Monday. It's a grey overcast day and it's a good day to write. I've spent the late morning/early afternoon working on the novel. It's coming along. That's as much as I'll say about the writing. I've hit my wall though. I need more caffeine. I made the mistake of drinking decaf tea earlier and now I'm paying for it with big open-mouthed yawns. I have more work to transcribe so I'm going to take a little break, freshen up my cuppa tea, move around a bit, perhaps a bite for lunch (leftovers) and then back to work.
My temp gig ended last Friday and for a change it didn't freak me out. I thought: at least I'll have some time to work on the writing. Altho' my very efficient agency may have another gig lined up for me starting tomorrow. In the meantime, it's a good day to get some of my own work done. Yay.
Let's see, this weekend, I caught up with a couple of shows that my friend Tony has been telling me to watch for ages. The Fall with Gillian Anderson. It's a UK crime show and she's brilliant in it. There are only a handful of episodes so I was able to watch most of them.
Also, I started watching Hemlock Grove on Netflix. That show I'm still on the fence. Lili Taylor plays a guest role and I love her to bits in this series. The lead characters feel a bit stilted for me but I only managed to watch a couple of them so far. Famka Janssen also plays a character and she steals the show. The evil characters always seem so much more interesting than the do-gooders. She definitely has the creepy mama vibe working for her.
That's all I have for now. Off to find more tea.
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Pity-Partying Tango
Writing Update.
Is this the part where I tell you that I want to quit writing?
The part where I tell you that I have no freakin' idea what I'm doing with this novel.
And I really, really want to give up on it. I mean REALLY!
Light the manuscript on fire and let the whole thing go up in smoke.
Yep, that's how I'm feeling about it these days. I know this feeling will pass but until that feeling passes I wait.
I want to move onto a new project. Perhaps go back to my first love, poetry.
Throw some snow on the wall and see what sticks.
Go back to playwriting and write 110 pages of a full-length play.
Do almost anything else but deal with the vast blankness that I have pertaining to this novel.
The writing muse is gone...or at least in a deep sleep...or a coma....or on vacation.
I try to fake it for awhile but there is just so much faking I can do before I know that the words are not right. The writing isn't getting better. The story is floundering. And so am I.
I read in one of my many books on writing that sometimes if you have shared too much of the story... the creative self will stop writing. Might that be the case? Well I can't un-do the sharing. I can't unpop that cork. Going forward I may hold back and keep my fingers still from writing on my blog about the next project but for right now...I am slowly wallowing in the murky depths of a story that doesn't quite work. Ergh! If I were to start over, hack it up, what would be left over? Perhaps I'm not meant to be a novelist? Who intentionally signs up to be a writer anyway?
I wrote to an old friend to tell them how writing was my first love. And that in my early twenties I thought myself a force to be reckoned with...I wanted to take the publishing world by storm.
Twenty years later, I'm just working on facing the page and not quitting.
My friend reminds me that I persevere, no matter what...I keep moving forward. I feel stuck tonight.
I spent the better part of my adult life working on Plan B, trying to sort out a career, a relationship (a couple of them), some savings for the future. Yes, well that didn't work out either.
There is no more Plan B. Writing is what I have. It's all I've ever wanted to do. And as I sit here rubbing my eyebrows off, I have to say tonight, I just wish I was a better writer.
Better at the craft. Better at making it work. Better at not allowing the funk to get the best of me.
I'm still writing...I spent the better part of the day working on one character. One small slice of the story. How do you build them up so that they seem like living breathing characters? One layer at a time. Ergh!
There have been all these articles lately about how a "writer" must conduct themselves pertaining to their blog in order to build their audience. They say not to share too much personal information, not to whine, not to complain too much. Yep, I've done all of these "no-nos" in varying degrees since I've first started this blog back in 2008. And really, it's not bad advice since you always want to put your best self out there. But for f**k sake this is PART of the writing process too. This unmitigated impatience and pity-partying tango is part of it too. Anyway, that's all I have for tonight. Those articles be damned!
Peace out,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Is this the part where I tell you that I want to quit writing?
The part where I tell you that I have no freakin' idea what I'm doing with this novel.
And I really, really want to give up on it. I mean REALLY!
Light the manuscript on fire and let the whole thing go up in smoke.
Yep, that's how I'm feeling about it these days. I know this feeling will pass but until that feeling passes I wait.
I want to move onto a new project. Perhaps go back to my first love, poetry.
Throw some snow on the wall and see what sticks.
Go back to playwriting and write 110 pages of a full-length play.
Do almost anything else but deal with the vast blankness that I have pertaining to this novel.
