It's August 1st, 12:45 am and I can't sleep yet again.  I am physically tired but my brain won't shut off.  Before I get loads of folks telling me to meditate...I get it, I need to quiet the chattering monkeys in my head.  But here's the thing no matter how much I observe these thoughts I get caught up in the whirlwind of emotions.  I am easily swayed by a memory or a thought these days.  The ebb and flow of the moment takes over and then I'm kicking at my sheets, trying to find another comfortable position, turning round and round, chasing after them (the thoughts not the sheets).

Despite a pretty crappy week, today was a good day.  I spent the day cleaning my room.  Yes, I am one of these people who actually gets satisfaction from cleaning every nook and cranny.  It's Pine-Sol clean and it smells yummy.  Then my sister Vick came over and we walked down to JackRabbit where I picked up a pair of running sneakers. Let's see how many miles I can put onto these bad puppies.  We went and had some serious sushi, then hung out with Bleu who always manages to put his big foot in his mouth which is hilarious.  Lots of good loud laughing.  It's been ages since I've laughed this hard.

My sister Ces came over to the house with my three nieces and we hung out in a big old group and just talked and laughed.  My sisters really crack me up and I absolutely LOVE them for it.  It's amazing how we can go on for hours.  We shared some pizza and then her motley crew went home.  Vick left soon after to her place in the Bronx.  I went back to my room and finished folding and putting away laundry then fixing/dusting/organizing my shelves of painting materials which I've really needed to do for quite some time.

So I feel like I've gotten some much needed household chores done and managed to have one or two laughs with my sisters.  So why oh why am I still tossing and turning? Hmmm, I did not write today.  That was the one thing that I managed not to do.  No wonder I am sitting here cross-legged on my bed with my laptop perching on a thigh in the middle of the night wide awake.  *sigh*

I'm looking around my room and the loads of photographs of Spain and Maui tacked onto my wall.  Water fountains and waterfalls, and Gaudi architecture and I've got to say that I really miss traveling.  I  want to look into some traveling grants to get out of nyc, just for a week or even a weekend.  Perhaps a yoga retreat.  I feel so scattered and so not myself lately...and I want to escape that feeling.  Or at least find myself again.  That's such a New Age bullshit statement ...but I guess I just to reconnect and breathe again.  Now if someone can tell me how to shut off my brain that would help matters a great deal as well.

Jumping topics because this is how my brain is working these days: I managed to see the movie INCEPTION on Friday night and I thought it was a fantastic film by Christopher Nolan.  My brain really went to the esoteric element of levels of awareness in dream state.  I'm not really sure if that was the intention of Nolan but it left my brain buzzing for hours afterwards.  Do you ever get the feeling that information that is being imparted is coming from a deeper universal source?  Something almost mystical.  There is a definite paradigm shift happening in our cultural collective and seeing a movie like this one really resonated for me.  Goodness I've been complaining for weeks about all the crappy movies I've been seeing and then I saw CAIRO TIME and INCEPTION in the same week.

I'll write more about CAIRO TIME after it opens.  I'm not allowed to review this film based on my agreement with my screening group but I can't wait to open up that can of worms on August 6th.  All I'm saying about it is, if you want to see a quiet indie flick about Love, then go see this one.  I'll also write about how it's been affecting/influencing the play Prodigal that I'm currently working on.

It's now 1:27 am and I think this little writing stint did the trick.  My apologies for any spelling errors, run-on sentences and goofy phrasing...it's late, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.  I have to be up at 7 am for my weekly creative meeting with Tony.

Peace~


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