I fit into a thimble today.
Folded in upon itself, contracted and restrained.
Pulling inward in sharp gaping breaths.
Otis lies on the desk stretching himself long, his claws tug at my forearm.
A black cat with white paws who eats so fast it makes him puke
The sky is taking on the appearance of another storm.
I am listening to the song That's the Way Love Goes by Janet Jackson.
A list of toiletries to buy is sitting next to the computer.
I've resorted to reporting the lethargic machinations of the present moment.
PJ Harvey is wailing on her song, The Dancer
her screams make a wide open plain.
****
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
07.02.09
Today S broke things off. It was the first thing I read this morning and that is how my day started.
I began to move, I got up and fed Pandora, took a shower, dried my damp hair and packed a bag to stay at K's place. I kept moving, I dropped a note to T telling him it was done and kept pressing on. He wrote back and told me to keep writing. I wrote a quick note to mami with instructions for P and grabbed my bag and an umbrella and walked to the train station. I arrived just as the train was pulling in and headed into Chelsea. I arrived at K's apt and greeted only T-Bone since Otis was hiding. Her white head rubbed against my black t-shirt and left white bits of kitty hair on it. K left me a birthday present, Lonely Planet's London and I burst into tears.
I wrote a quick note to S and left to go meet Vick for lunch. We ate meek Mexican food and both cried into our salty margaritas. We won't got back to that place. We walked straight through Washington Square Park and parted ways, she went back to work and I went for a walk. I walked to the Strands bookstore looking for an out of print title...but the place was crowded as usual and I couldn't take the meandering tourists today. I walked over to Forbidden Planet...usually the best geek sanctuary but the chick with the attitude at the info booth rubbed me the wrong way so I left. Someone please teach her how to spell. I stopped at a card store looking for a moleskin book but they didn't have any in stock. I wanted to buy an iced coffee but I was afraid my bitter tongue would make me wretch.
Sometimes you just have to be in the right mood...and I wasn't. I kept walking...and kept an eye on the heavy green clouds overhead. I passed a guy eating frozen yogurt with bright red strawberries. I passed a woman who looked like a model, we had the same bangs...she looked better in them. I walked out in front of a car by accident and had a DeNiro moment, I'm walking here. And faster and faster I walked, not wanting to stop, not wanting the crying spell to start. I made it back just as the thunder rolled in and the clouds poured down and I sat in a chair and let all this flood out.
*******
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
I began to move, I got up and fed Pandora, took a shower, dried my damp hair and packed a bag to stay at K's place. I kept moving, I dropped a note to T telling him it was done and kept pressing on. He wrote back and told me to keep writing. I wrote a quick note to mami with instructions for P and grabbed my bag and an umbrella and walked to the train station. I arrived just as the train was pulling in and headed into Chelsea. I arrived at K's apt and greeted only T-Bone since Otis was hiding. Her white head rubbed against my black t-shirt and left white bits of kitty hair on it. K left me a birthday present, Lonely Planet's London and I burst into tears.
I wrote a quick note to S and left to go meet Vick for lunch. We ate meek Mexican food and both cried into our salty margaritas. We won't got back to that place. We walked straight through Washington Square Park and parted ways, she went back to work and I went for a walk. I walked to the Strands bookstore looking for an out of print title...but the place was crowded as usual and I couldn't take the meandering tourists today. I walked over to Forbidden Planet...usually the best geek sanctuary but the chick with the attitude at the info booth rubbed me the wrong way so I left. Someone please teach her how to spell. I stopped at a card store looking for a moleskin book but they didn't have any in stock. I wanted to buy an iced coffee but I was afraid my bitter tongue would make me wretch.
Sometimes you just have to be in the right mood...and I wasn't. I kept walking...and kept an eye on the heavy green clouds overhead. I passed a guy eating frozen yogurt with bright red strawberries. I passed a woman who looked like a model, we had the same bangs...she looked better in them. I walked out in front of a car by accident and had a DeNiro moment, I'm walking here. And faster and faster I walked, not wanting to stop, not wanting the crying spell to start. I made it back just as the thunder rolled in and the clouds poured down and I sat in a chair and let all this flood out.
*******
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
This...
This is what I show you: I am self-sufficient and I don’t need your help, (but I do), your words do not hurt (but they do), that I can maintain this perpetual state of stasis with you (but I can’t), I’ve moved on (but I haven’t), I will always love you (but I won’t be able to keep it up for much longer), you are enough (but it’s only an illusion),
you fill me up (but you leave me worn thin), you make me feel better (but you drain me), I can’t live without you (but I can’t keep lying to myself), I am strong (but I give over and it renders me powerless), You think you know me….
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
you fill me up (but you leave me worn thin), you make me feel better (but you drain me), I can’t live without you (but I can’t keep lying to myself), I am strong (but I give over and it renders me powerless), You think you know me….
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2009 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
