The memorial for Akilah Oliver was terribly sad and beautiful. Her family told stories about the woman that they knew as sister and aunt. Then her friends honored her in poetry and song. The words, the verses broke my heart open and I cried through the better part of the memorial. The tears were necessary and cathartic and I woke up this morning feeling lighter than I have in almost two months. That is not to say that I won’t miss Akilah a great deal, but allowing myself the space to grieve in a community loosened up the emotions I had been trying to tamp down this past week. The verses read soothed my spirit and the tears lightened me up. Some folks read her words out loud and all I can say is I wish I had known her better. The writing community lost a brilliant intellectual, poet and teacher.
Nandai:
Since time began
the dead alone know peace.
Life is but melting snow.
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Two poems, journal entry and a blog entry
Today, I wrote two poems and a 630-word journal entry and now this blog entry. No, I did not get up early this morning. I couldn’t pry my eyes open. I even contemplated taking a sick day from work but with my upcoming move up to the boogie-down Bronx…I need every penny I can scrape up.
It feels decadent to be able to work on my writing. The office is quiet enough to let the words bubble up. Each piece takes me at least an hour because there are phone and people interruptions. But poetry becomes almost a meditative practice as I read and re-read the lines over and over again. I’m listening for the music of the piece. There is a certain rhythm structure that underlies each one. I also play with language and look up words in the dictionary and thesaurus to find better flavors to give a poem a different color. Both pieces are pretty rough and I’ll work on smoothing down the edges when I get home tonight. I just need a couple of hours to distance myself enough from the piece to look at it with fresh eyes tonight. So far I have 4 out of 5 pieces for tomorrow’s writing group.
I am cold and achy; they’ve turned up the air in the office. I know they do this to circulate the otherwise stale air but it doesn’t help my cold much.
Tonight, I’m going to Akilah Oliver’s memorial service. My stomach is tied up in knots at the prospect of attending but…it may help me come to terms with her death. I’m afraid my pragmatic nature has escaped me in this instance. I looked up to her. She was an amazing poet with a steady, critical eye. She had a way of making me feel competent with the whole writing poetry thing. She treated me like a peer. When I took her class at L.I.U., I felt capable of getting better at the craft and my work flourished. I’m so grateful for the semester that I had her as a professor.
Peace
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
It feels decadent to be able to work on my writing. The office is quiet enough to let the words bubble up. Each piece takes me at least an hour because there are phone and people interruptions. But poetry becomes almost a meditative practice as I read and re-read the lines over and over again. I’m listening for the music of the piece. There is a certain rhythm structure that underlies each one. I also play with language and look up words in the dictionary and thesaurus to find better flavors to give a poem a different color. Both pieces are pretty rough and I’ll work on smoothing down the edges when I get home tonight. I just need a couple of hours to distance myself enough from the piece to look at it with fresh eyes tonight. So far I have 4 out of 5 pieces for tomorrow’s writing group.
I am cold and achy; they’ve turned up the air in the office. I know they do this to circulate the otherwise stale air but it doesn’t help my cold much.
Tonight, I’m going to Akilah Oliver’s memorial service. My stomach is tied up in knots at the prospect of attending but…it may help me come to terms with her death. I’m afraid my pragmatic nature has escaped me in this instance. I looked up to her. She was an amazing poet with a steady, critical eye. She had a way of making me feel competent with the whole writing poetry thing. She treated me like a peer. When I took her class at L.I.U., I felt capable of getting better at the craft and my work flourished. I’m so grateful for the semester that I had her as a professor.
Peace
L~
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Wednesday…that insipid day in the middle of the week.
It’s a bright sunny day in NYC, although a tad chilly for this sickly poet. Sorry, still recovering from a chest cold and that little wind that crosses the avenues chills me down to my bones and freezes up my capacity to breathe.
I’ve spent the better part of the afternoon writing poetry. It did the soul some good to get some phrases out onto the page. I have another three to finish before the end of the week. Yes, writing group meets up on Friday so I’m working on getting new material out to them. Deadlines work for me. Keeps me working and focused. Kind of.
