Grabbing Bits

Two black crows fly in synch across the yard

on this cold foggy day. A respite  
from our liaison in my head, 
I walk down to the chicken coops

to dump food scraps and collect eggs,

they gather around and scare me away

with their clucking ways.

How sharp are those beaks anyway? 

I meditate at the dream studio,

stretch my neck, tight chords unsung

wooden stick props a jaw bone wide open

teeth sink down, bite-mark scars.

Lilly, the horse, grabby-grabs apple bits

from my hand, pink white tongue scoops up treats

nipping my backpack for more when she’s eaten

them all up.  Patches of green grass sprout

past the yellow pasture.  Scarlet cardinal,

a splash of bright red on this rainy day.

The studio is cold as I work through yoga

asanas, a lopsided tree pose.

A little boy and his dad race up a small hill,

he cries in protest when his daddy takes the lead. 

Ladybug carcasses cover the window ledge.

Only You by Yaz, fills the air with long ago

memories, time to stretch and breathe other-

wise yesterday will imprison me.

I made Earl Grey tea some time ago

but putzing around for so long,

it’s gone cold. Slip and call or write

It’s a good snoozy day,

the kind where you get under a duvet

and watch a movie through sleepy hazy eyes

but I’m still doing the white rabbit dance,

I’m late, I’m late, I’m late for an important date.

Lunch consists of a tuna fish sandwich

with a little mayo, some raw onion, and sweet pickle relish,

it hits the hungry part perfectly.  I keep track of what I’ve done

this week on 3x5 index cards, to keep checking in with myself.

I can let this time escape me

a place of bliss and tranquility

but really who has time for that?

A professor crushed a bit of my spirit last fall,

I’ve been recovering small pieces ever since.

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2010 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Particulates

Venus takes off chasing cars.

Clouds do not move today

hover low without raining

A blue jay turns dry leaves

flips them away

add words to a page.

A black crow perches

on a white picket fence

dark shadows in the corner.

Dry hands if rub together

sounds like sandpaper

Eastern Bluebird flew up

bright indigo against brown leaves.

Keep moving and stretching,

restless energy starts to sneak up,

a mosquito flies into the window

over and over again. Mix medias, 

make them new again. Atrophied

muscles are being used. Venus

barks and howls outside.

Homemade blackberry jam

with creamy butter on bread.

Altra takes a catnap stretched

across a worktable and books.

 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2010 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.

Let it be an Elegy on an Empty Stage

A breeze comes in a chilled manner

birds glide in stream lines across

the earth damp from last night’s rain.

Heavy storm clouds move in this direction

seek shelter beneath the house, a crawl space.

Intimidated meeting the blank page

ramble without much direction

icy fingers start to ache

follow behind, pulled along by a thin line

a bright blue sky past large white clouds.

There is something beautiful in a sky full of fluffy clouds

Tea is brewing, I wish there was a couch I can curl up on and write from

My heart hurts, it feels wounded… tight achy spots

too many years of grief rolls me up into a tight little ball

These days my body pushes back.  It’s 12:07 and I am blank.

I feel a little isolated and lonely at the moment

What do you want the story to be about?

About love and utter desolation.

You can’t keep skirting this loss

An empty stage

Start with a woman

putting a chair off center

at an angle and go from there. 

You will know how to fill the space

once you start. She would be silent. 

Why? A sign of repression, self-hatred.

darkness starts looking into you as well

What is the pain level these days?

Walks in the woods, the large open space,

sun prickling my skin turning it pink when it peeks out,

wind in my hair, large puffy clouds overhead,

pulling me out of the dark and twisty place from time to time.

I put the chili on the stove to warm up and grated cheddar cheese to top it.

Ill-equipped to write something meaningful and worthwhile

Art is not about thinking something up.  It is about …getting something down.

I strain, hem and haw, procrastinate, write in circles.  A spiral of misdirection.

Avoiding this lonely time

Avoiding the empty page

Just keep putting words on a page

Resistance is futile

Dim afternoon light mostly covered by clouds.

Asian ladybugs skitter across the tabletop,

keep the creepy crawlies in check.

Altra, the cat, smells of pines needles

seated on the floor beside my chair

with her back towards me standing guard.  

Stark trees look like reaching hungry hands

against the grey skies. A large mug of milky

sweet earl grey tea to keep the memories at bay. 

All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2010 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.