Thursday, August 11, 2016

9:24 pm

this is what happens when i turn apathetic. i go blank. forget what i give a shit about. forget who i am, what i'm about. i'm looking for the escape route. the backdoor. boredom blankets my day to day. i am hungry for more of something else. anything else. i forget to breathe. there is more need for quiet. more need to be alone. i have vacation in a little less than two months but i am hanging on by my fingertips.  white knuckling through the week. this is not my self-pity speech. all i have to do is do something different. any thing different.  i'm just stuck in a rut and bored by it all.  i'm reading but need something more substantial.  maybe i'll re-read the english patient.  that book is pure poetry. i want decadence, something i can sink my teeth into, something to remind me what my purpose in this life might be. perhaps it's time to revisit kathe koja...her writing is like music to me.

peace
l~

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