The last couple of days have consisted of boxes, packing and unpacking, breaking down boxes and moving an apartment's worth of furniture into one room. Not possible. Not even close. So bits and pieces were dispersed to my generous sisters who helped me move. I already miss my penthouse studio in Inwood. Not that I don't appreciate having a safety net with my parents but having been independent for so long it's an adjustment.
That feeling of having to negotiate a space that is not necessarily yours. To navigate and reassess what will fit and not fit. Nooks and crannies, drawer-full of stuff, everything just seems to be stuffed to capacity and I'm feeling a little claustrophobic. Wait, not just a little. Sunday I could barely cope and quickly fell asleep for a cat nap. I thought I would sleep for an hour...instead I slept for four hours. I woke up feeling more myself. More grounded. More in my body. That's such a strange phrase...where else can one be but in one's own body, no?
I guess I was sleep walking through the day...people were talking to me and I could only hear scraps of conversation. I was having a Charlie Brown sort of moment, where they were talking and all I could hear was WAH WAH WAH WAH.
Ah well, it's Monday and I'm feeling out of sorts. Don't ask me why? I'm almost done unpacking. There is a research paper to be done. There is prose poetry to attempt...there is four weeks left of classes...perhaps it's the calm before the storm. And not sure I have the energy to get me through. All I can do is take one task at a time. But I can see the tidal wave on the horizon....gathering strength.
Hmmm, I can feel the contemplative face taking over. I want to sit in a quiet place and just gather myself up before class. I'd almost rather skip class tonight but I may need that absence for another night.
Off I go to find a quiet spot...to read...perchance to sleep.
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
03.23.09 Renee Gladman
In class tonight Renee Gladman poet and fiction writer came to talk to our class about her writing process. The discussion at the beginning was heady and abstract...needless to say I LOVED IT. I was furiously jotting down notes trying to keep up with the kind of discourse she was putting out. Some of it definitely went over my head...and I'm not going to try to pretend that I get it all yet...cause really she's in another league when discussing her thought process. She reminded me a little of Akilah Oliver because of the way in which she communicated some of these ideas. I want to write them down here to help unravel some of the entwined thoughts.
Renee talked about a relationship to language and how she has become more conscious of the potentiality of the moment of writing ....(my handwriting looks like chicken scratch...can't quite make out the rest of that sentence. ...) let me try this in a different way...
how in the impulse to write the thought there are infinite ways in which to convey/communicate the experience. But language...the translation of those thoughts onto the page turns into something narrow. We write in categories...in linear/logical ways while our thought patterns are more expansive than that.
Establishing a philosophy of time and experience.
The logic of the grammar tells you what to expect.
The logic of the content that can be in opposition.
The logic of the problem which can be ambiguous.
How can you get these three conditions to occupy the same space at the same time.
Can you gather the experience in the breadth of a sentence?
Conceptual way of thinking about narrative.
She creates a condition in the logical flow of the sentence is breaking down on the level of the content.
Prose as a place of experimental narrative
She is conscious of language and sound.
Brings you back to experiences
How do you grasp the experience and make it coherent.
What experiences are accumulated?
She enjoyed Henry James because he circles vague spaces.
He would write about things happening but difficult to pinpoint.
Present tense captures the ongoing-ness of being in the moment
and in the acting.
Being enacted as the narrative is unfolding.
What does prose breach that poetry does not?
Poetry as a genre is not interested in character or turth or lies...
that's not part of the discourse in poetry.
Fiction to be better needs to be more complicated.
The language has to be....
She likes translations of European fiction writers
because of the awkwardness and formality of the language.
Feels the writer interpret and re-envision
sound of translation
White space on the page is a way of framing the language
Part of the conception
Her narrators in her work tend to be slightly confused and on the periphery.
They embody that state of irresolution.
We went back to talking about how language narrows the experience.
You can only write one thing at a time...
However, if we were able to write 8 things at the same time this would approximate what the actual experience is truly like.
How do you translate the many things into one thing?
What does the order in which you tell it... tell you about the experience?
There is a lot more but this was at the core of what I wanted to record on this blog.
Because in these fragments of ideas that I was able to scavenge...something...clicked.
Something about this information gave me an A-HA moment about writing.
It hasn't quite sunk in yet....or it hasn't quite taken root...but.....
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Renee talked about a relationship to language and how she has become more conscious of the potentiality of the moment of writing ....(my handwriting looks like chicken scratch...can't quite make out the rest of that sentence. ...) let me try this in a different way...
how in the impulse to write the thought there are infinite ways in which to convey/communicate the experience. But language...the translation of those thoughts onto the page turns into something narrow. We write in categories...in linear/logical ways while our thought patterns are more expansive than that.
