Sour Kiss

Today I spent the day writing.  I'm experimenting with narrative poetry and I'm not sure how it's working yet.  I am thinking of Kristin Prevallet's essays in I, AfterLife or Dennison Smith's novel Scavenger. Neither example actually fit the term narrative poetry but it's definitely a specific kind of storytelling that I'm trying. I'd mention Walcott's Omeros or Ondaatje's The English Patient but that kind of storytelling is a league all their own.

I am just letting the words come out first.  No holds bar.  It's partly autobiographical and at time I can feel my censor sitting on my shoulder whispering..."you can't write that, then everyone will know." And I write the words anyway.  It's terribly graphic and I have a tendency to want to fix the language from it's raw state but I stop myself and tell myself to keep going. I wrote over 2,600 words with my starting point being a 300-word working poem called Sour Kiss.

I turned down an invitation to go out because I have been promising myself some quiet time to write.  I wanted to get beyond journal entries and note scraps.  I wanted to get beyond the recycled bullshit that is constantly churning in the grey matter.  I'm writing about being with the Cuban...a pivotal relationship that I had back in the late 90's. It's taken me a long time to be able to write from an honest place about that chapter  in my life but I finally feel ready to tackle it.  It's not an easy process but the mix of creative narrative with memory helps with the transitions.

It's strange to listen so closely to the echoes of my past.  I'm trying to capture moments and feelings but it still feels like I'm on the outskirts of the story.  Tomorrow I will work some more and see how far I get.  My goal is to get the words down...no revising for now.  But I've worked long enough and I need a dinner break now.  I think it's time to go get some sushi or at the very least order in.  Hmmm decisions, decisions.   A good walk in the afternoon rain sounds about right.  

Peace,
L~


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2014 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Black Roses - Clare Bowen and Lucy Schwartz

Just because it's a gorgeous song.

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2014 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Strike a Balance

I'll be honest with you, the last couple of days I've been pretty grumpy.  I have been challenging myself to move past my own complacency.  I've extended some invitations to co-workers to have lunch...folks who I find interesting and who I'd like to get to know better.  You would think...it's socializing 101...but for me it doesn't come easy. Being a creative person, I tend to live in my head and I get VERY comfortable staying in my little shell. For the most part, I don't mind being a loner but I'm trying something new. It's not always comfortable nor is it very easy.

Lately, I miss writing. I've been jotting down notes, zygotes of ideas, barely fully formed that are worming their way to the surface.  I feel a little lost when I am not actively engaged with creative writing in some form every single day.  For me, jotting down lines just doesn't feel like it's ever really enough.  Hmm, that sounds like my Type A personality rearing it's head, excuse me while I put her back in that closet. Yes, still wresting between over-working and under-working.  Where to strike the balance?

Like this for instance...I wrote on the train home one night.

A couple huddles in a dark embrace 

of tongue, teeth and wet lips

who are they but youthful gods

searching for their power 

in the mouth 

in the love 

of an(other)

a reflection of potential being

the city alight with possibilities

future wakefulness.  

Not really sure yet what it needs to become but the words are on the page at least.  

Why am I not writing?  I am still dealing with some health issues that are not fully resolved so after a full day of work all I can really do is crash.  So the tidbits of scrap paper at the bottom of my purse and the notes in my lavender-colored notebook will have to do for now until I can begin again.  Today-Wednesday April 30th, I've completed two months of working at this new job.  It's been an adjustment and I'm still adjusting but more importantly I need to do my own creative work to balance out my day job. All for now will write more soon.  

Peace,

Lily~

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2014 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.