My brain, these days, is a deluge of wandering thoughts. Chattering monkeys galore. I write to calm them down, sedate them down back to a more yielding nature. At the very least my writing puts them to sleep. That is not to say that my writing is boring, or at least I hope that is not what I am writing. I think writing gives me headspace to sort myself out. I get to the point where I am tired of hearing my own complaints and something must be done. Action must be taken on my own account or I will surely drown in this miasma of my own self-pity. It’s just not pretty.
As I write this blog entry (it’s a slow afternoon here at work) I am listening to Tori Amos’s album, From the Choirgirl Hotel. I always forget how much I love this particular album. The rock element makes me want to get up and dance around. Her song, She’s Your Cocaine is blasting on my iTunes and I can barely sit still. So there is head bobbing, foot tapping, and swinging my desk chair from side to side. Like I said, it can’t be helped. Wish I could blast it out as loud as I can in this quiet beige office and dance on top of my desk. Hmmm, I’m not sure it would be appreciated. Hehehe. That thought made me giggle out loud. My neighbor in the cube next to me must think I’m mad when I laugh quietly to my own blog entries.
Yes, so back to the writing life. It’s not easy dedicating lots of time to writing, so I steal bits and pieces and pull them together when I can. 20 minutes here, an hour there, a couple of poems, a couple of brainstorming lines…it all adds up. I do know that I need to set aside more dedicated time to the writing since it keeps me from losing my shit. An afternoon of writing has already straightened me out and has me feeling right as rain again. It’s a small miracle. I don’t use that word lightly because the way I was feeling this morning was short of tragic and after spending three hours putting words down on a page, I am already starting to feel a bit better. Tomorrow, I will put more time in. Perhaps, dare I say it aloud, even get up early before I get ready for work and put in three pages towards my new idea/novel. Be still my rattling lungs. We shall have to see on that front ‘specially since it takes every ounce of self-will to get myself out of bed in the morning. Wish me luck on that front.
Peace~
Lily
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
I’ve spent the better part of the afternoon writing poetry. It did the soul some good to get some phrases out onto the page. I have another three to finish before the end of the week. Yes, writing group meets up on Friday so I’m working on getting new material out to them. Deadlines work for me. Keeps me working and focused. Kind of.
My brain, these days, is a deluge of wandering thoughts. Chattering monkeys galore. I write to calm them down, sedate them down back to a more yielding nature. At the very least my writing puts them to sleep. That is not to say that my writing is boring, or at least I hope that is not what I am writing. I think writing gives me headspace to sort myself out. I get to the point where I am tired of hearing my own complaints and something must be done. Action must be taken on my own account or I will surely drown in this miasma of my own self-pity. It’s just not pretty.
As I write this blog entry (it’s a slow afternoon here at work) I am listening to Tori Amos’s album, From the Choirgirl Hotel. I always forget how much I love this particular album. The rock element makes me want to get up and dance around. Her song, She’s Your Cocaine is blasting on my iTunes and I can barely sit still. So there is head bobbing, foot tapping, and swinging my desk chair from side to side. Like I said, it can’t be helped. Wish I could blast it out as loud as I can in this quiet beige office and dance on top of my desk. Hmmm, I’m not sure it would be appreciated. Hehehe. That thought made me giggle out loud. My neighbor in the cube next to me must think I’m mad when I laugh quietly to my own blog entries.
Yes, so back to the writing life. It’s not easy dedicating lots of time to writing, so I steal bits and pieces and pull them together when I can. 20 minutes here, an hour there, a couple of poems, a couple of brainstorming lines…it all adds up. I do know that I need to set aside more dedicated time to the writing since it keeps me from losing my shit. An afternoon of writing has already straightened me out and has me feeling right as rain again. It’s a small miracle. I don’t use that word lightly because the way I was feeling this morning was short of tragic and after spending three hours putting words down on a page, I am already starting to feel a bit better. Tomorrow, I will put more time in. Perhaps, dare I say it aloud, even get up early before I get ready for work and put in three pages towards my new idea/novel. Be still my rattling lungs. We shall have to see on that front ‘specially since it takes every ounce of self-will to get myself out of bed in the morning. Wish me luck on that front.
Peace~
Lily
All artwork, photos, and text © Copyright 2008-2011 Liliana Almendarez unless indicated otherwise. All Rights Reserved. Any downloading, copying or use of images on this website is strictly prohibited without express written consent by Liliana Almendarez.
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