There is nothing left to say today. It's quiet inside.
The calm before the storm
Stumble and stumble to cope with yesterday
Defense mechanisms are up and holding steady
There is nothing left to say today
Wrench the tendrils...free up
Reality check handed over
That's one way to maintain arm's length
It's quiet inside.
Heavy-handed poetry with thick words
dark, red-rimmed eyes of good-bye
soften the blows, soften the crash of illusions
The sound of glass breaking
The calm before the storm.
Howl, howl, howl in the distance
away from the pelting rain
softens the blow, softens the clash
of a struggling reality
The sound of silence...
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
there is something about a quiet moment in a frazzled life
that hits the right spot
it's almost as good as taking a swim in the ocean
on a hot summer day
it's just enough to remind me that there is space
to breathe deeply
i wrote to someone that my ex was making me
into a beautiful mess
she wrote back, "can you keep the 'beautiful' and dump the mess?"
ah, if it were that easy i would scarcely know what to do
with myself
the days are getting longer, the wind is getting milder
the changing of seasons is helping me crawl out of my shell
i've been hibernating too long and my body is ready to move again.
how do i know?
the muscles in my legs contract and relax...readying to spring into action
anticipating a run or a kick...waiting
how do i know?
i stretch and i stretch and i've yet to feel satiated by the action
perhaps a long sequence of yoga moves may help
my body screams for yoga...or karate...or swimming
my body screams to move fast/er
my body screams as i sit on this chair and write these passages
i woke up this morning wanting to be someone else
i woke up this morning wanting to be someone
i woke up this morning wanting to be
i woke up this morning wanting to
i woke up this morning wanting
i woke up this morning
i woke up this
i woke up
i woke
i
can you tell when i am lying?
is it the hesitation in my voice?
the lilt of my speech?
the avoidance technique?
can you tell me when i am lying?
i've built up the wall so high
that i've forgotten what i look like
past the rocky exterior
messy poetry is all that seems to come out lately
the words are random bits...issuing forth without an editorial eye
really i am just blank and empty
nothing in there
can you hear the echoes?
hello....(hello)....(hello)...(hello)
see what i mean?
i don't make this up
i seem to be running around
skirting the issue
and pinning me down
is like pinning mercury
isn't mercury toxic?
gasp...
pinning me down
is like holding water
in hand
mostly it's a trickling mess
i want to write...* hopping on one foot and then the other *
i want to write about stuff
about important stuff
about relevant stuff
but how do i pin down the experiences
when there are so many aspects to it
gathering sand one grain at a time
and feeling the impossibility of it riding up my spine.
i want to play
but i've forgotten how to
play...play...play...play
nope, nothing yet
if i say it enough
do you think it will come?
the reminder
the know-how
if i repeat the word
will it manifest in my life
if so, what will it look like?
and who will i play with?
hmmm how did i get here?
right, i was writing about writing stuff
bye...
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
that hits the right spot
it's almost as good as taking a swim in the ocean
on a hot summer day
it's just enough to remind me that there is space
to breathe deeply
i wrote to someone that my ex was making me
into a beautiful mess
she wrote back, "can you keep the 'beautiful' and dump the mess?"
ah, if it were that easy i would scarcely know what to do
with myself
the days are getting longer, the wind is getting milder
the changing of seasons is helping me crawl out of my shell
i've been hibernating too long and my body is ready to move again.
how do i know?
the muscles in my legs contract and relax...readying to spring into action
anticipating a run or a kick...waiting
how do i know?
i stretch and i stretch and i've yet to feel satiated by the action
perhaps a long sequence of yoga moves may help
my body screams for yoga...or karate...or swimming
my body screams to move fast/er
my body screams as i sit on this chair and write these passages
i woke up this morning wanting to be someone else
i woke up this morning wanting to be someone
i woke up this morning wanting to be
i woke up this morning wanting to
i woke up this morning wanting
i woke up this morning
i woke up this
i woke up
i woke
i
can you tell when i am lying?
is it the hesitation in my voice?
the lilt of my speech?
