Cobwebs

I've been sick with a bad cold this past weekend. It started last week and has lingered on and on.  I've been curled up on my couch and I've drunk copious amounts of tea and vitamin water. I watched a foreign film that was both heartbreaking and beautiful called The Broken Circle Breakdown (2012). The beauty came from the bluegrass music and even moments when the couple was first starting to fall in love. Their relationship is tested when their daughter falls ill.  The story is not told in chronological order which makes it wonderful.

I sometimes miss my old life. Even though it was stressful going from one gig to another. I miss not being invested in the day job. There is freedom in not taking work home with you.  I've been having difficulty connecting to the writing and I think I'm blaming it on the day job. Too much of my brain space is being taken up by it. I never wanted to turn into a mediocre writer who writes as a "hobby". Even the very sound of that word makes me want to hurl. But every year I find myself just a little bit farther away from what matters to me.  Makes me sad. Yes, I can turn back to it and make time. Get up at 5 am and begin again.  It's possible. After all, I'm not dead yet. I am listening to the rain hit against my window pane and I feel time slipping away. I am blaming this cold for the melancholy that seems to have taken hold of me.

Tomorrow the day will be bright and crisp and I will take a long walk to clear the cobwebs.  Here's to a bright morning.

Peace,
L~

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