It's been a month since I last posted on this blog and it feels wrong to have neglected it for so long. I thought once the Spring semester ended, I would have a little more breathing space. But that's not really what came out. Instead, I went into the first summer cycle of classes and it's been kicking my butt...trying to read everything I need to read (which I really don't mind...since I love to read)...but then having to come up with something fairly intelligent to say about it (which takes a little more brain power than I have at the moment), then come up with creative work inspired by the readings (really?!...which in most cases would be fun but fried, frazzled me can't seem to find the fun)<<< oooo alliteration. I can stay here and whinge away all day but I have quite a to-do list hidden underneath a pile of paper on my desk. So....sort out papers to find to-do list...then work? Or just work on what I know is pressing against my brain at the moment and find the list later? Or slip under my duvet and call it a day at 12:57 pm on a sunny sunday? My lips just twisted up into a weird half smirk 'cause I know that ain't happening.
Tony says that it's called transition....argh! Why must transitions be so uncomfortable? I can sit with it and let the waves of being overwhelmed wash over me but there is a part of my that just wants to get things done and out of the way. Everything feels so obligatory at the moment which makes me want to rebel in the worst way. I mean, there is a part of me that just wants to procrastinate until it's 1 am in the morning and I cant sleep bc I'm stressing about the reflection paper that's due. *sigh* What is wrong with this picture? When did life become so hard to manage?
And really it's not that serious...it's not...it's just the way I am handling it...it's the way I'm looking at things. I would like to shift my perspective a little since it's slightly skewed...
Hmmm all for now...got to get on with it.
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Sunday, May 31, 2009
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I think most of the agony of going through a transition is in the wishing to be anywhere but in the transition. Of course, we are not trained to WANT to experience the transition period, so unlearning the want to be out of it is challenging. I say, just let go...let the pieces fall where they may, because they all come together in the end anyway. Sometimes the picture isn't quite what we wanted, but I have learned that often that is better anyway.
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