my touch. Where is my Modern English Usage book?  Oh, that's right at the bottom of a pile on my dining room table.

That's all I for today. I don't know if I'm going to keep this blog going but at least for today, just one more entry into the ether.  

-Lily


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2020 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Willie Perdomo - The Essential Hits of Shorty Bon Bon

The National Books Critics Circle announced the 2014 finalists on Jan. 19th.  Every time a book award list comes out I scan it eagerly to see who made it.  There have been years when, I will admit, there have been tinges of jealousy but not this time.  This year, a fellow writer from my writing program Willie Perdomo made it onto the list and when I saw his name I wanted to cheer out loud in my very quiet office space.  He was nominated for his book of poetry: The Essential Hits of Shorty Bon Bon (penguin books). How bloody fantastic is that?! I wanted a chance to cheer for one of our own from Long Island University Graduate Writing Program.  Here's to Willie Perdomo, a truly deserving poet.

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2014 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.