the avoidance technique?
can you tell me when i am lying?
i've built up the wall so high
that i've forgotten what i look like
past the rocky exterior
messy poetry is all that seems to come out lately
the words are random bits...issuing forth without an editorial eye
really i am just blank and empty
nothing in there
can you hear the echoes?
hello....(hello)....(hello)...(hello)
see what i mean?
i don't make this up
i seem to be running around
skirting the issue
and pinning me down
is like pinning mercury
isn't mercury toxic?
gasp...
pinning me down
is like holding water
in hand
mostly it's a trickling mess
i want to write...* hopping on one foot and then the other *
i want to write about stuff
about important stuff
about relevant stuff
but how do i pin down the experiences
when there are so many aspects to it
gathering sand one grain at a time
and feeling the impossibility of it riding up my spine.
i want to play
but i've forgotten how to
play...play...play...play
nope, nothing yet
if i say it enough
do you think it will come?
the reminder
the know-how
if i repeat the word
will it manifest in my life
if so, what will it look like?
and who will i play with?
hmmm how did i get here?
right, i was writing about writing stuff
bye...
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Monday, March 30, 2009
03.30.09
The last couple of days have consisted of boxes, packing and unpacking, breaking down boxes and moving an apartment's worth of furniture into one room. Not possible. Not even close. So bits and pieces were dispersed to my generous sisters who helped me move. I already miss my penthouse studio in Inwood. Not that I don't appreciate having a safety net with my parents but having been independent for so long it's an adjustment.
That feeling of having to negotiate a space that is not necessarily yours. To navigate and reassess what will fit and not fit. Nooks and crannies, drawer-full of stuff, everything just seems to be stuffed to capacity and I'm feeling a little claustrophobic. Wait, not just a little. Sunday I could barely cope and quickly fell asleep for a cat nap. I thought I would sleep for an hour...instead I slept for four hours. I woke up feeling more myself. More grounded. More in my body. That's such a strange phrase...where else can one be but in one's own body, no?
I guess I was sleep walking through the day...people were talking to me and I could only hear scraps of conversation. I was having a Charlie Brown sort of moment, where they were talking and all I could hear was WAH WAH WAH WAH.
Ah well, it's Monday and I'm feeling out of sorts. Don't ask me why? I'm almost done unpacking. There is a research paper to be done. There is prose poetry to attempt...there is four weeks left of classes...perhaps it's the calm before the storm. And not sure I have the energy to get me through. All I can do is take one task at a time. But I can see the tidal wave on the horizon....gathering strength.
Hmmm, I can feel the contemplative face taking over. I want to sit in a quiet place and just gather myself up before class. I'd almost rather skip class tonight but I may need that absence for another night.
Off I go to find a quiet spot...to read...perchance to sleep.
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
That feeling of having to negotiate a space that is not necessarily yours. To navigate and reassess what will fit and not fit. Nooks and crannies, drawer-full of stuff, everything just seems to be stuffed to capacity and I'm feeling a little claustrophobic. Wait, not just a little. Sunday I could barely cope and quickly fell asleep for a cat nap. I thought I would sleep for an hour...instead I slept for four hours. I woke up feeling more myself. More grounded. More in my body. That's such a strange phrase...where else can one be but in one's own body, no?
I guess I was sleep walking through the day...people were talking to me and I could only hear scraps of conversation. I was having a Charlie Brown sort of moment, where they were talking and all I could hear was WAH WAH WAH WAH.
Ah well, it's Monday and I'm feeling out of sorts. Don't ask me why? I'm almost done unpacking. There is a research paper to be done. There is prose poetry to attempt...there is four weeks left of classes...perhaps it's the calm before the storm. And not sure I have the energy to get me through. All I can do is take one task at a time. But I can see the tidal wave on the horizon....gathering strength.
Hmmm, I can feel the contemplative face taking over. I want to sit in a quiet place and just gather myself up before class. I'd almost rather skip class tonight but I may need that absence for another night.
Off I go to find a quiet spot...to read...perchance to sleep.
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
