An Odd Day

Today I am off-kilter, floppy, not totally here, not totally there.  The world seems unreal, I woke up a stranger to myself.  Last night, I dreamt I was married to a German man who went out and bought me twin blond eight-year boys when I told him I wanted kids.  We lived in a very white apartment, stark and empty.  I sat in his lap and brushed his blond hair with my hand and told him I thought we would talk things over, I didn’t expect him to buy me boys on a whim.  He didn’t understand why I was protesting, his impatience frightened me and I told him we would make do.  What does that mean?  Make do* of two stolen children, what an odd thing for me to say. 

I lit a fire to burn paper in metal drums.  The flames flicked past the edge and I watched small pieces of burnt paper hover and float away. White smoke escapes.  The sun tried to make an appearance today but the clouds were dense and unforgiving.  

*made a small correction.  Changed DUE to DO.  Who knew?  Wow and I call myself an English graduate.  I think someone is revoking my card-carrying status somewhere.  Thanks for pointing out the oversight.  Keen eyes are always appreciated.  

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2010 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Grabbing Bits

Two black crows fly in synch across the yard

on this cold foggy day. A respite  
from our liaison in my head, 
I walk down to the chicken coops

to dump food scraps and collect eggs,

they gather around and scare me away

with their clucking ways.

How sharp are those beaks anyway? 

I meditate at the dream studio,

stretch my neck, tight chords unsung

wooden stick props a jaw bone wide open

teeth sink down, bite-mark scars.

Lilly, the horse, grabby-grabs apple bits

from my hand, pink white tongue scoops up treats

nipping my backpack for more when she’s eaten

them all up.  Patches of green grass sprout

past the yellow pasture.  Scarlet cardinal,

a splash of bright red on this rainy day.

The studio is cold as I work through yoga

asanas, a lopsided tree pose.

A little boy and his dad race up a small hill,

he cries in protest when his daddy takes the lead. 

Ladybug carcasses cover the window ledge.

Only You by Yaz, fills the air with long ago

memories, time to stretch and breathe other-

wise yesterday will imprison me.

I made Earl Grey tea some time ago

but putzing around for so long,

it’s gone cold. Slip and call or write

It’s a good snoozy day,

the kind where you get under a duvet

and watch a movie through sleepy hazy eyes

but I’m still doing the white rabbit dance,

I’m late, I’m late, I’m late for an important date.

Lunch consists of a tuna fish sandwich

with a little mayo, some raw onion, and sweet pickle relish,

it hits the hungry part perfectly.  I keep track of what I’ve done

this week on 3x5 index cards, to keep checking in with myself.

I can let this time escape me

a place of bliss and tranquility

but really who has time for that?

A professor crushed a bit of my spirit last fall,

I’ve been recovering small pieces ever since.

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2010 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Particulates

Venus takes off chasing cars.

Clouds do not move today

hover low without raining

A blue jay turns dry leaves

flips them away

add words to a page.

A black crow perches

on a white picket fence

dark shadows in the corner.

Dry hands if rub together

sounds like sandpaper

Eastern Bluebird flew up

bright indigo against brown leaves.

Keep moving and stretching,

restless energy starts to sneak up,

a mosquito flies into the window

over and over again. Mix medias, 

make them new again. Atrophied

muscles are being used. Venus

barks and howls outside.

Homemade blackberry jam

with creamy butter on bread.

Altra takes a catnap stretched

across a worktable and books.

 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2010 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.