Words Fail Me

I’ve lost my language
deep inside a pair of faded blue jeans
Hand delves deep, I come up with
a couple of dirty coins
and a slip of fortune cookie paper
“a thrilling time is coming
in your immediate future”.

If all things are created equal
why do I have a naked window?
A saffron-dyed bed sheet with
Indian motifs use to cover it.
It was supposed to be a happy color…
it’s not and I’m not.

Big gaping orbs
tease me out of my skin.
It’s been a long time
since I’ve danced naked and
eaten succulent juice
from cold prickly pears.

I get that I’m the one
who walked out.
I get that you’re the one
who’s considered the “hurt party”

But I’ve lost my words
inside your jacket,
the one you let me wear
that last time at the concert
The one with enough room
for my pack of cigarettes,
your eye drops,
stash of weed and
lipstick.
You told me you loved me
in a quick rush of words,
a crowded space,
bodies pressed too tightly
was the only thing holding me up.

There was no quick reply
No valley of twinkling lights
No orange-scented tenderness in return
And no reason why.

You’ve taken the bed sheet away
leaving behind a stark landscape
while the land spins
a little more slowly these days.