Tonight, I'm feeling a little lost.  I feel like a hamster spinning in my wheel going nowhere fast.

It's strange to think that particular image with everything "right" that has been going on in my life lately.  The NYFA Entrepreneurial workshops have been amazing, my writing group is quite wonderful, my creative meetings with my best friend T keeps me focused and positive but I feel stretched thin.

I've also been working on a event "on the side"  for the Fall but the specifics have been a bit sticky and I'm coming up against resistance.  For the record, I dislike when obstacles are thrown up in the way.  I get a bit cranky over it and really there is a part of me that just wants to raise my hands and give up on that particular project. But on principle alone, I don't want to do that.  I tend to meet obstacles as brick walls and I stand there, scratch my head and think to myself, "how high is this wall?"

I keep weighing the pros and cons over whether or not to move forward with it.  Perhaps all these no's means it's not something that I should expend my time and energy on.  I miss my events partner-in-crime right now but alas she is away on holiday. I need to gripe, complain or thrash this around with her and figure out if this is something we should even do.  Argh!!  No easy answers at the moment.  I'll just have to wait another week before I can talk it over with her.  I am sitting here waiting for the wave of frustration to subside.  Perhaps, there will be some divine intervention on the matter.

Pandora decided this was the moment to squish her body against my left thigh and sprawled out.

I feel like I'm missing something.  Like something's not quite working. It's an uncomfortable nebulous angst.  I've been pointing to the Event as if it's the reason but it's just a symptom of not feeling centered. Not feeling right.  Not getting enough work done.  What's up?  I think it's time to put some words down in my journal to see if I can sort this out.  Otherwise, I'll be up half the night tossing and turning.

Peace. x.


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