Let's see, I did not work on my goals nor my website yesterday or today.

Instead, I went to check out an apartment to rent with my sister in Crown Heights.  The place is still under construction and it's very cute but not really ready for tenants.  It's a 2.5 bedroom apartment but the place is narrow.

I feel a bit pinched for time and money lately.  Isn't everyone these days?  I'm trying not to focus on what I don't have and instead trying to focus on the roof over my head, clean drinking water, food in the fridge, a fan to keep me cool, and a working laptop.

But I can't help feeling stretched thin.  Stressed about my future.  It's a looming void of unknowns right now.  Being the self-proclaimed control-freak that I am, these unknowns feel outside of my control. Transition times are so disconcerting for me.  Looking for a new place to live, a new way to bring income into my life, writing, creative work, readings, writing groups, website work, figuring out goals...it's a lot right now.  I know it will all work out (I guess) but I can't help feeling a bit unsure of how things will unfold.
 
I am taking a deep breath, hoping for the best, and investing more time into the creative work.  At the end of the day, it's the thing that centers me, makes me feel whole, takes me away from the chattering doubts in my head and into the present moment.  Now if only I can remember this state of mind when I am panicking about my life.  ;-p


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2010 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Today is a new day.  My bad mood has subsided.  It might have something to do with the fact that I am sitting directly in front of my fan.  I woke up this morning, took a quick shower, ate a bowl of cold cereal, sat in front of my laptop and worked on my one-act play for 3.5 hours today. No excuses, just sat and tapped words onto an empty page.  Which by the way needs a title,... any suggestions will be taken into consideration.  :-)  I didn't even make myself a cup of tea...so without the help of caffeine, I sat and worked on my play.  It's coming along.  I worked in a new scene between Carlos and Astrid...which is still a little flat for me and I don't know what's missing yet but I'm taking it to my writing group this Friday for a little feedback.  Can't tell you how much this helps the process.  Otherwise, I would be sitting in my room pulling my hair out by my roots...and really the bald trend is just not a good look for me.  Some people can pull it off...but not me.

Anyway, I put in a brand new scene and revised a previous scene between Mona and Dylan.  Their fight is still a little too safe, it still needs a little more heat, turn the pressure up....but not sure how to raise the stakes yet.  I'll keep tweaking.  I am trying to get this one-act in a healthy place by the end of August.  I am submitting it / applying for the Ensemble Studio Theater One-Act Marathon for next year, deadline is September. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed.

What's next for today?  Two things:
1. I'm working on my website.  Easier said than done.
2. Working on creative goals for the NYFA workshop.

Both feel very time consuming and bit too much for right this minute.  I have to giggle because I am the queen of procrastination!!  Seriously!!  You would think that I would learn by now that if I work a little bit on it every day it doesn't feel so big and unwieldy.  Instead, I wait 'til my head is about to pop off from the stress of it before I start to manage it.

Well first the world cup semi-final game between Spain and Germany AND THEN website and goals. I could use a tiny 90-minute break.  Then back to work.  

;-)


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2010 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Today has been one of those difficult creative days.  Too much outside influence has stained the page.

I've been working on putting together an event and I can't seem to pin down the venue.  I envisioned a larger space because too many of our readings happen in hot tiny spaces.  The person I contacted for a particular place just doesn't seem to be coming through with the details, the way I had hoped.  Hence, my frustration.

So I tried to channel that anger into working on my one- act play.  Usually, working out the drama on the page helps matters but I guess I'm too past my boiling point because I found myself even more frustrated. The scene is just not working.  It's so tame, so tepid.  The argument between the two characters needs to be heightened, needs to snap, crackle and pop and instead I have a slow fizzy soft drink on the page.  You would think that by feeling so emotional that it could come out in the script.  But alas, it escapes me today.  I've been working for about two and a half hours and the irritation is seeping through my skin.

Can I blame it on the weather? Planetary alignment?  No point blaming anything on the outside world when it's the interior environment that seems to be putting the breaks on.  I think it's time to gripe and complain onto my journal pages or find some fun activity because this foul mood is gumming up the works.  Argh!


All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2010 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.