The writing muse is gone...or at least in a deep sleep...or a coma....or on vacation.
I try to fake it for awhile but there is just so much faking I can do before I know that the words are not right. The writing isn't getting better. The story is floundering. And so am I.
I read in one of my many books on writing that sometimes if you have shared too much of the story... the creative self will stop writing. Might that be the case? Well I can't un-do the sharing. I can't unpop that cork. Going forward I may hold back and keep my fingers still from writing on my blog about the next project but for right now...I am slowly wallowing in the murky depths of a story that doesn't quite work. Ergh! If I were to start over, hack it up, what would be left over? Perhaps I'm not meant to be a novelist? Who intentionally signs up to be a writer anyway?
I wrote to an old friend to tell them how writing was my first love. And that in my early twenties I thought myself a force to be reckoned with...I wanted to take the publishing world by storm.
Twenty years later, I'm just working on facing the page and not quitting.
My friend reminds me that I persevere, no matter what...I keep moving forward. I feel stuck tonight.
I spent the better part of my adult life working on Plan B, trying to sort out a career, a relationship (a couple of them), some savings for the future. Yes, well that didn't work out either.
There is no more Plan B. Writing is what I have. It's all I've ever wanted to do. And as I sit here rubbing my eyebrows off, I have to say tonight, I just wish I was a better writer.
Better at the craft. Better at making it work. Better at not allowing the funk to get the best of me.
I'm still writing...I spent the better part of the day working on one character. One small slice of the story. How do you build them up so that they seem like living breathing characters? One layer at a time. Ergh!
There have been all these articles lately about how a "writer" must conduct themselves pertaining to their blog in order to build their audience. They say not to share too much personal information, not to whine, not to complain too much. Yep, I've done all of these "no-nos" in varying degrees since I've first started this blog back in 2008. And really, it's not bad advice since you always want to put your best self out there. But for f**k sake this is PART of the writing process too. This unmitigated impatience and pity-partying tango is part of it too. Anyway, that's all I have for tonight. Those articles be damned!
Peace out,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Bittersweet Love
Lots went on the last week and a half. Highlights are long overdue.
On Monday, July 29th- I took the day off from work and went to see Ben Howard in concert in Central Park. Super performance and I enjoyed every minute. His music is just really laid back and groovy. He had a few up-tempo songs that sounded amazing live. But mostly I was there to enjoy his steady grounded vibe. I opted not to stand in the pit so I could actually enjoy the music. I'm uploading a video from YouTube (recorded by R. Ridder) singing Old Pines. Lovely.
On Saturday, I took my niece to see Wolverine. I really must have been in the mood to see this movie because I loved the highly stylized martial arts in this film. There were a couple of scenes that were so over the top that I couldn't help but roll my eyes...like the chase on the high speed train...but for the most part I enjoyed it as summer fare.
Today, I re-read Annie Proulx's short story Brokeback Mountain. As much as I love the movie, I love the actual short story even more. She captures tender moments so well that it physically makes me ache with longing. The language condensed but it speaks volumes. There is one paragraph in the story when Jack is thinking back over his time with Ennis. Ennis wraps an arm around Jack...that moment makes my throat raw with unshed emotion. Even now as I think about it...my throat tightens up with the bittersweetness of the multi-layers of love in its purest form. This story is just so beautiful.
All for now....
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
On Monday, July 29th- I took the day off from work and went to see Ben Howard in concert in Central Park. Super performance and I enjoyed every minute. His music is just really laid back and groovy. He had a few up-tempo songs that sounded amazing live. But mostly I was there to enjoy his steady grounded vibe. I opted not to stand in the pit so I could actually enjoy the music. I'm uploading a video from YouTube (recorded by R. Ridder) singing Old Pines. Lovely.
On Saturday, I took my niece to see Wolverine. I really must have been in the mood to see this movie because I loved the highly stylized martial arts in this film. There were a couple of scenes that were so over the top that I couldn't help but roll my eyes...like the chase on the high speed train...but for the most part I enjoyed it as summer fare.
Today, I re-read Annie Proulx's short story Brokeback Mountain. As much as I love the movie, I love the actual short story even more. She captures tender moments so well that it physically makes me ache with longing. The language condensed but it speaks volumes. There is one paragraph in the story when Jack is thinking back over his time with Ennis. Ennis wraps an arm around Jack...that moment makes my throat raw with unshed emotion. Even now as I think about it...my throat tightens up with the bittersweetness of the multi-layers of love in its purest form. This story is just so beautiful.
All for now....
Peace,
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2013 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
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