Big Shout Outs...

First off, I want to thank folks who came to the last couple of readings at the Bowery Poetry Club and Launchpad. I appreciate the support and the friendly faces in the audience. For anyone who couldn’t make it, there will be plenty of opportunities in the near future so stay tuned.

Secondly, I want to give a big shout out to Stacie T. from Twigs Salon (East 11th St.) for taming my wild frizzy mess with a fabu hair cut. My hair still looks AMAZING!!

Special thanks to New York Foundation for the Arts for the wonderful arts festival this month and to Peter Cobb and all the volunteers for making it happen. Check out this site for more upcoming events. (http://nyfabootcampfestival.wordpress.com/) I heard there will be more film and performance arts events in the near future, so stay tuned for that as well. We have some amazing creative artists so don’t miss out.

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It’s been an amazing month and it’s far from over. We are a little past the half way point and I’ve done a couple of readings to promote my book, A Scorched Page. (http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/a-scorched-page/10798320?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/2)

Can I tell you how much I love doing these reading? Seriously, putting work out to a new audience is amazing. It revs me up and leaves me buzzing, a natural high from the experience. After Launchpad’s reading, I walked from Grand Army Plaza to my house, just to expend some of that energy. Otherwise, I would never get to sleep.

I’m still working on my novel. Last night I managed to write 558 more words. Mind you, my inner critic think it’s all crap. I was starting to get hard on myself for not writing more BUT…TA-TA-DAH Tony swoops in with a great little article about how a full time working writer wrote 225 words and isn’t it cool that I wrote more. How does he manage to do that? Good friends really know what we need when our spirits are flagging. I had taken a break of about 5 days from working on my novel…and that break was too long. In that time, I managed to ALMOST convince myself that I was never going to finish this story. But on Sunday, I couldn’t let my negative speak win, I sat down and wrote almost 1,000 words…I think it was 989 words. It felt like good honest work.

The thing is every time I sit down to write, I have no idea what’s going to come out. I look at the last sentence I wrote the day before and I try to keep following that thread. It’s intuitive. But when I am not in front of the work, this control freak part of my brain wants to know where the story is going. When I find that I can’t answer that question, I struggle with the legitimacy of the work. It’s crazy, I know. Despite the work that I have already accomplished, published, produced, I still have these self-doubts that impede my way. However, I’m finding it easier and easier to navigate my way around them without it completely stopping me.

What helps? Creative meetings with Tony and checking in with him throughout the day. He helps keep me focused on the task at hand and reminds me to be gentle with myself when I am being a hard task master.

Going to see other people’s creative work: I’ve managed to see some dance performances, some plays, some live music, some readings these past couple of weeks and seeing another artist in the midst of their creative process is inspiring. I don’t want to talk about pieces being good or bad because most of the time they are works-in-progress. They might still be working out the kinks. Last night, I managed to endure a 60 minute off-Broadway play. But I managed to glean from it some interesting aspects, the soundscape and video mediums were really exciting in the first ten minutes of the piece. The mixture of the new media was gorgeous. And then the characters started talking and the piece just grated on my nerves. My sister and I ran from the theater afterwards. If it weren’t for the two older audience members asleep in our aisle, I think we would have walked out in the first 20 minutes. Creative work is still work to be experienced. I would rather experience more work that excited me though. Hehehe. So I’m crossing my fingers that tonight’s music performance at Iridium Lounge will go better than last night. Here’s to hoping.

Last thing to help my self-doubt is to continue to write, work on the creative elements. Nothing shuts up my critic faster than sitting down and putting one word in front of the other. It doesn’t have to be good, or polished, or a masterpiece. Hell, sometimes it doesn’t even have to make sense. I’ll sort out sense in my editing process. Right now, I’m just trying to reach 300 pages of text. I think I’m 40 pages in. I hope to finish this first draft by the end of December.

All for now…
L~

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