Establishing a philosophy of time and experience.
The logic of the grammar tells you what to expect.
The logic of the content that can be in opposition.
The logic of the problem which can be ambiguous.
How can you get these three conditions to occupy the same space at the same time.
Can you gather the experience in the breadth of a sentence?
Conceptual way of thinking about narrative.
She creates a condition in the logical flow of the sentence is breaking down on the level of the content.
Prose as a place of experimental narrative
She is conscious of language and sound.
Brings you back to experiences
How do you grasp the experience and make it coherent.
What experiences are accumulated?
She enjoyed Henry James because he circles vague spaces.
He would write about things happening but difficult to pinpoint.
Present tense captures the ongoing-ness of being in the moment
and in the acting.
Being enacted as the narrative is unfolding.
What does prose breach that poetry does not?
Poetry as a genre is not interested in character or turth or lies...
that's not part of the discourse in poetry.
Fiction to be better needs to be more complicated.
The language has to be....
She likes translations of European fiction writers
because of the awkwardness and formality of the language.
Feels the writer interpret and re-envision
sound of translation
White space on the page is a way of framing the language
Part of the conception
Her narrators in her work tend to be slightly confused and on the periphery.
They embody that state of irresolution.
We went back to talking about how language narrows the experience.
You can only write one thing at a time...
However, if we were able to write 8 things at the same time this would approximate what the actual experience is truly like.
How do you translate the many things into one thing?
What does the order in which you tell it... tell you about the experience?
There is a lot more but this was at the core of what I wanted to record on this blog.
Because in these fragments of ideas that I was able to scavenge...something...clicked.
Something about this information gave me an A-HA moment about writing.
It hasn't quite sunk in yet....or it hasn't quite taken root...but.....
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
03.23.09 4:02 pm
I have a hard time asking for help. I really do.
But when I ask for help and it doesn't come through
I feel like a petulant child about to pitch a fit.
I mean...full-on red-face, crossed-arms, ready to
stomp my foot making my pig-tails flip up. What
is it about this academic environment that makes
me regress? I get this head of steam out of pure
frustration. I need help and I can't do this on my
own and... I can't keep asking only to find more
rejection. You would think after all these years
I would have learned this lesson somewhere along
the way. Apparently not.
I have to write 250-words on what my research topic
for my Methods paper will be. That's all it is!!
I have done basic writing exercises to help me
narrow down my topic but I don'tquite have it yet.
I get that in the grand scheme of things
this is not really important....I do understand that.
There are more dire matters out there in the world
than this stupid paper. But right now, as I sit here,
writing about it...I can feel the desperation clawing at me.
I am being completely serious...look into my eyes...do
you see the "crazy" swirling back there. You see it, cause
it's there...It's 4:02 pm in the afternoon and I've been
working on this problem too long. Two weeks to be exact
and being no closer to the topic that I want to write about
makes me feel a little nutso. Yes, you read right, I used a
Fonzi term. Damn, I'm old. Okay, that just made me
giggle. It did, 'cause it's all so stupid...even writing on my
blog about it. COME ON! It's not that serious.
All right, back to work. I need to make some headway
before I get to class tonight. I'll work on it some more
when I get home. I just want a running start before I
get there. Better to have something than a whole lot of
nothing, right?
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
But when I ask for help and it doesn't come through
I feel like a petulant child about to pitch a fit.
I mean...full-on red-face, crossed-arms, ready to
stomp my foot making my pig-tails flip up. What
is it about this academic environment that makes
me regress? I get this head of steam out of pure
frustration. I need help and I can't do this on my
own and... I can't keep asking only to find more
rejection. You would think after all these years
I would have learned this lesson somewhere along
the way. Apparently not.
I have to write 250-words on what my research topic
for my Methods paper will be. That's all it is!!
I have done basic writing exercises to help me
narrow down my topic but I don'tquite have it yet.
I get that in the grand scheme of things
this is not really important....I do understand that.
There are more dire matters out there in the world
than this stupid paper. But right now, as I sit here,
writing about it...I can feel the desperation clawing at me.
I am being completely serious...look into my eyes...do
you see the "crazy" swirling back there. You see it, cause
it's there...It's 4:02 pm in the afternoon and I've been
working on this problem too long. Two weeks to be exact
and being no closer to the topic that I want to write about
makes me feel a little nutso. Yes, you read right, I used a
Fonzi term. Damn, I'm old. Okay, that just made me
giggle. It did, 'cause it's all so stupid...even writing on my
blog about it. COME ON! It's not that serious.
All right, back to work. I need to make some headway
before I get to class tonight. I'll work on it some more
when I get home. I just want a running start before I
get there. Better to have something than a whole lot of
nothing, right?
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
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