How I Learned to Drive by Paula Vogel

Last Friday, I went to see the play, How I Learned to Drive written by Paula Vogel. The piece is about an affair between its protagonist Li'l Bit, and her uncle Peck. It takes place over the course of years, with the character of Li'l Bit maturing from age eleven to eighteen before she puts an end to it. Before I went to see this piece, I knew the playwright approached the pedophilia subject matter in an ambiguous way. In fact, I was interested in the ambiguity.

However, this play just went too far into the other direction. I don’t know if it was the stage direction or the material itself but at one point, the young girl was held responsible for the uncle’s “indiscretion”. I began reading some of the behind -the-scene material about how the actors broached the subject matter and Norbert Butz talks about the play being a love story. I really wrestle with this description because sexual abuse of minors and it’s long lasting impact cannot be justified with this idea of love. After all, pedophiles love their young victims.

I understand this play was controversial when it first came out. I read somewhere that Vogel took Nabikov’s Lolita and tried to tell the story from Lolita’s point of view. My problem with it is that at the very end of the relationship Li’l Bit is 18 years old and she rejects her uncle Peck but only after she is a walking wreck herself. By this time, she has dropped out of college with a raging drinking problem and working in a small town factory. I buy the wreckage afterwards but how does a young woman struggling with this past abuse muster the courage to say no to her abuser? The point (I think) is that she has had all the power but this does not speak to the kind of damage that is perpetrated upon the body, mind and spirit of a young person. I just don’t think the “power” was ever earned for Li’l Bit, that is the element that was missing for me. And for this production to try to relay this power dynamic of abuse as a love affair just makes me shudder.

The one breakout moment was when Jennifer Regan, playing the part of Uncle Peck’s wife admits she knew what was happening and blamed Li’l Bit for it. Regan delivered the monologue in such raw and accusatory way that her performance gave me chills. Anyway, my head feels like it’s going to explode because there is so much more I want to say and address but I think I need to get back to my own work.

Peace,

L~
 
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Hiding Under a Blanket of Music

Okay, I readily admit that I am NOT an optimistic person. You’ve read that right and I easily admit it. There is something in my hard wiring where I look at a glass of water and not only do I think it’s half empty but I’m checking to see what kind of toxins are swimming in it. (Yes, that’s been my running joke for a long time, you can’t expect me to give it up now.) This state of pessimism I’ve always re-labeled as being a realist but who was I kidding, I expect the worst to happen. Living in this state of perpetual despondency has at times made it incredibly difficult to enjoy the good when it happens.

I haven’t done much writing on my novel, ergh. It makes my mouth twist up to one side and it’s incredibly frustrating to report that I’m at a stand still on this project. I can’t force things to move forward and I’ve lost some of the heat behind it. My writer friends keep telling me that maybe the work needs more time to incubate. *grumble, grumble, dark storm cloud gathering over my head* My patience is running thin with this work. I’ve decided to put it back on the shelf for the next month. Even writing that sentence makes my stomach and jaw tighten. It feels like I have failed the project some how. Nine chapters in and I’ve fallen asleep at the wheel. How did that happen?

The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that I’m working on a new theater project. It’s too early to start “talking” about it just yet. This idea is a fetus right now and I need writing time to give it some legs. I’m researching some material for it and jotting down ideas on index cards... and I am trying not to look at the binder on the shelf. I’m giving myself a month to write up the first 90-page draft, which comes out to 3 pages a day, which I am capable of doing. I am going to bring it to the writing group only after the first draft has been written. It’ll be easier to explain my intention if I have the material written out ahead of time.

Anyway, going back to the initial impulse of writing this blog entry: I’m going to be more optimistic in the next coming weeks. I’m doing it til the habits sticks. It takes 21 days of daily practice for a habit to form.  Let's see if I can form some new pathways in this stiffening grey matter of mine. I’m going to make a short list of things (ok just 4 things) that I’d like to change about myself and work on them every day. Let’s see how that goes. Wish me luck. :-)

In the meantime, I’ve been hiding under a blanket of music. It’s the only thing that gets me out of my head lately. Thanks to the readers who have been sending me suggestions, they are appreciated. I don’t always put the music or the comments up if the music doesn’t resonate with me (I have quirky tastes), so no hard feelings.

Best,

Lily~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

A music conversation

An anonymous reader sent me a note with a couple of music links to check out.  Out of the three sent, this is the one that grabbed my attention:  Jack White- Love Interruption. The lyrics are AMAZING!! I've been grooving to it the last couple of days and now I can't help but share it.  'Cause when I hear something that moves me...well you know the rest.  Enjoy! 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2012 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.